I'm probably the youngest female at my workplace which is also, dominated by men. In general, I have always been very shy. There are people that I would like to talk to, but I usually get tongue-tied and I keep my head down and keep quiet. It makes me look like a really anti-social person, but I know that deep down, I'm a fun-loving and somewhat humorous individual. I just can't seem to bring the real me into the workplace.
How do I get over this, talk to people and let them know the real me?
2006-09-25 22:45:23 · 16 answers · asked by mizuyah13 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
To break the ice, why dont you bring some cakes in one day or something......send a mail and let everyone know......we do that in our office all the time and its a good excuse to have a chit chat for five minutes also. People will come over and say thanks and you can start up a few conversations that way.
2006-09-25 22:53:49 · answer #1 · answered by Annie M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if I was shy, or simply had low self confidence. Perhaps they are the same thing.
What I suggest is imagine a powerful woman that you admire and respect. When you go into work make an effort to keep your head high, your chin must be up. By doing this you tell your brain that everything is o.kay. By having your chin down you tell your brain that you are fearful and might be in danger.
Next, when standing keep your hands at your side, or even on your hips, it is an open position, you will feel exposed and vulnrable but after a short while you feel more confident. Now, that powerful woman I wanted you to think about, channel her energy...make yourself react as she would. With the confidence she would.
This all takes time, but i became the go to man, and the only person people cried about leaving our workplace.
It is a matter of bringing your inner beauty to the surface so everyone that you work with can admire and appreciate you.
Whether they are older or younger, male or female, at work you all become equal and bonded by your workplace goals.
Best of Luck.
P.S : There are books on being an Alpha Male available.
It doesn't matter if you are female, and it's not about being tough or rugged. It's all about finding your confidence.
I enjoy being seen as the alpha in a group, when at time i just want to run home and watch a DVD and pat my dog.
2006-09-26 02:45:35 · answer #2 · answered by gideon9595 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The workplace is a very scary place to just be yourself because you're constantly being assessed on your performance & such. Add the fact that you're in a male dominated industry & that would cause most people to clam up a little. What I have seen, the main cause if shyness is worrying too much what people think of you. When you let go of the fear of what they think of you it's amazing how liberating & free you feel & it's relaxing so you're less likely to trip over words when you talk with confidence to people. It's also daunting to talk to people of senior ranking but in the end, you're all just people - no one is better than anyone else. Just keep it to tasteful & appropriate conversation because remember, you're at work & it's easy to get a bad name for yourself even if other people are swearing or being crude I personally try to avoid that.
Have a little faith in yourself, take it slow (put in a comment here or there before you try to solo a whole conversation) & just be yourself!
2006-09-25 23:00:34 · answer #3 · answered by shirazzza 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your shyness can really work wonders for you!! Im also a very shy, once anti social, but one thing I realized if you help yourself no one else will!! Remember work will always be work but on break or lunch make your move. or maybe you should get another job, you should get into sales, shy people work very great in sales, it takes you out of your shell allot!!!!!!!! and using your deep down funloving person out!! I can say i know because Ican say again, i went through the exact same thing and now im a: Vehicle sales manager and Real Estate Salesman: ) what will help you more is that majority of people who come out of their shell get trusted allot!! People trust you, remember what im talking about...and get involved in something where you give speeches, it feels hecktic but it works..
2006-09-25 22:57:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep quiet and listen to the general chat. Once you know what people in your office talk about you can join in subjects that interest you.
Other ideas would be to make a point of saying good morning to each colleague the first time you meet them each day but leave it up to them to take the conversation further. don't set yourself goals that are too ambitious or you will clam up with nerves and convince yourself you can't do it so take it very slowly.
2006-09-26 05:14:02 · answer #5 · answered by SLH 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having always and still working in a predominantly male work places I find you have the upper hand!! Its so much easier to get on with men!!! I always found that the "bitchiness" within a workplace made it that bit harder for the new girls to fit in whereas with men - they just take you as you come and you just slot in like you've been there all your life!
Just start chatting about anything - how long they've worked there - enquire about their outside work activities - anything! You'll fit in there in no time - good luck!
2006-09-25 22:55:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look in the mirror every morning and express what you see : a young beautiful, smart and good hearted woman. You have to be proud of yourself. When you walk in the street keep that feeling in mind and in your heart. When you get to the office remember what you saw in the mirror. They all admire you, and for good reason. Then why get shy ? Don't ! Not anymore.
2006-09-26 00:07:02 · answer #7 · answered by Mira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-02-11 08:19:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will just have to be more responsive.
But being responsive doesn't mean you have to say yes to everything others say.
You can't be sociable overnight. It takes time. Don't force yourself tho' if it doesn't make you feel good and comfortable.
All the best!
2006-09-26 01:29:59 · answer #9 · answered by Geo C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to see these people out side of the work place where you feel at ease.. once you have gotten drunk with them the barriers will be down...
2006-09-25 23:15:45 · answer #10 · answered by besidetheseaside 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋