Situation's like this, I have 19 year old friend that is involved with a married man. She knows what she's doing is wrong, and knows that she should get out of it, but can't. I want the help her move out of the relationship, but don't know what to do or how to talk to her to help her. Any ideas??
2006-09-25 22:45:50 · 19 answers · asked by amy_butterflyblade 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you shouldn't force her into making a decision or make the decision for her. If things turn out right after that,fine. If things backfire and got worse,then you will be blamed for something that should have benefit your friend. Hope you get what I mean.
I've been at both ends before,so I absolutely know how your friend is feeling now. It's hard to control emotion. Obviously the man is making use of her. She will just have to get out of it herself. As for you,a friend,should just advice her a friend and leave the decision-making for her.
Good Luck!
2006-09-26 00:35:46 · answer #1 · answered by Geo C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if I was in the situation I would talk her out of being with this married man if she doesn't take your advice then go striaght to the mans wife and tell her whats going on .
But truthfully it wouldn't be my business if she wants to make the wrong decisions then let her shes the one thats going to get hurt anyway , she knows what she is doing is wrong so shes just asking for it all you can do is be her friend when he goes back to his wife .
2006-09-26 05:54:45 · answer #2 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here are some questions you can ask her.
1) Is she happy spending weekends, holidays, birthdays and being sick alone? Not having someone around when she needs someone.
2) Is she prepared to set around waiting on him, when he is available? She will be at his disposal.
3) She will be going to family events alone, yet feel like she has a man out there.
4) Does she want kids one day? Unless it happens by accident with him, he is not prepared to start a family with her. She will be waiting a long time.
He will tell her anything to keep her around.
*He will tell her that he loves her
*That he is filing for divorce
*That his wives neglects him
*He is in an unhappy marriage but needs to stay in it for the kids and financial reasons
Those are just things to keep her hanging around. He has no intentions on leaving his wife
Right now she is probably feeling like she loves him and no other man can meet how she feels about him. When it comes right down to it and that man had to make a choice, he would choose his wife over her. Even if he and his wife split up he would not choose her but only for a booty call. If he chose her the relationship would fail. Men want a woman that will respect theirself and present theirself in a respectful manner.
2006-09-26 06:58:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all your friend is not having an affair.. the married man is. You have to be married first to be able to have an affair. The best way to end this is to let the wife know (without revealing your identity).
2006-09-26 07:20:07 · answer #4 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know that she will not go no where in this relationship. if he is lying at home, he will be lying to her. think off the wife who
has no knowledge, think off the kids if any. also ask this if unhappy why still married? why would she want a man who would leave his wife for her as that shows he is that weak that another woman can take him from her. what goes around comes back around, and you reap what you sow.
2006-09-26 06:44:39 · answer #5 · answered by daysinn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1.) encourage the relationship and suggest she has his baby and have him file for divorce. Sometimes people think se xis bad and choose the wrong partners. If she visualizes a good relationship with the person maybe she will see he does not fill the bill. ect...
2.) have her help you to avoid the same scenerio and maybe she will figure out what she is doing is wrong.
2006-09-26 06:43:55 · answer #6 · answered by Red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think we already heard from him. . in another questions, or just like that. Is he a millionaire, so he says, and his wife is 4 months pregnant, and he thinks he can run off with a 19 yr old girl who he thinks is hot, and he is 16 yrs older than her. Tell her to tell him to get lost. He knew he was married and he kept at it, so he is too old, if this is the same one, anyway, they both are losers. Anyone that runs around, will do it again, and again, and again.
2006-09-26 05:50:51 · answer #7 · answered by shardf 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell her that no matter how much she thinks hse loves him, when it comes to the crunch, he wont leave his life, its just a temorary thing, that ultimately is going to ruin her. Tell her to find something new to focus on, e.g. a boyfriend, remind her how at 19, she should b out there having fun, not obsessing over someone, who really, deep down, doesnt care for her
2006-09-26 06:09:23 · answer #8 · answered by Tara D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she can't get out of it --why- is she tied up, locked in the closet, or just saying she wants out but doesn't-- she needs to tell him this its over, and if you ever bother me again, your wife will be involved in the details of our affair,so get lost and stay that way
2006-09-26 05:55:39 · answer #9 · answered by Ladder Captain-29 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep lovingly but firmly help her face the facts - that if this man is cheating on his marriage then he will almost certainly one day cheat on her
and that he is having his cake and eating it too whilst she permits it
but the best cure is not to start even dating someone you know is married in the first place
2006-09-26 05:49:40 · answer #10 · answered by Aslan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋