I have been married for almost 10 years now, we have 3 children together and have been together pretty much most of our adults lives. The whole time we have been married, there has always been "issues". If he is not using some type of drug, then its problems with him holding down a job!! I love him with my WHOLE heart, but I feel like I have to draw the line somewhere. I have let him steal from me, and my family. I have stood behind him no matter what he has done, mostly for our kids. He is a great daddy, and I dont know if I can take them away from him. My heart hurts for me... but mostly for them. Do you think enough is enough?
2006-09-25 20:45:41 · 16 answers · asked by outofanswers2056 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ahh..wait
2006-09-25 20:47:42 · answer #1 · answered by Busy Diyosa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry harsh words here - you say "hes a great Daddy" - after you have said - if hes not using some type of drug - or holding down a job - and he steals from you? how does this make him a great Daddy? because you have protected that side of him from your children and they only see the smilie Daddy who plays with them? hes not a good role model and isn't reliable at all, you seem to be keeping everything together including him and I would have said enough was enough less than 10 years down the line. Have you ever confronted him and told him you have had enough or have you just put up with all this? he has no respect for you by the sounds of it and seen as you have held it together then theres no reason why you shouldn't if he wasn't around or you need to make him leave so he can prove to you he can be responsible again and only when hes done this then allow him back.
2006-09-25 20:52:53 · answer #2 · answered by kinnoishere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is stealing from you and your family and is using drugs.....how can you say that he is a "good" Daddy? A good Father would not do those things and if you think your children don't know or won't in the future find out...than there is a problem with you. He can still be a good every other weekend Father. You need to take control of the situation and put your foot down. Enough is enough....don't stand for it....if not for yourself, do it for your children.
2006-09-25 20:49:45 · answer #3 · answered by Nicky 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I scrolled through the answers you got, and the person that suggested Al Anon was right on. I grew up in a family like that, I also work as a paramedic and I can tell you he is chemically dependent. His behavior is classic, he drags everyone around him down into his personal little hell. And because you care for him, and try to "fix" his messes, you are also what they call an "enabler". This is someone, when trying to "help", only ends up assisting that person to continue life as they know it, to use, thereby constantly messing up their lives. You both need to go to Al Anon. If he won't go, you go. I promise you will gain insight and get some ideas on what to do next. Once you do that, other answers may come to you. Good luck, stay strong.
2006-09-26 02:30:15 · answer #4 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does his bahaviour teach your children? They may not know about it now, but never underestimate what children pick up.
When they are teenagers they will learn how to be by looking at their parents. What will they think is right? What will they learn is acceptable? Will they think its ok to marry people who take drugs and steal? Which they learn self respect and self esteem? Will they be emotionally balanced? Will they think they deserve someone better then Mummy did, or will they think if its ok for mummy then its ok for us? Great Daddys teach their children how to respect their mummies and other people. They teach them right from wrong. Its ok to love someone without liking them, but you have to put your children first. Maybe it will be the wakeup call your husband needs. Enough is enough.
2006-09-25 20:50:49 · answer #5 · answered by michelle a 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion would be some sort of counseling for the two of you. I am having issues with my bf right now... serious issues. I love him with everything that i am. You have to find a good counselor/therepast that specializes in the sort of problem you are dealing with. If that doesn't work out for you, then maybe it's time you reconsidered your marriage. I know what kind of position you're in first hand and i wish you the best. :)
2006-09-25 20:49:49 · answer #6 · answered by foto_faerie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry.. only you can decide that. I will say that i stayed for 10 years longer than i wanted "for the kids" all that did was teach my kids that dad's behavior was ok... when actually it was not ok. Been separated 2 years i love it.. best decision that Ive made in the last 20 years (was married 19 years) i feel like myself again.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
2006-09-25 20:51:22 · answer #7 · answered by sweetsal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do think enough is enough, but that does not have to mean divorce. Offer him help, such as counseling (marriage and/or individual), getting into NA or AA, etc. Give him a timeline to get over these things. Your kids do not need to be in this environment. You deserve better for you and your children.
2006-09-25 20:50:58 · answer #8 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really think your kids will not know what's going on (if they don't know already)?
So...how exactly is he being a good daddy when he is setting that sort of example for them?
Get out, get out, get out, and take your kids with you. The sooner you, them, and the rest of your family is away from him, the better.
2006-09-25 21:04:44 · answer #9 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do your kids deserve a drug abusing thief of a father that can not provide for them and only thinks about his own destructive needs and desires
2006-09-26 01:26:56 · answer #10 · answered by idtshadow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes enough is enough A drug marriage never makes it and ythe children suffer dump him and get a man to treat you right there are such men in the world You stand behind him and you will be left behind wise up
2006-09-25 20:50:50 · answer #11 · answered by .................................... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋