as in feeling achingly uncomfortable being hugged or pat on the back or even stood too close to.
emotional intimacy and/or conversation don't seem to be an issue. it's more like an aversion to physical proximity.
cause for concern or just a goofy quirk?
2006-09-25 19:26:29 · 14 answers · asked by pyg 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Its probably just being like a whole lot of other people are - not wanting just any-old-body hugging you or otherwise putting their mitts on you and certainly not getting into your "space bubble" (that imaginary bubble every normal person puts around himself that has to do with how much space he wants around him without anyone in it).
Many people just want to choose who they let into their "space bubble", and if they're not in a romantic relationship that means they have nobody in their life that they want in their space bubble. If they have a boyfriend or girlfriend but don't like them too near them then its the wrong boyfriend or girlfriend).
These days people are led to believe that anything is supposed to go when it comes to who touches whom or not limiting the number of people someone gets too close to, but the reality is that is can be very normal to not want people touching you or near you unless they're one of a very few people you feel like being near or hugging.
People from some backgrounds (families with roots in England, Ireland, Scotland, for example) are more reticent about physical closeness than people from some other cultures - but that's just how it is.
I don't know how extreme this is for you, but I wouldn't be surprised if it isn't even a goofy quirk. It may just be normal. I wouldn't worry about it unless you have some romantic partner that you'd like to be close to but can't be. If you just don't want other people's mitts on you willy-nilly and without invitation and aren't a big fan of hugs from any-old-body, there's nothing wrong with that.
It doesn't have to have anything to do with any kind of trauma or horrible thing that's gone in someone's life. It doesn't have to have anything to do with fear of intimacy or anything else. It can just be being selective about who gets to put their mitts on you. People who have no idea that they should respect a space bubble or keep their mitts to themselves are exactly the people you probably don't want near you because they don't even consider that you may not want them touching you! It is entirely normal for a person to expect the right to choose who gets to touch them and who doesn't. I think it has to do with self-respect and expecting respect from other people.
2006-09-25 19:48:48 · answer #1 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I don't know. I do know that you would have a hard time living in my home. I try to touch everyone in family, skin to skin everyday. This may mean I pat your head or hand. Give you a peck on the cheek. Something. I just don't think it is right for a person to live in a house with three other people and not be touched.
2006-09-25 19:36:12 · answer #2 · answered by Vonnie Dee 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's a cause for concern if it is a problem all the time with everyone. For one thing, it will severely limit your sex life. lol It can also push away people who want to be supportive to you. I have gone through times when I hated being touched by almost everyone and even with those who could still touch me, I limited the types of contact. For me it was part of a healing process and a way of taking back control of my body. I have friends who don't like being touched and it doesn't seem to be a problem for them. I guess it's like most things: it's not a problem unless it's a problem.
2006-09-25 19:34:03 · answer #3 · answered by Kuji 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, I think it does have to do with how we are raised. Were we hugged and loved as a child etc. Everything we learn, we learn from those whom we are around. Therefore, if we are taught that touching is an uncomfortable thing, then chances are, we will not grow up being too fond of it.
2006-09-25 19:35:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
actual, if i become a woman, i does no longer unquestionably like having them, they're a undertaking and paintings and effective get interior the way lots. the only reason i might have them is to get what i want (beverages, activity, interest, unfastened journey residing house, etc) wish all is going properly
2016-10-17 23:56:48 · answer #5 · answered by corl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just have spacial issues....
and goofy quirk? yes
everyone has little things like that about them
it's such things that give people their special traits..
muahahahahaha
2006-09-29 14:03:59 · answer #6 · answered by Kc 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
In most kids I have worked with that is a classical symptom of past abuse or sexual assault or molestation they experienced at a young age. It also can come from 'attactment disorder" like some kids who have some autuistic features get, and these can be like regular kids with only a trace of it. Sometimes it comes from a really bad family system where your parents were not loving enough when you were a baby.
If nothing was that extreme it comes from a fear of intimacy, closeness, or not wanting to get too close to people.
If it's not really bad you will get over it, but you may want to try going for counseling if it significantly interfers with your life.
2006-09-25 19:37:31 · answer #7 · answered by inzaratha 6 · 6⤊ 4⤋
I hate to be touched unless it's someone I trust 100%. It started when I was raped as a child.
2006-09-25 19:31:24 · answer #8 · answered by sweetgurl13069 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋
It depends on who it is... if I want to touch the person, then I love touch... If I do not want to touch that person, then I hate them touching me, and do not want it AT ALL!!
I have had no traumatic experience in my past.
2006-09-25 19:35:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Does it matter who is hugging you? If you are really concerned, maybe talk to a counsellor, Dr. or such.
2006-09-25 19:34:21 · answer #10 · answered by Nick 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋