I am 24 years old and have been married 2 years recently i found out my husband was having sex with his boss. I was devestated because my husband and i had spent the last year trying for a baby and the first year of marriage really did not use protection. He had kept saying i was the problem and we had a lot of fights because he thought it was because off the miscarriage i had when i was18 with my first bf. He met me right after and helped me through it. We seperated for 2 months and i started the paper work and so did he for a divorce. While at the bowling ally i actually ran into my ex. bf my first love and the only other guy i dated befor my husband we had seen each other around before and talked. We went out and had some drinks talked about life he turned out to be married 6 months and they had major problems ext. I had sex with him one time thing and now i just found out i am 1 month 1/2 with his child. Problem is my husband just came back and wants to work things out i said yes .
2006-09-25 15:14:14 · 32 answers · asked by Jessica C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When i said yes i did not now i was pregnant with this other mans child.I know what i did was wrong but i as lonlely and drunk.
2006-09-25 15:15:50 · update #1
I dont know if i should tell my husband this or just continue with the divorce . Our martail problem ere big before this.
2006-09-25 15:17:36 · update #2
First of all, you need to tell him. As hard as i's going to be. But do not use "lonely and drunk" as an excuse, it'll only further piss your husband off. (Depressed, maybe.) Try marriage counselling. If he's a strong man, and he loves you, and can forgive you (because you were very very wrong to retaliate!) then he will care for this child as his own....
(This is so Maury Povich!!!)
2006-09-25 15:20:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a world where cheating is a problem .Your husband have all the right to know what he didn't know about you. He wants to work things out , that's good news. You said yes, that is fine. But to let him live a lie, that he is not the father of your child, that would be the greatest mistake you will do. Tell him the truth. If he leave you, that will not mean that you are free to go back to your ex since he is also married, think twice, because a wrong decision will ruin his family and yours. Cut off your relationship with your ex. Move on with your husband. If he rejects you, take courage to face it. In every choices you make, there will always be a consequence. You have to face it even if it will mean to live alone for the rest of your life.
2006-09-25 15:48:09 · answer #2 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Continue to divorce your husband and get a fresh start. You weren't even pregnant and your husband had you to his self and cheated on you. I don't think that he will be able to handle the fact that you are now pregant with another mans baby. By the way there is nothing for you to be sorry for. You didn't do anything wrong. Your husband screwed up, not you. As for the other guy if he is not divorced yet, you may want to rethink any sexual involvement. You may face being a single parent, but in the long run you can then find someone who is honest and values marriage the way you do. Good Luck to you.
2006-09-25 15:29:11 · answer #3 · answered by 9knowledge 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, What a lot put on you. I guess you have to ask ur-self what you really want? Do you love this old boyfriend? Could it work with him? Do you love ur- husband? I think ur husband should NOT be mad at you after what he did. You are only human. I would just tell him about the baby. Are you sure who's baby it is? Maybe try to figure that out for sure. I would tell ur husband. The longer you wait the worse it will be. You shouldn't be stressed out about this being pregnant and all. Just take things day by day...things will work out. You should be excited about that little life inside you. I would tell ur husband soon! Good Luck...God Bless...I feel sorry for you. I would go talk to a counsler if I was you. If you had problems before it really might help you now. Go by ur-self you will feel better and get a good idea on what direction to go!
2006-09-25 15:21:36 · answer #4 · answered by LeeLynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's quite a situation you have there, and I don't envy the decisions you have to make. Here's my words of wisdom:
1. Life always brings you to back to the person you are supposed to be with.
2. When in doubt, clear the air and tell the truth to everyone involved. It is the only way to TRULY solve a problem- any other way just makes more problems.
3. Mind and soul controls the body. Maybe your soul doesn't want to be with your husband. Maybe there is a reason you are pregnant by this other guy.
...but then again I'm a big believer in fate, however unconventional it seems.
Hope you get some good advice! Best of luck :) and follow your heart
2006-09-25 15:28:55 · answer #5 · answered by moonbrook1985 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Proceed forward with the divorce. Your husband cheated on you and you said you had serious problems within the marriage. Have you heard of birth control? In the future, I'd advise you to use it. As for the ex-bf you ran into in the bowling alley and slept with and are now pregant, he doesn't sound like a very good prospect since he was only married for 6 months and had "major problems." What a mess. You've gone from the frying pan into the fire.
2006-09-25 15:28:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a man is going to cheat on you that soon into your marriage he will do it again and again and again. This marriage is not worth saving. Cut your losses and walk away. Make sure though before you leave to let him know that HE is the reason the two of you could not have a child because you are pregnant by that same ex boyfriend. You'll get a kick out of the look on his face and you DESERVE that tiny bit of satisfaction.
As far as the baby's father is concerned, you need to decide if this is someone that you want in yours and your child's life. If you decide that he will only complicate things, then walk away now. Never tell him of the pregnancy. There will be more men, you are still young, and you will find one willing to love you AND your child...and be faithful to you as well. Best of luck.
2006-09-25 15:24:59 · answer #7 · answered by A.R. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For the baby's sake you have to tell your husband now about the pregnancy now. Of course he will be devasted, one because you were with someone else, but mainly because this indicates that the fertility issues were with him and not you. He will most likely need some help getting through this. As far as you being with someone else, if it was while you were seperated then you did nothing wrong. It won't be easy but if you truly want to work things out, don't start out on a lie.
2006-09-25 15:18:34 · answer #8 · answered by tollerx2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The poor baby will never have a chance in life. Both parents are sleeping around without using protection. I know you are now pregnant and sleeping with your husband. This is so nasty! NO morals. If you are truly sorry, you will do the best thing for your child. How will your husband love another mans child? The child will be living in a life of "Hell"
2006-09-25 15:47:30 · answer #9 · answered by Errolyn27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, what a tangled web we weave. I am assuming you didn't have sex with your husband in the two months you had been separated.
No offense, but what advise do you need. The answer is obvious. You have to tell him the truth. You can't allow him to believe the baby is actually his.
If he truly loves you, he will be there for you. Maybe not at first, but ultimately, he will be there for you.
Besides that, the real father of that child has the right to know he is going to be a father and know his child. And, that baby has the right to know who his/her real father is. If for no other reason, for medical background reasons.
And besides that, you are assuming he won't be able to do the math and figure it out himself. I know I would be skeptical.
No offense, but there is no good answer for you.
Good Luck
2006-09-25 15:27:47 · answer #10 · answered by holdemfoldem911 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋