I'm 18 yrs old and need to improve the social status of my life. I'm more on the reserved side, and never really had a gf yet. I guess you could call me shy, but I'm not really afraid of talking to girls, just never know the right things to say.
One of my friends suggested going to the bowling alley to meet people. There are certainly great possibilities there but all of the girls I see are always in large groups or are talking with other guys. I'd feel ackward just randomly going up to someone and bullshitting about nothing. I'm not some ugly nerd either. I'm 5'8, spiked brown/blonde hair, nice tan, wear name brand clothes and a chain.
From what I've seen, it almost seems like you need to do drugs and go to parties if you want to have a lot of connections.
2006-09-25 16:53:43 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
I had the same problem and then I read that a good approach would be to think of women as guys. You don't necessarily need to talk about sports but talk about small things. But the big thing is to listen and nod a lot. It seems like bs at first but you get used to it and it becomes more natural.
2006-09-25 17:03:32 · answer #1 · answered by Ron D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People have suggested some of the things I would suggest, so I just have a few things to add:
You don't have to "BS" people. In fact, if you do that they'll know and won't like you. There's nothing easier to detect that BS. There's nothing really wrong, though, with just starting a conversation about some little thing like where to get the best pizza in the area. A conversation can grow from that. Just be yourself, and just see girls as humans just like you are.
I could be wrong about this, but I think that maybe the chain should go. Spiked hair may not be the best thing to attract the best girls either - but maybe that's just me. Intelligent, nice, girls like someone who looks clean and has some basic good taste in clothing, but I think they're mostly interested in how nice a person you seem to be and whether or not you seem "just regular" and not phony. They will also sense it if you act as if you believe your brand-name clothing and tan should automatically make girls interested in you. A young man can actually look like he worries too much about his fashion and hair-do, and that doesn't win any points with girls.
In general, get to know girls as friends. The more girls you know as friends, the more likely it is one of them will start to see you as more than a friend or the other way around. The more girls you know as friends, the more, too, you'll have a chance of having them introduce you to other girls. You don't have to be attracted to some girls. Just make it clear you're a friendly person who likes to meet new people.
If you see someone you'd like to date just ask them. They'll either say "yes" or "no" (which isn't the end of the world either).
People who do drugs and go to parties may appear to have a bunch of connections, but those kinds of connections are either not deep ones or if they are they're destructive ones.
Finally, if you're 18 you must either be headed for college or some other type of school or else you'll be working full-time soon. Either way, you'll meet more people then. Still, join a few things and meet yet some more.
2006-09-26 03:24:39 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try joining some kind of group that's for people your age. If you're actually INTERESTED in bowling, join a league. If your into music, join a choir or a band. If you're religious, join a church youth group. That's the best way to meet people, because then you also meet people who share your interests!
2006-09-25 23:59:53 · answer #3 · answered by Jess H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Volunteering for any charitable activity, a run for leukemia, walk for breast cancer, getting involved in those things you are passionate about will automatically lead to social networks. Go with your passions, and you are bound to meet passionate people like yourself, who don't need chemical highs to get high on what they're doing in life. And keep the bar high - remember you deserve the best, and don't let anyone make you feel otherwise!
2006-09-26 00:02:18 · answer #4 · answered by Mark L 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dating girls who already have similar interests as you will make dating all the better. In otherwords go and do things you already do and see if any girls are doing it too.
Remember, girls love a great smile directed their way!
(Sometimes less is more)
2006-09-26 08:08:27 · answer #5 · answered by together420yrs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would go to your nearest Habitat for Humanity project and volunteer help. There you will meet some of the best people in the world. Try it!
2006-09-25 23:58:16 · answer #6 · answered by a_phantoms_rose 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do understand you.
personally, i hate the only 'thought' of having to go out in order to meet someone. this totally sucks!
i mean, i'm-a-go out when and if i want to, and only cause i'm interested in...bowling, for example.
what i can say is, when you set your mind on the right wave-frequency, you'll meet the right person.
work on this, and you'll have results.
2006-09-26 09:49:15 · answer #7 · answered by What U see is what U get 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to church and make friends.
2006-09-26 00:02:29 · answer #8 · answered by dancingwiththestars 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋