Homophobic and gay?

Question

Is it possible to be homophobic and gay? I don't know why but sometimes I just hate gay people.. despite the fact that I'm the same as them.

Answer 1

I think u hate urself for being gay, i am gay and i hate myself for it, so when i see other gays having fun or with other guys i get jealous and feel hatred towards them cos i secretly want to be happy and settle down with a guy perhaps ur hidden repression is this!

Answer 2

I think it probably is...I'm gay and sometimes I hate gay people, although I wouldn't classify my hatred as "homophobia". I just hate that some gay people try too hard to fit in with the stereotypes and therefore, give off the illusion that "all gay people act the same." The gay community is pretty judgmental at times, and wants everyone to be activists... I prefer to live my life to make a difference to those I love, and don't feel the need to attend every pride festival within a 10-hour driving radius carrying signs and chanting. I often get judged for that by gay people who think activism is the only way to get our message heard.

I think if you are gay and truly HOMOPHOBIC, then there's something within yourself you're not acknowledging and/or dealing with appropriately.

Answer 3

Yep. It's called internalized homophobia. We're all programmed since birth by our parents and by the entire society to hate gay people, to fear gay people, to be disgusted by gay people, to laugh at gay people etc. Then comes adolescence (or later in some people, or presumably earlier in some people) and you find out you ARE this thing, but you're not like what society tells you gay people are. It takes awhile to get over what are essentially the lies you've been told all your life, and all the false expectations.

Answer 4

Usually what we revile most in others is what we don't want to see in ourselves.

Take heart... This is fixable.

I STRONGLY suggest that you seek out a counselor. The internal homophobia will destroy you if you don't take steps to dispel it.

I will give you an example that I watched in my own life...

I knew a guy who was a raging alcoholic. I understood the situation because I was friends with his Mom. He could only let himself be with his boyfriend when he was drunk, so he pretty much stayed drunk.

He hated himself for being gay and he raged at the world, destroying himself in the process.


PLEASE, PLEASE don't take that path. What you feel is natural and healthy. You just need to get to a point where you can love all of yourself. It's okay to be scared and confused, you just need to do the work inside to make yourself whole again.

{{{{hug for you}}}}

Answer 5

Yes, the most homophobic people in the world are gay -- however, I think you are talking about something other than homophobia here. Feel free to email me if you think talking would make you feel better.

Best thoughts,

Reynolds
http://www.rebuff.org
[e-mail]

Answer 6

Sure it's possible. In fact, "gay bashers" are most often people who are afraid of or disgusted by their OWN homosexual tendencies. The more fierce the hatred of gays, the harder it must be for the person to either accept --- or even control --- his or her own homosexual tendencies. Scratch a homophobe, find a repressed homosexual underneath; surprise!

Answer 7

It's possible. You're afraid to admit you are just like them, and that you are a gay man. Not all gay guys will like the more flamboyant types.

Answer 8

Hi !

I guess that's real ... I guess sometimes I am ......
That's becasue my particualr point-of-view, a gay man shouldn't have to act as a female ....I feel so uncomfortable being in a party and looking those persons acting as women, I know they are as they want to be. but even so it's shocking for me ... so I'm a butch masculine gay male with a bit homophobic
see you
FER

Answer 9

Maybe it's not the life style you hate but rather the stereo type. No matter your sexual preference we are the same on the inside. Looking for someone to love and to be loved by.

Answer 10

Its not hating them its just not finding your type of gay peson.