I'm now 33 and I lost contact with one of my old best friends, we used to be very close. I got married and moved away, we just lost contact of one another over the years. I came upon her new phone number online one day, was on a Friday. So I thought I'd wait until that Sunday to call her up, Friday night I figured she's be out having fun. I called my Mom up the next day, on a Saturday to tell her that I finally located my old best friend. They all live in Maryland, I'm out of state. My Mom got telling me of a bad wreck that had happened the night before, it was my friend that I'd recently found again, she was killed. Now I feel so guilty because I didn't call her the same day I relocated her, if I had, we'd have hung up saying "Goodbye", but because of me, I never got to tell her. I really feel like I'm dying inside. I wake up in the middle of the night dreaming about the fun times we had together, with a wet pillow and tears still running. What does all of this mean?
2006-09-25 17:26:32 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
No, she was hit head on, she was DOA. A young man crossed the center line, hit her straight out. He later died at the hospital the same night.
2006-09-25 17:36:46 · update #1
Her funeral was over, I didn't go. It was a closed casket because she was apparently very bad off. Her Dad passed away some years ago and it only left her Mom and a sister. There's not a grave from what I know. She was cremated and I believe the Mother and Sister has that. I was told her ashed were put in her bedroom and the door was pulled shut and locked. There was a Christmas present still wrapped up in her closet, it was to me. Like I said, I feel like I'm dying inside. Wouldn't you?
2006-09-25 18:05:24 · update #2
Honey, I am so sorry for your loss. Your guilt is causing these dreams. You are going to have to stop feeling guilty. She knows that you love her, miss her, and feel bad that you never got to say anything to her before she passed. You really ought to try to release some of this guilt by knowing that it was her time to go, and please be reassured that she knows how you are feeling. I know that she would not want you to go through all that you are going through right now. She would really want only the best for you. Just try to talk to her as if she were alive. She will hear you.
You might want to try to keep yourself busy, and remember next time don't miss the opportunity to talk to someone. This could be a life lesson for you also.
God Bless you and please stop being so hard on yourself. After all we are all human and we are all here to learn our lessons.
2006-09-25 17:39:57 · answer #1 · answered by cinson1999 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, when I first read your story all I could think was: "WOW. . . ."
That's horrible. But, dont feel guilty. I understand why you didnt call right away. Remember, that your intent in waiting till Sunday was to be considerate by not interrupting her plans. (I several months ago, also located a friend that I had not seen in over 17 years. I too waited to a day that I thought would be appropriate before calling--and for the same reason. ) YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. Rather, your friend was fortunate to have someone who cared enough about her to want to keep touch with her enough to search for her so. You have every right to grieve the loss of your friend. It was a horrible terrible tragedy.
You need closure. Go to her funeral if you can. If not, visit her grave site and have a good chat with her. Tell her everything you had planned to tell her that Sunday--about your life and family, reminisce about the old times. . . .
I'm sorry for your loss, dear. It really is an awful twist of fate. I wish you all the best.
2006-09-26 00:58:12 · answer #2 · answered by tigerzntalons 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This means you lost one of your best friends. Even though you hadn't been in contact it's still loss. You have no reason to feel guilty unless you have a window to the future. Thank god you can remember the fun times maybe you should try and think of those instead of a couple of days in I'm guessing fifteen years time. What you did in that couple of days is THE reason you didn't say goodbye. You could blame her for being near your mom and not getting your number. The fact is neither one of you is to blame. Blame Life Life Sucks. Talk to someone don't keep this all in or you'll make yourself sick. I'm sorry for your loss.
2006-09-26 00:46:56 · answer #3 · answered by Heather S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its a tough situation but you can't beat yourself up over it. THe real truth is everything happens for a reason and you weren't meant to talk to her before it happened. I know your sad and angry but if you had talked to her it may have been harder because you would have rekindled the lost friendship and then youd be sitting here telling us all that you finally got a hold of her and you made all these plans and then she died. You have to trust that she is in a better place and it was her time to go and remember to keep your friends close in the future. Don't beat yourself up! It is normal for people to lose contact and grow apart.
2006-09-26 00:31:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe in a weird way she contacted you to get you to think about her. Sounds strange I know, but I think it's possible to send out a mental Hello or s.o.s.. So maybe she knew that you were trying...don't feel guilty. Remember the times you had together and think of the friendship. I am so sorry for your loss.
2006-09-26 00:33:05 · answer #5 · answered by Bexcy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
at least the memories still live in her spirit and inside you, thats all that matters, and as long as you guys were close once before and its ok to feel bad right now because she was your best friend but just know she is looking down at you right now and all you need to do is pray to her and God and tell her what you wanted to say all along, and that will help
2006-09-26 00:30:42 · answer #6 · answered by teekapeek 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think it was strange what happened to you.... You obviously love your friend and that is what matters. Learn from your experience and allow yourself to be changed by what you have learned. You have been given a gift wrapped in the hurts of this world. Our hearts sometimes have to be prepared to receive the best gifts from God, and pain can sometimes break the fallow grounds of our hearts.
2006-09-26 00:56:04 · answer #7 · answered by Jack 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it just means it was somebody you cared about and miss even if you haven't talked in a while. I am sooo sorry for your loss. Even if you don't believe in God I will pray for you that you feel better. Don't keep thinking about it forever though or it will scar you for eternity.
2006-09-26 01:04:43 · answer #8 · answered by Devin R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it means you feel guilty about not contacting her sooner. it is not your fault that she had the wreck, and died. try to remember the fun you used to have and not dwell on the fact that you missed a chance to talk to her one last time, because if you dwell on it you will drive yourself crazy
2006-09-26 00:39:00 · answer #9 · answered by smitty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When she died, she was thought about by you, and It shows us that never take life for granted, learn now to tell the people around you now that you love them..another lesson taught..she is in heaven now and just pray for her...sorry to hear about this...good luck...Remember you have her in your heart, and memories
2006-09-26 00:36:59 · answer #10 · answered by qdrama1956 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋