Communicate with my husband? I am 18 years old he is 21 and we got married after 2 months of knowing dating each other in vegas as a joke. And due to a lot of drinking that same day have a baby on the way. We have been married for month still have not told our parents and we had our first big fight recently. I have to keep fighting the urge not to throw a fit and cry?Also sometimes my husband speaks to me as if i were a child? i really hate it!
2006-09-25 16:07:21 · 8 answers · asked by Keri O 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It feels like the more i try to force myself to act maturally the more i act like a child!
2006-09-25 16:07:59 · update #1
I am trying to act mature only when i am angry its really hard to act mature
2006-09-25 16:12:03 · update #2
He wants to stay married
2006-09-25 16:15:08 · update #3
Oh what a tangled web we weave...
2006-09-25 16:10:06 · answer #1 · answered by Miss J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I'd seriously consider ending this pregnancy -- your marriage likely will not last, and every child has a right to an intact houshold, with parents with their heads on straight, and mature enough to raise one. It soulds like neither of you qualify. Children are not bonding, they are divisive, and if you think you are having problems getting along now, guess what???? things just get worse. (And don't let some idiot talk you into adoption..... if you think the adopting parents want you in their life, guess again..They move, change their name, and.... well, you figure it out.....) At this point, you have a zygote no bigger than the 0 . You aren't ready for even marriage, what makes you think you are ready to assign the next 20 years of your life to a pregnancy???? And, in your situation, unlikely your marriage will survive 4 years,----about how long uncommitted guys will stick around in the event of an unplanned pregnancy.. Great. Then you get to be just one up from the bottom. The one up is a single mom. The very bottom is a black single mom. A new prospective, guy/husband regards another man's child as real baggage -- big time. So you get to spend a lot of time by yourself, trying to make financial ends meet, and wondering what the hell happened to your 20's.... Good.
You asked. Probably knew your options were't good........ Sorry for you sweetie - wouldn't wish your situation of my very worst enemy......
2006-09-25 23:56:00 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a child, especially for getting married as a joke. That's an oath you took before God. You need to communicate with yourself and grow up. You admitted that you can not act mature, so how do you expect him to?
In life, you live and learn. At least you "want" to act/be mature and communicate. Life is your best teacher, that's all I can say.
2006-09-25 23:20:57 · answer #3 · answered by TIRED 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a mother to be. There are various techniques used to build communication skills.
a) A program called Marriage Encounter encourages the writing of daily love notes.
b) Weekly date nights.
c) 1/2 chat time before the tv can be turned on 3 times a week
I would encourage you to call your families ASAP. They will be a support network as you grow together through life.
If your husband wants to stay married and calls you "Kid" then it is either an endearment or a I am afraid/nervous putdown. Call him on it. Give him a few chances and then call him Kiddie.
God's speed.
2006-09-26 00:14:53 · answer #4 · answered by Joe Cool 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, your first thoughts have to be about the baby. You two got married before you got to know each other. But my wife and I knew each other for 7 yrs before we even dated. We knew a LOT about each other, but we still had problems. We were married 10 yrs before we learned to communicate. Neither of us wanted to end the marriage, but neither of us wanted to continue the way we were going. We learned thru a counselor. He taught us to communicate. If we could learn, so can you. Communication is the most important thing in a successful relationship. If you care about him and your marriage, find a counselor.
Tell your parents. They may be disappointed, but they will probably be supportive. If not, then don't let your parents keep you from your dreams together. We have just celebrated our 40th anniv. It is worth the time and effort to make it work.
2006-09-25 23:25:43 · answer #5 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW.
(me taking a deep breath)
you have made a serious decision. people give more thought to buying a house, than to who they will marry. I am just as guilty as you are. I think maybe the first step is to talk to your parents. Maybe they can help. Also set a night or afternoon aside to talk about your goals, your future, what you two want to do. Then proceed from there. Also, try to not fight during this serious talk.
2006-09-25 23:15:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear it is hard in these times, you need to tell your parents your mom would tell you what to do,you have to grow with each other,but now that your are going to have a baby,your body is changing and you will cry at anything,just tell him how you feel and some times men just don't hear to good it takes time,but stop fighting it is not good for you two or the baby,
2006-09-25 23:42:52 · answer #7 · answered by mensert 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you married too soon. My advice is tell your and his parents you are married. then sit down and talk to him both of you have to face the fact you have a child to think of now. If he is sorry you got married and he pushes to end the marriage you will have your parents and I think his to help you. Your number one thought must be the baby
2006-09-25 23:14:15 · answer #8 · answered by mamayer6 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋