Hi All;) .. Opinions and views, on this one?? (see inside) ;)?

Question

Are we all basically born self-centered, and need to learn to care about others, or are some born caring about how others feel???
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Thanks, for answering in advance!;D

Try to make the most of your day!;)

Answer 1

some are born caring how others feel, because they themselves "feel" how the person feels

Answer 2

When we're born we are dependent upon parents and/or medical staff. If we were self-centred we would refuse to learn to walk based on the notion that we didn't need to go anywhere if we were the centre of the world. Similarly with talking. Children enjoy learning to talk because it allows them to communicate with other people.

If the height of self-centredness is at this age then 2 year olds wouldn't care about being able to communicate with others because they would not see a need to do so.

What I think you're trying to tap on here is the idea that 'self-centredness' is a survival instinct of being human. Which is certainly true of most living creatures. It is only really due to the technology and culture of modern civilisation that we don't have to concern ourselves so much with self-survival because of inventions like houses, locks, farms, electricity, and of course medicine.

However in some circumstances, such as war, we fall into a total self-survival mode best explained by the phrase "every man for himself". In these circumtances we will ignore every basic rule of kindness and civility taught to us by modern civilisation if these are things that are going to stand between us living or dying.

But from the way you're asking the questions you are it could also be that you're missing the entire importance of psychological growth in children and adults. Some people are self-centred because they were conditioned this way by their environments as children or during another influential stage of life. Most of everything about a person's ability to care or be self-centred can be attributed to social experience, and ability to understand or reflect upon that social experience.

And then sometimes people act like jerks simply because they have the ability to and can't find a decent reason not to.

But all in all I really don't think that people are born "this way" or "that way". If there is one thing that continued existence tells us, its that we continue to learn and change throughout the course of our lives. Some events cause dramatic change, whereas other changes may be gradual over a long time.

Personality changes more than any other element of a person's being.

So no, I really don't think we're born either self-centred or caring. Merely born with the capacity to exercise either.

Answer 3

We are not born either way. Our persona so to speak develops from the surroundings we are raised in. If you are lucky enough to be born into a loving caring family with a social conscious and who care for others chances are you will also.

If you are in a family were everything is self centred , me, me, me and abusing, you run a good chance of being the same way. If you are lucky you may meet someone who can change you around but that is rare.

Answer 4

First of all Kimberly, I offer my thanks for your insight to thank all,,,in advance,,, no matter the answers.

Self absorbtion, self centered attitudes are learned, not genetically inherited.

Becoming a caring person may not be directly influenced by personal experiences such as parents and teachers expounding on "The Golden Rule"

We all discover, at some point in our evolution, what is good,,or "right" and what opposes those feelings. The grace allowed our species is that we have the greatest freedom allowed,,,That of CHOICE.

Those who choose inappropriate behaviors, actions, attitudes, may work as hard at maintaining them, as those who oppose them.

There are so many quotes that can support and damage your question, such as 'No goodness goes unpunished"

I suggest that PEACE is of benefit to all, no matter how they define it, and as a believer in Karma,,, I have experienced that it GETS YA,,,for good or bad.

Blessings,
Rev. Steven

Answer 5

Babies are self centered, they have to be.
They learn as they grow to love and care unless some jerkwad decides to abuse them, emotionally or physically and then that breaks down and goes away and they regress into only caring about themselves, a defense mechanism.

Answer 6

let's start it when a baby is born... in his state, he is, of course, self centered... all he knows is the world is his. his surrounding is where he generates attention.

as soon as he learns of having sisters and brothers and playmates, his interaction with them generates the needed warmth and care he tries to grasp within his logic and reason.

as soon as he begins his education, he tries to prove his worth. his knowledge of understanding is now honed.

and as he becomes who he is, he sees the validity of being the leader or being the follower...

now, with all these in mind, life begins for us as self centered. but as soon as we grasp the knowledge, the balance shifts into the middle. should we be the center or not? therein lies the conflict of identity. would it matter to me if i'm just a follower? need i care for my fellowmen? must i do what others tell me or should they they be lead by me? questions that need answered by reasons... reasons that should be logically acceptable to my opinions. if not properly tended, the balance shifts from arrogance to humility.

thus, everyone was once born self-centered. but as we develop reasons, we either continue the flow, or leap out of the bandwagon and join the parade, as they say...

Answer 7

i think we are born self centered mostly because we only understand the concept of ourselves and the things that we need or want. it isn't a bad thing because we were born alone, we spent 9 months alone and had no idea what anything or anybody was or meant. all we had was ourselves.

Answer 8

it is through life that you learn characteristics. no one is born with racist thoughts. people are born innocent; hence, the term child-like innocence. many of the characteristics of people are learned from their parents at an early age. if people were born with character-traits, then every no one could be prosecuted for a crime with punishment because they could all blame it on the inheritance of a character trait.

Answer 9

I think we're all born self-centered - it's a matter of survival. As we become more self sufficient we learn empathy towards others. Some people, though, are more empathic than others. Some people never grow out of being self-centered.

Answer 10

It is not possible to genuinely and sustainably care for others, unless one can completely obliterate one's ego. As long as one lives with one's body and mind, the ego-free state can only be attained fleetingly during certain unguarded moments.
If one could practise to prolong such ego-free moments, it would serve to enhance one's state of sublime happiness. There lies the paradox, since that would be the cleverest self-centered act !!

Answer 11

I don't agree exactly.

We are all born with a self preservation instinct but we are social creatures like a wolf pack or herd animals , we need others to live. If at the very simplest terms we can not do everything we need therefore we need others to do them. You can't hunt and farm at the same time. we can not reproduce by ourselves either.