my ex and i have been broken up for awhile..we had a very dramatic relationship and since then i've tried to move on..well anyway i've tried to lose all contact with him but he sent me this email today saying that the girl he loves wants to stay with her boyfriend..he wants my advice about how to go about getting her back...you can say that i still have feelings for him..i feel torn..i really want to comfort him but i really, really need to get on with my life..am i a ***** for not responding or am i doing the right thing?
2006-09-25 21:43:58 · 17 answers · asked by yowww kelly clarkson 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you need to stay away from him- i think he is really insensitive & selfish to bother you w/ such personal info. about his "new life". having your compassion & understanding is a privelidge he lost when you broke up- he'll have to find what he needs in his "new woman"cant have his cake & eat it, too. anyway, sorry about your break-up. I know it su@ks-
2006-09-25 21:48:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's How:
The spark is missing - Tell the person you enjoyed spending time together or advising, but for whatever reason, you just don't feel the spark.
You don't want to mislead the person - Explain that you care too deeply about the person to ever lead them on, or make them feel the relationship has a chance to progress.
Be encouraging - Let him know know he has a great a great catch, will be happy with her.
Give positive feedback only - Honestly answer any questions by a simple "I am sorry but you are not in a position to give such advice" do not be nasty. Remember, you are a nice or girl.
Don't blame the person - Don't in any way make him feel like the breakup is his fault.
Don't continue getting physical - Making a nice person believe there's a chance to continue the relationship, when you have no intention of really dating them again, is just plain wrong.
Deliver the message clearly - If you think the person will have a hard time leaving you alone, be as clear and business-like as possible in communicating your message that the relationship is over.
2006-09-26 05:06:01 · answer #2 · answered by Rahul 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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SUPERBOOKS ANSWERS:
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In that situation, the only real true answer you can give to this guy is this:
"I am not the one that you should be asking this question to. If you feel you can't handle the situation yourself, then perhaps you should seek the help of a counselor or teacher or relative.
These people will be more equipped to answer you than I would.
Actually I have no answer so therefore I refer you to someone who does (a teacher or counselor or social worker).
Perhaps if you still have dating problems you can go to a group like a singles group or parents without partners group or a church or synogogue group for single daters.
Honestly it's up to you what you want to do and the decision and ideas have to come from you not me.
YOU are the one that holds the answers. You've had the answers for yourself in the past when you made other decisions , now is the time to look to your own answers now.
Seriously , I cannot counsel you in this matter. And, if you wish to keep asking me to do this, then we shouldn't be on speaking terms any longer because you will not be honoring my wishes to keep me out of it."
Just tell him that and you can't go wrong. This is not an emotional decision that you need to make . You just need to do what is right .
And, what is right is to tell him he needs to make his own decisions. Life will handle the rest.
And you will survive and as soon as you empty that space that you are holding there for him, someone awesome will come into your life to fill that space up --even if that most awesome person is yourself and your own new liberty and independence.
There you go. THe answer is yours , and the decision is still yours.
ONLY you know the answer of what to say to him .
The above writing was just a suggestion because you asked the question.
Have a peaceful , independent day and week.
2006-09-26 04:57:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no and depends. you need to take care of yourself before you can really help him. if you are trying to keep a friendship you might respond just to be a friend, but if it is to painful for you then you do not have to right away or at all. it all depends on you. if you are feeling guilty for not responding then you might respond to help your guilt but if he keeps writing you don't have to answer. I think so far you are just being human and doing the right thing is a matter of personal belief
2006-09-26 04:49:45 · answer #4 · answered by daggermouth 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He concerns you a friend. a trusted friend. You cant be that for him and its OK. You know what it is for you and your right about not responding. If he emails again. Simply tell him. That for you, its better and that you choose not to have any contact with him at this time, you are just not ready to be his friend.
There is nothing wrong with how you feel. Its real
2006-09-26 06:30:27 · answer #5 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can't forget him, just be honest to yourself what you want to do next?.. If you keep thinking of him making you can't move on with your life, just think is it worth it for you to do so?.. While he is loving somebody else and you crying for yourself alone.. When you decided to lose all contact with him, then I don't think you should reply to him coz it only will make you more sad when thinking him with other girl.. And you will never move on and keep hanging there forever.. Get on with your life and maybe you will found someone that is worth for your love.. Goond Luck to you..
2006-09-26 04:58:21 · answer #6 · answered by Vt Beauty 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont respond him! let him solve his own problems! his a big boy and im sure he has friends or family....
You need to fully cut him off and move on with your own life! your words are not going to change his life forever!!
2006-09-26 04:52:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever consider he might be referring to you? Winning you back and asking in a round about way of doing it. Sounds to me like you may have some unfinished business...good luck!!
2006-09-26 05:17:26 · answer #8 · answered by issiez 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't respond back. He's trying to suck you back in. Move on with your life. Run faster and jump higher!!!!...lol
2006-09-26 05:35:30 · answer #9 · answered by java_g_man 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont be a dumbo... check out what exactly he needs.. what if he needs u back? will u go back to him.. i'd say no.. when he can leave u for someone else once.. cant he do it again.. he wants to come back to you.. stay away.
2006-09-26 05:29:35 · answer #10 · answered by $~~BrOKeN~~$ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋