right i have been having problems with my partner and i confideed in this male friend well i thought he was a friend! he tried it on with me and sent me a few txts, i didnt tell my partner straight away until last nite know he is hurting and is very quiet. even though nothing happened he thinks i should have told him straight away, but i was worried how he would react know worried if he is gona leve my or confrunt this lad that is a waste of space.
2006-09-25 21:27:34 · 20 answers · asked by purdy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Where do you live purdy... I have contacts all ova .
this guy needs talkin to....
What a tossa!
2006-09-25 21:31:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you have done the right thing, perhaps not quite as quickly as you should have. look at this from your mans point of view, if you had told him immediately he would have still reacted the same way but would have had no nagging feelings, the fact you waited puts a nagging doubt in his head, he wont see it as you trying to protect his feelings.All you can do is try to explain why you waited and hope that he loves and trusts you enough to believe that.this is minor as far as relationship blunders go and if you two have a solid relationship to begin with then you both should make it. He may also be hurting because the problems you two were having were discussed with not just someone else but with another man. perhaps next time talk the problems over with him, that's the only way to get them solved, if he doesn't know what he is doing wrong then how can he fix it. we all need advice from time to time , hell my girlfriends will tell you im always asking them lol, but the serious stuff regarding relationships needs to be discussed between the parties involved.
2006-09-26 04:36:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you have done is confided in the wrong person, if you are having problems with your partner then he is the one you should be talking to. I guess right now he is feeling hurt and is probably questioning your relationship, men have a lot of pride and they tend not to gossip about relationships like we women do, where did you meet this male friend and how did he get you number? did your partner know about your male friend? There is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex as long as they are not 'secret' friends. I think you have a lot of explaining and grovelling to do and that is only to sort this recent problem out, it seems to me you have escalated your 'other' problems now, it may be that you two are never the same again and parting of ways might be the only answer.
2006-09-26 04:36:24 · answer #3 · answered by pottydotty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know of a situation very similar. A very beautiful young woman I know was having troubles with her marriage and she confided in me. We got pretty close and though we both turned each other on like crazy, we both knew that we could let nothing sexual ever happen. Anyhow, I went away for a while, her marriage was still ruff, but manageable. As of today, I mean nothing to this woman and she has found someone else to "confide" in, and I am pretty sure that there is some sexual contact. Her husband is now getting a divorce and she is at a complete loss in deciding between what she needs and wants, and what she thinks she wants. All I know is that you did make one hell of a mistake, and nothing good will come of it. It will take alot to earn your partners trust back---if you ever will.
2006-09-26 04:56:07 · answer #4 · answered by randall w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your partner to grow up (in a nice, subtle way of course - using your highly developed female abilities at diplomacy) and that there was nothing going on and that you didn't tell him earlier BECAUSE there was nothing going on and get him to admit that he either does or doesn't trust you. Talk it through and get it out of the way once and for all. Then you can move on. Also explain to your man that he should not confront this other guy cos you don't want that. Explain that you will give this guy a wide berth - and so should he!
2006-09-26 04:33:31 · answer #5 · answered by big pup in a small bath 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men and women can't be friends. Sex always gets in the way. You may think that things were just platonic between you both, but he obviously didn't feel like that. I suggest you distance youself from that man and focus on your fella. What was it that made you confide in the other bloke in the first place? Talk to your man and try to make him see that you wanted someone to talk to about how you were feeling and he was there at the time. You have hurt him and you need to mend a few bridges, but as long as you make him see how much you love him, it should be ok in the end.
2006-09-26 04:32:52 · answer #6 · answered by Emma W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Purdy, I have read your other questions and answered some. It seems to me that you need some help for yourself. Your questions are about your relationship and point to the fact that you are not happy in it and you are asking whether to finish it or not (not directly). In this one you are worried he will leave you. Are you playing games with all of us who are trying to help you? I hope not as there are some genuine people, like me, on here. I think you need to sort yourself out before you ask any more questions. Or maybe you are just doing it for the hell of it. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but something is not right here. I notice that you never answer questions?
2006-09-26 04:42:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well how would you feel if your partner went off talking to his female friends about the problems ye were having?
He has every right to be hurt and upset.
2006-09-26 04:57:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
is this male friend one of your other half close friend .men dont understand that women need to talk to people other than their partners sometimes .you should confide in your partner more and be open if you want the relationship to work .we always worry how someone will react but its best that they know the truth .ignore this other person you tried to talk to him and he just used your weakness to his advantage
2006-09-26 04:35:12 · answer #9 · answered by sweetie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made a mistake. You should have discussed your problems with your partner first. Apologise to your partner straightaway. Reassure him of your commitment and care. But if it was some problem that you could not discuss with your partner then tell him so. Don't be afraid.
2006-09-26 04:37:48 · answer #10 · answered by yuvan53 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think your boy friend shoud be understanding to you, It should wake him up a bit, he should realise that if you have an argument, that there are plenty of other men out there, not saying that you want to go out with other men, but that your boyfriend should realise you have other options. I think you should tell him to forget about this other guy, he isn't worth it, He should concentrate on you, and sorting your problems out.
2006-09-26 05:15:45 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋