Do you really think that there is a big difference from boyfriend to spouse if you have lived with the?

Question

person for 6 years and have bought a house together and have every intention of getting married, and having kids ect. I am told there is a big diff. but wtf is the difference if you live and act married even if you aren't is a little piece of paper and an "i do" going to change things that much?
Personally, I don't think so but I am not the judge here so you
people tell me? I guess I am someone without that answer.

Answer 1

No big difference ... the only thing is the piece of paper with you last name being changed .. If you are happy with everything the way it is screw what other ppl have to say. Marriage don't change ANYTHING but your last name remember that .. You and him will not change

Answer 2

Reread your question.. see the sentence where you say "act married" that is exactly what you are doing pretending. The truth is people who just shack up together (thank god there were no little "accidents") really don't want to marry.
Think of marriage as bungee jumping.. if you walk up the tower and put on the jacket and hang your toes over the edge but don't jump.. you have not bungee jumped. If you don't sign that little piece of paper.. you are not married. People don't view you as being married,nor do they have the respect for you, nor think you are really in love and legally you are asking for a nightmare when you buy property together. When you find the right guy and marry you will instantly see and feel the difference.

Answer 3

Personally, I do not see the difference as to how it affects the 2 persons involved. A couple simply living together could be as committed (or even more) to each other just as a married couple is. Others might say marriage has that sense of permanence --- well, I'm sure you are aware of the great percentage that ends in divorce. My opinion is that marriage, to put it loosely, is mostly for the kids so they would grow up in a family unit --- be taught, raised, nurtured, provided for . . .

This is just my insight on this matter. I myself intend to get married one day if the right person comes along. I still believe in the sanctity of marriage and I believe that the family is the unit where each individual learns (or should learn) love, sharing, giving, respect for self & for others, responsibility and accountability.

To whoever is in the situation you mentioned above, let the couple do what they think is right at the right time. I'm sure if they feel the strength and closeness in their relationship, they themselves would eventually decide to make it more lasting and permanent. Good luck to them.

Answer 4

If the "paper" is such a little thing then what's the big deal with getting one? That little paper represents commitment. You sign for cars,houses,etc... Yet with your person you wouldn't demand the same sort of commitment? Your children would not be legitimate. You would not be entitled to alimony if you didn't work out. You won't be married. Your mate is free to be with whomever he pleases when your ship starts sinking. Unless you don't believe you will stay together then I suppose you need a loop hole. Did you know that even though you live together that you technically are not considered family. If one of you should pass then the legitimate family has grounds to contest wills and custody issues? That little piece of paper is a demonstration of commitment and a protection for you and any children you may have.

Answer 5

i personally don't see the difference...i mean even though marriage is supposed to last forever, so many people these days get divorced so easily anyways, it really is no different from being bf/gf. also it actually is seen as a marriage in the eyes of the government if you're living with someone for over a year and have joint accounts and have joint payments on bills and rent etc. i'ts a common law marriage and is legally binding in aspects. i mean i just got married about a yr ago, and it's not really that different. sorry some ppl are pressuring you to "do the right thing" and marry. it's the 21st century!! lol

Answer 6

I know how you feel. I have been with my boyfriend close to 7 years now and I beleive we are going to be together the rest of our lives, I beleive we are meant for each other and at times I wish we were married but it definetely scares me. For some reason I feel that once we get married we will break up, like so many stories I have heard. We get along for the most part but when we get in an argument, I always imagine myself being married and then suffocated, it is a terrible feeling, but at the same time maybe I would tone it down if we were married so our arguments dont escalate in fear of divorce, in any casse I dont want to take that chance, I FEEL FREE the way I am.

Answer 7

I lived with my now husband for 2 years prior to marrying him, and there is a difference, wouldnt say big difference but difference.. because even when ur dating.. but living together , theres still a sense of " he / she could leave " at any moment (so u tend to act alittle different then the norm a bit of walking on egg shells.. kinda like if ur home all day and hes not home , u may do things that u dont normally do when he's there, like be a complete bum or something .. where when he's around u get dressed put make up on.. ect.. stupid things like that) .... where with a marriage, u feel more of a security, granted the person could still leave no doubt.. but u tend to feel more secure and more comfortable once your married.. even after living with someone for awhile ur still not completely "yourself" ..maybe 99% but not 100%.. and usually even after marriage ur on a "we're married now high" that usually total comfortable, routine ect doesnt set in for another few months or so.. so its not a HUGEEEEEEEEEEE difference.. as far as situation.. there are the financial aspects as when ur not married, theres still a divided line of yours and mine.. when ur married, whats his is urs and whats ur's is his.. but thats about it..

Answer 8

The only thing that ever changes is a person's attitude. Your day-to-day lives are the same. But some people get this "but now you're my wife (or husband) " frame of mind, that can cause trouble if they think some things SHOULD change. If you and your partner have a good relationship now, getting married should not change anything.

Answer 9

There's a lot of difference. It's nice to be the "Smiths" or the "Browns", rather than John & Jane. And if you have kids, whose last name will they have?
There are more benefits to being married. If one of you were seriously ill & in ICU it would be easier for the other to get in to visit saying husband or wife rather than boyfriend or girlfriend. Bf or gf says I've know this person for a week-10 years. Being married says you're together as a family.

Answer 10

spouse is different from being wife or husband. i think the same why get married for just a bit of paper and many people these days are getting divorced and really marrige was just a waste of money to them. a bit of paper can sometime ruin a relationship so to keep things easy just stay spouse not married.