me and my hubby r short tempered. the style of his criticizing me starts from dirty language and shoutings. when he does this, i keep my patience for sum 15-20 mins. n if hez still on, and its not my fault, i wanna defend, and when i start defending, he grows wild. on sunday, he lost his temper and beat me for an hour. he is fat and strong, the way he beats it really hurts. that too i nfront of my kid. he then realises his mistake and tries to take me to lunch and buy me stuff. still ioif i feel little bad and am unbable to come out of it, coz i am physically and mentally hurt, he loses his temper again. he insulted me, my parents, and beat me o nthe road, pinched me and asked me to say sorry or else he cud do anything. it wasnt big fault. but i was so badly hurt, i said him sorry. he then stopped. bought me and my kid icecream.cried a little and said that he cant control his temper.so i shudnt provoke him and argue with him. nor make silly mistakes.this hapns every 15days.wat do i do?
2006-09-25 18:57:39 · 31 answers · asked by smiling_smiles2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my hubby told me that if i left him, he wud not give me kid watever happened. he cud do anything for it. i am very worried of my kid.
2006-09-25 19:09:55 · update #1
Go to a women's shelter right away. They will help to protect you and your child from him. They are very familiar with your situation. If you give your area I can look one up for you.
2006-09-25 19:00:31 · answer #1 · answered by Lord_Tyveris 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
well you could do a few different things here. you can tell him you love him and you want him to get help and take anger management classes and if that dont work well make sure you document everything he does to you take pictures and write down date it happened on and weather the child was present or not when it happened. then get a restraining order against him and leave before next time he ends up going too far cause he cannot control himself and you or your child end up dead. Him telling you he wont let you have child is his way of keeping control of you think about it would the courts really let a abusing husband/father keep his child? Don't let this man get in your head like that he is only sorry until the next time remember that. Good Luck. God Bless
2006-09-26 06:30:45 · answer #2 · answered by hubbys2ndbest2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you're not gonna take all this advice right away but I'm sure that next time something happens (if you make it out alive) you'll remember.. and do the right thing for you and your child. I guess if you have the marks, blood or bruises or at least some sort of physical evidence that proves this is what he done.. go to the police, call the police, get help right away. They'll send you to a women's shelter, or even let you go back home while he's in jail. If he isnt hitting your child, HE WILL eventually. You DONT want it to go that far. In fact.. he's mentally abusing the child right now by making him watch the terrible things that daddy is doin to mommy. There are all kinds of programs and help out there for women and children in your situation, its up to you to protect yourself.. but mostly to protect your child. Please get help before its too late.
2006-09-26 02:23:14 · answer #3 · answered by spurdom28 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take your kid and yourself and haul it out of there. He is a CLASSIC emotional/physical abuser, and not only will he not stop he will get worse. He acts nice so you won't run, then when he figures that you've relaxed your guard he goes back to beating him. More likely than not, the beatings will grow worse, and your child will be his next target.
It is not your fault that he doesn't control his temper. I'm not saying you're a saint, but that doesn't give him an excuse to beat you. People make mistakes and they argue - but when they take it to the point of violence, that is abuse and assault.
Think about the kind of example that the two of you are setting for your child. Do you want your kid growing up to be abused, or to be an abuser? Because he (or she) is going to grow up thinking this is NORMAL, that it's ACCEPTABLE, unless you take get them out of that situation. Stop the cycle now, before it goes on to another generation.
2006-09-26 02:09:11 · answer #4 · answered by triviatm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know I didn't even have to finish reading your question after your first sentence. Guess what, your child pays. You and your husband are supposed to be your child's rock. What example are you setting for your child. Is that how you want your son to treat another person? Do you want your child to have no respect for other people. We live in a country with opportunities. You have places to go, money to make. Get off your *** and make changes. The place that your in is your choice. You have the power to change it. You are responsible for your child to have a stable, loving and safe life.What are you doing that gives him that. An unhappy wife is an unhappy mom. I highly suggest you stand up for yourself and get the hell out. Even if that requires police to be involved. I am not saying your husband is a bad man, but you are giving him the power to control you. You are human and you deserve respect. It seems you are afraid to speak up because of his temper. I would have a plan. You live in America, other women around the world don't have an opportunity like you have. Get help in your area before it gets out of hand. Take control of your life. Demand respect. He is in control now. you are his little puppet. Are you happy? Don't waste your time on Ask.com, while you could be researching a number to call for battered woman. Stop making excuses and take control of your life. Good luck, and God help you. I will be praying for you.
2006-09-26 02:16:59 · answer #5 · answered by sal77 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know your husbands condition so i cant advice you that way. Example would taking his meds regularly before his attacks stop this behavior? If so then he must adhere to his doctors orders.
In any situation your and your children's safety comes first. If it has to do with time than move out til his situation improves for the better. Usually I am for a couple to stay together. Something that attracted you to him must have been there in the beginning but safety first.
If the situation doesn't change and you and your children are in danger stay away from him.
2006-09-26 02:09:42 · answer #6 · answered by art m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want that kind of life for yourself and your family? When are u going to stop fooling yourself and get help? If my ex had hit me even once---that would of been IT! And he knew that. No matter how angry, sometimes with good cause, he never, never hit me. You owe it to yourself.. You are NOT a doormat, well, are you? How much are u going to take? Isn't your life worth anything? There are places where u can go and take your children(if u have any). Does he need Anger Management classes? Take a Stand - Don't take this lying down!!!!
2006-09-26 02:07:36 · answer #7 · answered by regwoman123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And this is happening in front of your child? Not good. Get out now and find a women's shelter. Your first priority is your kid as this is not a healthy environment for a child to be in. Then, call the police and file assault charges on him. U have to do it right away before u end up worst off than u are now.
2006-09-26 02:06:27 · answer #8 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have options you know, like divorcing him. Go to a lawyer and divorce him. Go to the police and get a restraining order. You ask a question before which indicates that you have a job and that is good. I hope you know what to do now.
PS: Or take your kids to grannys', get your husband drunk and get him naked, tie him up in his lazy chair, put an OPEN HOUSE sign in front of your house and leave the door wide open. Leave and don't look back.
2006-09-26 02:07:28 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two "supposedly" grown adults,and a child in between seeing it all-the child would be my first priority to make safe,you can sort yourself out,there is plenty of help out there for you.If i was in any position of authority,the child would be my first concern.Between the two of you,this kids life must be unbearable-what quality of life has this kid got with two "short tempered" adults always fussing and fighting between themselves...none.Get rid of this idiot hubby of yours,get some anger management/temper skills started,then start working on your childs childhood-which,because of the incessant fighting going on,he/she is missing out on...BADLY.
2006-09-26 04:07:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
look in the phone under Battered Women or Domestic Abuse hot lines..they will help you and fight for your right to keep the kids..no family court would give the kids to him, if you are not around he would start in on them. Run, run as fast as you can any where away from him..It is not your fault. Call now.
2006-09-26 02:28:11 · answer #11 · answered by jst4pat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋