Truth be known, ive been cheating on ALL of my (ex) bfs & now my husband, with this one guy (ONE GUY ONLY) whos 32 yrs my senior, im only 24. Ive been f***ing him for 4 yrs now. Now im pregnant w/ his child, my husband hasnt a single clue hes too excited w/ the whole 'starting a family' crap.
I havent told my lover about the baby. How would he react? When we started out he was maried with kids (now divorced), & now I married a guy millions times richer than him am i still considered his mistress? Should i divorced my husband or just let this slide? What if my husband got into contacts w/ my ex bfs? One of them caught us in bed & practically went outta his mind, the other gave Mark, my lover, a shiner for a week.
What should i do now? No degoratory remarks plz. I desperately need help!?
2006-09-25 21:11:58 · 47 answers · asked by meikon80 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
abortion is outta the question since my husband found out just last week Its too late. Besides, thats the baby of the ONE guy i trul;y love
2006-09-25 21:15:32 · update #1
I thought about letting it slide but considering my lover is an ethnic Chinese (Me & my husband both white) thats not possible, the child will grow up looking like his *real* Chinese father
2006-09-25 21:19:36 · update #2
I dont want to 'save my marriage', i want a divorce. I just dont know how to tell my husband (& my lover in that matter), hes rich & gorgeous w/ a heart of gold. I just dont know how to tell both of them?
2006-09-25 21:24:41 · update #3
Since you keep cheating with the same guy, perhaps you should just start a relationship with him.
This sort of resembles Carrie in Sex & The City.
She was crazy about Mr. Big but had other boyfriends and she cheated on Adam with Mr. Big and then she ended up with Mr. Big.
So why don't you skip to the point?
Figure out how you really feel about your husband and this other guy. Find out who you love. And if you don't love either, perhaps it would be better if you just got out of the relationships and had some serious time to yourself. You need to get in tune with what you want.
Then talk to the guy and your husband.
Figure out who you want to be with, or who you don't want to be with.
And i want you to know that money doesn't matter.
As long as you're happy with the person you're with, you can get through anything.
And no, you're not a mistress.
He's actually your Mister, lol.
But in all seriousness, you need to figure out what the hell you want to do.
Talk to Mark. He has a right to know about you guys' baby.
Talk to your husband.
Talk to yourself and figure out what you want to do.
And then just do it.
Don't waste time.
Having a child is a huge responsibility so figure out your life somewhat before he comes into the world.
2006-09-25 21:17:55 · answer #1 · answered by falzalnz 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that your self centered and think only of yourself! Twice you repeated he has money who cares. Now it's not about you it's about your child and you should of thought about that if you play you will pay in the end. Be honest before it's too late tell your husband you want a divorce and explain that you cheated on him and that the baby is not his and let him start coping with that pain your about to put him through. Then tell your lover it is his kid. And if they both dump you well deal with it and hopefully you will raise that child with love and enough to learn to respect himself and teach the child that it's not ok to cheat on someone you love. sounds like you have a lot of growing up to do with all these ex boyfriends and a lover and your married it's really nothing to brag about go get help serious. but since your married your husband has the right to know first he is not the father and tell him soon don't let months go by letting him think he is, that is even colder then the fact you have been cheating on him and it is not his but making him wait is just mean cause he will get closer to the child and it will make that pain worse by far. Then when that is done and you move out then tell your lover he is that father and deal with that suituation. And get some self respect and grow up your about to become a mother. Good luck.
2006-09-25 23:03:05 · answer #2 · answered by hubbys2ndbest2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whatever happens, you deserve it and I actually hope your husband divorces you and get you out of his life.How can you ask if you should divorce your husband or JUST LET IT SLIDE? I mean, how can you let it slide when you are the quilty one!You should hope your HUSBAND lets it slide or get divorced(Sounds like you are very keen to get divorced)Before you get married, you should be sure you will be faithful to your spouse. By the sounds of it, you can never be faithful, even if you are married.Dont do anything stupid to the poor baby, he/she didnt ask to be here and the baby is completely innocent. Tell your husband about ypur affair, tell your loverabout the baby and just take each day as it comes. Your husband will be angry and he has every right to be.So take on the quilt and accept what you have done.You are a selfish self absorbed person saying that you cant have an abortion, because your husband already knows you are pregnant and he will find out the baby isn't his, because he/she will be chinese- How about saying that you cant do that, because you are not a murderer and you love your baby. Sounds like you would've done it if that was an option. I hope your husband divorces you and your baby's father leaves you- you deserve it. You should be really really ashamed of yourself!
2006-09-25 21:35:01 · answer #3 · answered by Jade22 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You are in your twenties, certainly old enough to know how to use birth control and you are on an open forum, talking about cheating on your husband ( and it sounds like you married him for his money) and you don't want anyone to make derogatory remarks..... You cheated with a married man, there are just no words to even give you in this situation: even if he is divorced now; you are married. Your life is a soap opera, young lady and you need to start getting yourself a new script, because the one you are living is beyond belief. If you decide to have the baby, you should give it up for adoption, as you are not able to conduct yourself as a responsible adult and certainly cannot be a parent. You are a sad and sorry person and I pity your poor husband most of all. I'll say a prayer for all of you, you are going to need all the help you can get.
2006-09-25 21:26:54 · answer #4 · answered by Sue F 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well....the question here is who do you really love? sort it out...next, you can never correct a mistake with another mistake....better tell the whole truth to your husband and be prepared of the consequences....he is still your husband and to be honest would be the kindest thing you could do to him. I think the time has come for you to CHANGE! it's difficult at first but you got to consider that the longer you prolong these cheatings...your unfaithfulness....the more people will suffer because of YOU! confront the matter first to your husband....then if he really loves you no matter what you have been in the past he can forgive you and start a new life.....next to the father of the child...he deserves to know it since he is the biological father, he has a lawful right. I'll pray for you though! be tough to face these things.....the sooner the better!
2006-09-25 22:45:46 · answer #5 · answered by maic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need help alright.You are beneath contempt.
There is nothing that will help a person like you.
Its really to bad your husband met you. No person deserves the pain you are about to inflict simply because you are a liar and cheat. You need to level with both guys and soon. You will get that divorce you want and then live a lonely life on the support of the other guy. He deserves to pay for this child as punishment for ruining your husband's marriage anyway. You deserve loneliness because you cannot understand love.
2006-09-25 23:18:23 · answer #6 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well this is a mess Hun huh. perhaps marriage was not the right thing for you as you seem to have issues with commitment but no lectures needed here as you have had the balls to be totally honest and asked for help and for that I take my hat of to you for.i would not think for one min your hubby would get intouch with your ex BF`s , why would he unless you gave him reason to. How can you be sure this child is not your husbands is my main question, you already know the answer to your problem hun without asking. i could tell you what you want to hear but that would not help you. the answer here is be honest. you may lose your husband, you may lose your lover and be left alone with a child. BUT you can hold your head up high knowing that you have come clean and start again a fresh. you may be lucky and one of them stick by you. perhaps go and see someone hun and find out why you have such major commitment issues. many would dismiss you as a tart, a selfish one at that, but in my experience people with your personality usually have a deep seeted reason for the way they behave.Deal with the issue and fix the problem then you can finally find the happiness you are so obviously craving and trying to find in these men.
the first thing to do is find out whos this baby is, and go from there. this is not going to be an easy ride for you hun, but be strong and do the right thing here.then you will find the happiness you so desperatley desire.
2006-09-25 21:21:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with your future child, your husband, your lover and yourself! too many people you're cheating, that will not just go in past it will be with you always. It's a right of 3 more person, to know the truth, you can't ruin their lives just by being a part of it. Definitely tell the truth! What your life would be if you have to lie to your own child, I'm not telling about your men. Or if you can sleep after it all you can imitate a miscarriage and keep being a...you probalbly guess who.
2006-09-25 21:32:11 · answer #8 · answered by Preciosa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, from the start you shouldn't be cheating on your husband.. If you don't love him then why you married him?.. And are you definitely sure the baby's father is not your husband?.. If sure you have to make your decision now, thinking if you keep lying to your husband the baby is his then oneday if he find out the truth, what will happen to the baby?.. If your lover is truly love you and want to have a family with you, what would you do?.. At least this is a real family.. But if he don't want to be together with you, will you still attach to him?.. If your husband doesn't mind the baby is not belong to him and willing to accept the baby as his own child then why not give it a start all over again?.. Concentrate on your family and stop all your bad behaviour to make sure you have happiness with your husband.. Good Luck..
2006-09-25 21:27:43 · answer #9 · answered by Vt Beauty 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
actually, if i were you, i don't care if my husband is a million-times richer than your bf (i mean the father of your child). listen to your heart first, we're you really f***king with him or made love? come on girl, you know who you love most. if you love your bf more than your husband then there's no point in living together and being married if you continuously cheated on him. if you want to save your marriage then go ahead and tell your husband the truth, confess everything and promise you will never cheat on him again (that if he would take the baby also), but if not, then file a divorce and live with your bf... basically thats all i have to say.
2006-09-25 21:18:40 · answer #10 · answered by tikla79 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋