I have always fantisized sexually about various girls but have only lived out the fantasy once last year. Im 24 and have two children to my ex partner. I now have a boyfriend and have been seeing him for over a year but I seem to only get turned on during sex if I think about girls. The thing is, I dont feel 'lesbian'. I cant imagine having a relationship with a girl or ever falling in love with a girl. It seems to be only a sexual attraction. Am I Bi? or Am I a lesbian that has gotten used to having relationships with men?
2006-09-25 19:10:56 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
By the way, I enjoyed the experience with the girl that I had sex with and dont think I can go the rest of my life without ever being with a girl again, however I love my boyfriend! Im so confused!
2006-09-25 19:13:14 · update #1
I have spoken to my boyfriend about this, at first he encouraged me to be sexual with girls if thats what felt right, but he gradually got jellous and it got to the point where I told him it was just a phase I was going through... He thinks its all in the past. I know I have to talk to him again about this bcoz I tried to get over it but clearly this is not just a phase...
2006-09-25 19:30:49 · update #2
I think you are definitely bisexual ..whether you are a lesbian or not I don't know. I don't know what feeling lesbian means. I'm a gay man and I don't feel 'gay'--it's just who I am. We come in all types and sizes...but the fact that you only get turned on sexually when you think about girls makes me think that you probably lean more toward being a lesbian than you know...Whatever..enjoy.
You know I was with a woman for many years and I loved her..She left me..and sometime after that I came out as a gay man..but I still loved her and always will. Love is a complicated multidimensional thing..it's not an on/off switch..black or white. being gay or lesbian means who you are sexually attracted to...not necessarily who you love.
2006-09-25 19:15:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I doubt if you are a Lesbian. However you are definitely a bisexual who sexually responds to women more than men.
If you are not responding sexually to your partner, even though you love him, he is not the right partner. Sexual attraction when you love someone is part of the whole package, its not an afterthought. I would suggest you keep looking for the who is the whole package, male or female.
You are quite young (from my ancient perspective) and you are supposed to be trying on new things and figuring them out. Perhaps you just haven't met the right Lesbians and are put off by certain Lesbian culture, but not others. Could you imagine loving and living forever with someone like yourself, even if it was a woman? If so,, then that's the kind of person you need to look for.
If you commit to any relationship, you promise to be monogamous in most cases. Everyone gives up something in that situation, but your sexual satisfaction shouldn't be it and that is simply a recipe for failure.
Take some time to figure out who you are and what you want out of life. Good luck to you.
2006-09-26 02:02:34 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello - i think you might be bi - maybe you have a friend you can take in your confidence and see what they think. You just might have to work this out either with your boyfriend or if you do not want him to find out then hopefully your friend you have taken into your confidence with. Again it just could be a sexual attraction.
2006-09-25 19:20:21 · answer #3 · answered by Peter B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah you good be Bi. If it's something you don't want to miss out on then you should ask him if it's okay if every now and then you sleep with a girl. Most men i know would soon get over any jealousy, he has to understand that you love him.
2006-09-25 20:43:59 · answer #4 · answered by angelic_devil30 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible that you indeed are a lesbian who has infact simply gotten used to having intimate relationships with men.
It could also be possible that you're simply bi-curious, or you could be bisexual or even a lesbian.
Only you can answer that, and guess what, it's OK if it changes as you grow and learn more about yourself as a person.
I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "I don't FEEL lesbian."
I mean, what exactly does being a lesbian FEEL like? Aren't we all still females? Aren't we all sexual human beings?
I know I'm a lesbian leaning bisexual woman. I am currently and have been for the past ten years, in a long-term, committed relationship with another woman. I don't think I ever thought about whether or not I could fall in love with a woman. I knew I was sexually attracted to women as well as men, so the whole love thing just kind of fell into place when I found a person whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I didn't actively go looking to fall in love. I just did.
Love happens.
There's this one basher who frequents this catagory. She's actually accused gays/lesbians of not ever actually loving their partners. That shocked the hell out of me simply because I have never looked at loving relationships with so much hate in my heart.
Her argument was that relationships between gays/lesbians are solely based on sex. That just made me not only angry at her for saying such a hateful thing, but saddened that she has so much hate in her heart that she can't imagine anyone different than her being able to actually love another human being.
I'm sorry, but you don't choose which gender your life partner is. As I stated before, Love happens.
I fell in love with my partner well before ever calling her "my partner." We were "seeing each other" or "dating" but I would never have called her my partner unless we actually had love between us.
It's that love that not only keeps us together, but forces us to WANT to care about and for each other. It's that Love that bonds us as one unit, that has one goal and that's to grow strong together, and to grow old together and to share life together, and explore experiences and knowledge and tenderness and joys and sorrows and hardships and all that goes with a loving relationship.
I can't imagine going through life without sharing it with her or her with me. I can't imagine anyone else I'd rather spend my life with, grow old with, rejoyce in our job as parents with, feel the pain of loss of loved ones with, argue with, be silly with...etc.
I didn't choose to love her, I just did...and do...and will....
2006-09-25 19:18:24 · answer #5 · answered by DEATH 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have that too.
It's good because gender won't be a barrier to you falling in love if you like both.
So your soul mate could be a guy or a gal.... aw.....
Now you can worry about meeting the right PERSON, not the right man or woman.
2006-09-25 20:30:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if truth study, like maximum adult men you merely opt to work out 2 women making out. It has no longer something to do with straight away women because you do not choose something to do with them (and/or they don't choose something to do with you. Am I generalizing? No, i'm merely speaking from my adventure.
2016-12-02 02:08:26 · answer #7 · answered by romine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel! I feel the same way. But I think we could be bi.
2006-09-25 19:13:33 · answer #8 · answered by Kelly J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yup ... I think it's time to start shopping for that strap-on.
2006-09-25 19:31:51 · answer #9 · answered by Sam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's because women are way more beautiful, sensual and sexy than men.
2006-09-25 19:28:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋