i am tired of forgiving my hubby losing his temper at small things and getting wild at me. i used to think that many males are like that and women are supposed to be forgiving. but now i cant stop feeling scared when next he would go wild and beat me. if i leave him, would that nopt affect my daughters future?wat wud she say when sum1 asked her about her dad?
2006-09-25 19:56:06 · 11 answers · asked by smiling_smiles2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
nothing in life is perfect or easy--i would worry more about my daughter living a happy healthy life free from abuse and harm---sometimes we have to weigh the situation and although no choice is perfect or without some type of sacrifice, i would always choose on the side of my children---because we are the caretakers and protectors----children come first
2006-09-25 19:59:12 · answer #1 · answered by darkangel1111 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't t just think about your kid's future. think about yours, too. no one has the right to hurt anyone, not even a husband to a wife.
yes, if your kid grows up without a dad, that will sure have a different effect on her. every kid needs a dad figure. but if that dad figure is all about hurting his wife and beating her, i don't think that the kid would need to see that and live by that example. i also don't think that the mom should suffer. there is no way one should get hurt. marriage is supposed to be about love not fights.
if somebody asks her about her dad, she should say the truth. so what if people find out that her dad is a bad dad who beats her mom? it's not the kid's fault. she should not be ashamed of anything for she didn't do anything bad at all.
good luck.
2006-09-25 20:01:34 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying in an abusive relationship, whether it be physical or emotional, is not good for your daughter.
If you leave, your daughter will still need to see her dad unless you can prove to a court's satisfaction that he can't be trusted with her.
What would she say when someone asks? How about her parents couldn't live together anymore. Children with separated/divorced parents is very common these days.
2006-09-25 20:00:08 · answer #3 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling, having your daughters grow-up in such a situation/atmosphere can be more affecting to their futures then to be a single parent. Seeing their father beat their mom can make them think or believe that it is ok for males to be dominant over females and also they may think it is ok for males to beat females (physically, emotionally, and verbally). Think about their futures, you may too don't want them to experience such situation as yours.
If you're worried about being a single parent and about how they will explain about their father why he isn't around when they grew up, its really up to you how you will explain to them.
I know how it feels to be in your situation. My first husband was just like yours and we have a daughter together I was just like you, thought it was ok to be forgiving but I realize if I continued our relationship it will affect my daughter. So I decided to separate him and now it seems better cause we all have peace of mind and I know my daughter will grow up much better now because of the love I show her.
Anyway, think about what really is best for your daughters and for yourself as well. Take care.
2006-09-25 20:10:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i to am a single mother i think it would affect your kids future no matter what you do the thing to remember is to always have a positive outlook on life and to be a great roll model if you put up a negative outlook then yeah your kids will have just that i always try to remember that my kids come first no matter what i've done pretty good i always think twice now that i am alone never take to many risky chances like the saying goes life is what u make it good luck to u and ur kids
2006-09-25 20:04:49 · answer #5 · answered by murkymom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Separation will affect her life. The beatings you have been getting must be affecting her as well. Her future will no doubt be affected, how so, it is not easy to determine at this juncture, but it is not very likely to be positive. You will have rid yourself of a problem but it will deny her the paternal part of parental care. Get your hubby to see a councellor.
2006-09-25 20:02:48 · answer #6 · answered by kombo6m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave. She will be better off. If you stay she will think that men are supposed to beat her. Get away while you can. And she will have to either lie or tell the truth about her father when she grows up.
2006-09-25 19:58:54 · answer #7 · answered by Dr. Feel Realgood 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up with separated parents.It wasn't hard for me to accept that fact cause my mom gave her all love and support for me. Her love is enough to look for my dad's care. although it is better to grow up with complete family but your case is not advisable to stay with your hubby. He must respect and love you and not beat you like a punching bag. Your kids also affects the fact that their mom is beating by their dad. Their respect for their dad might lose and it will give them psychological effects like scared and phobia tic experience.
2006-09-25 20:04:46 · answer #8 · answered by ress 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
living as a single parent is hard . i have been there . some times getting a divorce is the best for the child .. if he is losing his temper with you , I'm guessing , that is also true for the child.if you do divorce the dad . -----do not -please -do not . tell your child -bad- things about her dad . and if some one ask her ,about her dad . she can say mom and dad got a divorce . and i still love both of them. and they both still love me.
2006-09-25 20:11:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is abusing you it's has already effected your daughter in someway. the future will take care of itself.don't be afraid to leave him in order to have a better life for you and your daughter..
2006-09-26 00:54:54 · answer #10 · answered by ladybug 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋