already in limbo, but i found out that she had been seeing another person at the same time we seperated officially. she has now moved in with this person and knows i stil love her very much. Is there a slight chance she has made a huge mistake or am i just love sick and she is gone forever. i been told over and over to move on but still hoping she'll come back and we can continue to grow together
2006-09-25 16:06:27 · 22 answers · asked by stanyamada 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If she is living with another man--not married--u can probably get the kids, then she will follow them.
A woman can not be without the kids---at least not normally.
2006-09-25 16:26:50 · answer #1 · answered by kay w 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she has moved on, which obviously she has, you should accept the painful reality and attempt to do the same. The More you push, the less attractive you become. You will know in time if she made a mistake, but im guessing that call wont come anytime soon. SO load the car up with some friends, go out and enjoy the freedom you havent had for 17 years. Come on you cant say you havent missed it. Im single for the first time since I was 15. Im having a blast. 27 years is a long time. No ties, no baggage. Just enjoy life. If its meant to be it will be. If not, it happened because there is something else better out there for you. Good luck, Chin up.
2006-09-25 23:12:57 · answer #2 · answered by rwdycwgrl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I firmly believe that there are people in our lives who we will forever love...no matter what. You may love her for the rest of your days...but in time the hurt will go away. Seventeen years is a very long time to be married. Your feelings are not like a light switch that you can just turn on/off. I can almost guarantee you (from personal experience) that she still cares for you too. She may/may not come to her senses. However, things will never be the same again.
I would say: Try to move on with your life. That doesn't mean you have to jump into another relationship though.
2006-09-26 00:20:20 · answer #3 · answered by Jody B. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did the same thing and regretted it. My husband still loved me very much and was willing to work things out. We had been married 17 years and had one daughter who was 13 at the time. I made the mistake and still live with it but he did go on with his life, in fact he has married twice since me. My daughter is 25 now and I recently was back home for the birth of our 2nd grandson. He told me that he will always love me but now it is too late and I am so accustomed to being alone. I have met nice men here and there but will never have the same thing I had with him. Maybe tell your wife what I have said here. She will more than likely regret her decision also. I wish you both the best and good luck!
2006-09-25 23:20:41 · answer #4 · answered by Kim M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to stop loving her to get on with your life. Even if you got back together soon, eventually the trust issues would seep out. You can't deny that the trust has been destroyed and would at least have to be built back up, which is not easy, to say the least. My thoughts are that you should let it go for now (since she has made herself obviously unavailable to you, at least for now) and see how things are in another 6 months, see how you feel. Don't hope for it, just allow what happens to happen. Don't even talk with her about coming back to you. Let her bring it up, if she's going to, only when the other man is out of the picture completely Otherwise, she will have proven twice to you that she is capable cheating and looking for more than what she has.
2006-09-25 23:14:41 · answer #5 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Anything is possible. Maybe someday, 5-10 years down the road, she'll come back. But do you really want to be waiting around to see IF that will happen? Don't you deserve to be treated better? To have someone who truly loves you as much as you love them? Don't deny someone else the love you have to give just because you're mourning the loss of this love.
2006-09-25 23:11:52 · answer #6 · answered by Jen B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should try to move on as it seems she has. Even if she came back could you honestly completely forgive her in your heart or would it simply be the cause of another seperation. You sound like a nice person and will find someone else who values you so give it a try
2006-09-25 23:10:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm YOUNG yes i know... "I KNOW NOTHING" ... but still this is MY OPINION... I do believe you should try and move on. I know my mom and dad HAD been together 20yrs... (i was 19 now 21) ... and then boom one day my mom left my dad... said she was tired of putting up w/stupid ****. To my dad that was definately HEARTBREAKING... he kept his life FREE of woman till this last past 6months or so... he said he can't love any woman like he did my mom, and he's still IN love withher. OBVIOUSLY when you've been with someone for so long the relationship "LOVE" can't just POOF be gone... there's NO WAY in hell for that... so he tried dating... come to find out ... :) ... They are planning to move back in together and TRY a fresh NEW start. I'm not saying that ur relationship may RE-kindle... but DEFINATELY TRY and date others... see whats up... My dad let my mom go, he still had a rough time, but he let her go... she came back. Isnt' that a saying "If you love something set it free, if it comes back it's meant to be?! " ... So yeah... GOOD LUCK! with everything... but definately NEVER give up hope! :) ...
2006-09-25 23:14:43 · answer #8 · answered by sweetsuezq4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's sad. You sound like a good person. You just have to face the facts. She's a cheater and she didn't care enough about you or the kids to be a good wife and mother. Move on and find a nice decent person who will appreciate a nice guy.
2006-09-25 23:09:51 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she has moved on too quickly, my opinion. If you still love her and have hopes of getting back together you must tell her. She may be thinking the same thing, but the both of you are not communicating your feelings. I'm just guessing, don't know if your talking or not, but you can't solve anything without talking.
2006-09-26 00:22:52 · answer #10 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain. Sounds like she has moved on, whether you like it or not. From experience waiting around hoping you can get the marriage back is wasting your life. Feel the pain and move on. Time is all that can make this kind of pain bearable.
2006-09-26 01:20:02 · answer #11 · answered by dettie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋