Should I have a separate bank account?

Question

I am thinking of getting a separate bank account where my wife doesn't see nor know about it. I plan on using this money for x-mas or what not. I have also had to borrow money from my parents and it seems my wife doesn't handle money to well. I figure if I can get money saved then next time my wife says we have no money and she has me ask my parents I can just get the money from that account and then have it payed back. This would save face with my parents. My dad said I can send the statements to his house or I can get a PO box.

What should I do?

Reading your answers help one more note. She did this to me and we had the extra money during the holidays. I was surprised but the kids got some cool stuff.

Oh I had to ask for money because we got hit with a huge electric bill and it through us into a hole.

Answer 1

I say why not? You are still an individual and this is not a deception since it may be to her advantage (pleasant surprises at Christmas, relief from any unexpected money problems?)....I have a boyfriend who is not good with money and after 5 years of an otherwise honest and happy relationship, I simply accept that he is not best suited to help take care of our financial situations. He is good at other things as I am sure your wife is, so let it be. If it is ever found out, you can be truthful at that point, since your intentions are good anyway.

Answer 2

First off.......be honest with your wife!!! Most marriages have three bank accounts HIS, HERS AND THEIRS and it works out great. If you know that your wife isnt' good with the money, that's ok, you handle the major finances and bill paying, but give her some money that she can splurge with. Don't for any reason hide the fact that you want a separate account and have it sent to your deds house, that's just inviting anger, resentment and mistrust into your marriage and I doubt you want this. Secondly, tell your wife that the days of you asking your parents for money for her to spend is OVER OVER OVER. Your wife would know that she's hopeless with finances and you need to set boundaries as a couple concerning your money. But whatever you do, don't do what your dad suggested, it's only asking for trouble and she will find out sooner or later and boy, I'd hate to be in your shoes, lying and hiding, deceiving the wife, regardless of how it was meant.

Answer 3

you need to close the account ,you now have . talk to your wife , just tell her .she is not doing well handling the money. so you are going to open an account . and take care of it your self . you can give her money she -needs- . if you would take a book .and wright down. every dime you spend . you could see where , the money is going and for what . i mean candy / gas / lunch/ every thing .wright it down. you will be surprised. how much. money you spend on that soda or the coffee in the morning. grab your coffee or soda be for you leave the house . for the 2 of you . it would save you . about 60 or 70 dollars a month.

Answer 4

Yikes! A separate bank account is the prelude to a separation. If the wife can not "handle" money well, you must handle it. No credit cards for her either. Is this the woman you want to mother your future children? Yikes!
If you're taking $ from your parents perhaps both of you are too young and immature to be married. Your Dads advice is a fast track to divorce....a PO box? How many secrets will you have from your wife? How many should she have from you? Lies and secrets do not build a healthy marriage.
Your relationship is in deep trouble and money is the least of your worries!

Answer 5

Find the time to discuss this away from the kids. try not to borrow from your parents.you guys need to learn how to get out of a jam on your own..its called maturity and learning how to be responsible. i know because this has happened to me and i hated it.so we work out our bills in priority.you and your wife should manage your finances together and talk to her about any spending habits. don't get a separate account in secret, that is disrespectful and your not solving anything just making more of a mess to worry about. save money in the house in a piggy Bank where family can chip in. get like a big water jug.put coins and bills in there. you can probably save lots by x-mas. go to cash crate.com if your wife likes to be on the Internet she could make a few(20-30) bucks a month. good luck.

Answer 6

I would suggest the separate account for other reasons- mainly the reason that every divorced sucker in the world though he was in love too and then got had.

I would also suggest that if your wife doesn't already have a job she get one. If she doesn't handle money very well then see to it that she screws off her own instead of what you worked hard for.

If she does have a job, see to it that she either takes an accounting class and learns how to add/subtract or learn some self-control.

Answer 7

No Way! When she finds out, and she will, she's gonna have a huge trust issue with you. It's a nice thought, but maybe a better idea is to ask the bank teller to sell you a bond. You can't get you're money back for 6 months, AND you can let your wife know without worrying about her making plans to spend it.

Answer 8

That's dumb. You should be honest and upfront with your wife and solve the problem with her directly. If she can't manage the finances, then you need to tell her to get her act together. She should participate in improving your finances. Whenever you hide money, it always turns into a major marital problem, and it's even worse if you involve her in-laws (your parents.) It's time to cut the apron strings from your parents, and be responsible and honest with your wife about getting your finances in order. Otherwise, the problems will continue and then will get worse eventually. Solve the problem, don't brush it under the rug.

Can you only imagine if she finds out that you've been secretly funneling money and sending it to a PO box, or even worse, sending it to your parents' house? She will be mad if you even think about doing that.

Answer 9

The worst thing you could do is keep a secret from your wife. If you were to go behind her back and get a bank account - and she found out, you'd be in big big trouble! By doing things like this, you are telling your wife you don't trust her, and trust is one of the most important things in a marriage.

If you are concerned about her spending, perhaps you should take over the finances.

Answer 10

If your wife finds out she might be upset. You need to talk toy your wife about how she handles your guys money. Maybe you just need to handle the money, if she can't. If she complains, tell her you will give her a chance, if she can't improve, then you will take over. Making up for her mistakes, wether you saved the money, or got it from your parents isn't the way to go.