We just had our 1st child and I have been doing everything, fixing meals, bottles, laundry, house cleaning, caring for the child, while my wife recovers. I have now had to go back to work and now on the second day she gets upsetr cause she had to get up with the child at 330. What do I do?
Understand this is not the 1st time she has acted like a spoiled brat, and I understand I have helped by taking care of her since we came home from the hospital, but it is time for her to grow up and realize it is not about her.
I am near my wits end, HELP!
2006-09-25 22:02:35 · 9 answers · asked by spcresha 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Has she always acted like this, or just during pregnancy and afterwards? I don't want to make excuses for her, but hormones during and after pregnancy do strange and wacky things to a woman. She may be suffering from post partum depression, which, if left unchecked can be quite serious. Have her see her doctor asap. IF this is nothing new, then you are right, it is NOT about her anymore, there is an innocent, helpless child here that NEEDS her mom. Tell her this! She has no choice here, she is a mom now and for the next 18+ years. I think tough love may be your only alternative here, providing she is not a danger to your child. )When I say danger, I mean neglectful...will she ignore the child is SHE is trying to nap?)
Good Luck!
2006-09-26 02:05:21 · answer #1 · answered by Trixie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that, tryt talking to your wife. Is she feeling overwhelmed? Would a little help during the day make her feel better about things, more confident. Is she feeling depressed? Ask her what the problem is. If she feels overwhelmed call the hospital where your child was born and see if they have a support group for first time moms. Is she just a little unsure, I mean neither one of you has done this before, right? Maybe shes less comfortable jumping into things as you have. Could she be depressed? Have her check with the doctor, post partum depression is not a myth and can be treated.
2006-09-26 02:07:12 · answer #2 · answered by skylark455st2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Shanon, You said this is your first child.Some women are afraid that they might hurt their baby.The mother really thinks you can break a baby real easy.If for some reason,this isn't the case,your wife need to start being a mother to her daughter.She needs to bond with her baby,and the baby will bond to her.If she will not be a mother,and take the responablity of caring for her own child,i would get her into somekind of counciling A.S.A.P. Good Luck.
Clowmy
2006-09-25 22:26:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a firm believer in "Tough Love". I went down the road with a couple of marriages and its not always fair who it winds up latter on down the road with the cruddy end of the stick particularly with child support and anger issues with the spouse. It is not always going to be a bed of roses. All I can say is welcome to marriage. You either have to weight your priorities as to what you are willing to put up with or move on. Also take into consideration that she might be suffering with post partum blues but it sure don't sound like depression to me. It sounds like what you said "Spoiled". My heart is with you because you have a new baby and things could get rough if she is not willing to change.
2006-09-25 22:13:38 · answer #4 · answered by soniaatcalifornia 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry you are having a tough time.
Please realise that your wife has been through a lot and needs you right now.
Can you hire someone to help her out a few hours a day? how old is the baby?
2006-09-25 22:06:10 · answer #5 · answered by sheila 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about responsibilities that you both have. Make it clear that this is a teamwork. Just be very careful when saying this because she might be prone to post natal depression. Be very patient.
Good luck and i hope for the best for you.
2006-09-25 22:08:16 · answer #6 · answered by say_what!!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she shouldn't act like that. my old man, helped out at first, cuz i was all sore an stuff, but i was breastfeeding and still am. my old man is sleepin right now and my baby just fell asleep. your old lady should grow up and start acting like a woman. my daughter is 3 mos. now and i do everything for her. your woman bottle feeds for crying out loud. that shouldn't be that hard. im 19 yrs old my old man is 27. i know it gets tough, sometimes i yell at him for not helping as much, but its my daughter you know, i'm her mother. same for your wife, she has to learn to deal with her child, thats what mothers are suppose to do.
2006-09-25 22:14:42 · answer #7 · answered by ojibwe87 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the first child is always the hardest but be there for her but if she is always down in the dumps see the docter it could be personal depression it is a pretty serious thing it is a medical condition
2006-09-25 22:08:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well have a quiet calm talk with her IF you can find the time and i hope you do. try not to be overbearing and act snobbishly put on your best sad face and talk to her about the situation.
2006-09-25 22:11:29 · answer #9 · answered by aznxpranksta69 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋