LAST NIGHT, I WAS LOOKING AT MY HUSBANDS CELL PHONE AND NOTICED THAT NEW PEOPLE WERE CALLING HIM LIKE HIS GUY FRIENDS WIVES. I WAS MAD BECAUSE HE'D NEVER MENTIONED THESE PEOPLE TO ME BEFORE AND ASKED HIM WHY HIS FRIENDS WIVES CALLED MORE THAN THE ACTUAL FRIEND WAS. I WAS FURIOUS AND STORMED INTO THE BATHROOM AND LOCKED THE DOOR! I TOLD HIM THAT I ALLWAYS LET HIM KNOW WHO I WAS TALKING TO OR WHO I WAS WITH BECAUSE I DON'T KEEP ANYTHING FROM HIM! SO, HE PICKS THE LOCK AND COMES IN AND YELLS AT ME TO SIT DOWN OR I'LL BE PUT OUT OF MY OWN HOUSE LOCKED OUT ON THE PORCH DECK 1 STORY HIGH! I TURN AROUND AND LOOK AT HIM AND SAID, WHAT"! HE SHOWS ME AS HE IS DELETING THE NAMES AND NUMBERS OF THESE PEOPLE THAT HE HAS NO WAY OF CONTACTING THEM OR THEY HIM! SO, HE SAYS TO ME, THIS IS THE END OF IT, WE SHOULD HAVE NO REASON TO FIGHT ABOUT THIS ANYMORE! RIGHT? HE SAYS TO ME. I'M JUST LOOKING AT HIM LIKE I AM HURT AND SHOCKED AT THE SAME TIME! HE SAYS, I'LL TAKE YOUR SILENCE AS A YES!
FLABERGASTED!
2006-09-25 14:45:22 · 20 answers · asked by Baby 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
what should I do to make him realize, I am not his child and that he has no right to threaten me like that? I slept in a seperate room last night, what should I do tonight?
2006-09-25 14:49:45 · update #1
I can't just up and leave! I have a baby and a three year old to care for and I don't have any friends around here, friends period! I just moved here because this is around where he lived and where he and I got married! What bothers me the most is why he would treat me like I'm the one that was wrong when he's the one who can't be trusted!? he was never like this before!
2006-09-25 15:18:45 · update #2
I just talked with my husband and everything is resolved now!
2006-09-25 15:57:14 · update #3
but I'm not sleeping with him tonight!
2006-09-25 16:02:16 · update #4
There are at least two issues: Other women calling and his response to you finding out about them.
From my stand point, the second is the more serious.
Honestly, both of you need to seek professional help to salvage not just your marriage but your life. Left on its own it will just get worse.
Acting childish by locking doors, changing locks, yelling and threatening retaliation is counter-productive.
Oh, by the way, I am a guy and if I were ever foolish enough to do that to my wife, whom I love dearly, I would be a dead man.
2006-09-25 15:23:42 · answer #1 · answered by deepndswamps 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be helpful to seek counseling. If you are upset in any fashion, it would be healthier to know that you can approach the other. Retreating in the bathroom is a signal that there is a dominance game being played. Also, once he picked the lock, you have no choice but to feel threatened. If he wants this marriage to work, he will agree to counseling so that you can work together to resolve issues. As far as speaking with other women. Yeah-NO. I don't think so. That ain't working for me.
2006-09-25 16:15:08 · answer #2 · answered by Serendipity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well personally I have been married 6 years and I have a cell phone and No man calls me on my phone not even my friends husbands unless there wife is with me and they wish to speak with her, my husband never has other women call him I myself would flip. My husband would too, its not that we dont trust eachother it is just that out of respect for one another we dont cross that line. Not to mention that there isnt any reason why his friends wifes should be calling him and vise versa. However some marriages are different than others so it just depends on how your marriage is, if you have always excepted others calling eachother than your husband probably thinks it is okay with you and that your not bothered by it. Now that he knows just see how it goes from here. Good Luck.
2006-09-25 14:53:10 · answer #3 · answered by justme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you both need to approach this matter in a mature and calm manner. Just the facts please.
Either he is screwing around by secretly having more intimate relationships than he suspects you would tolerate with the subject women or you have the story wrong and he has a legitimate reason for contacting them Do their husbands know that your man is takling to their wives?
2006-09-25 14:53:35 · answer #4 · answered by Bob G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, men don't seem to have the same views on this sort of situation as we do. Things that we think are problems in a relationship, they are often unaware that they have done anything wrong or they are oblivious to why we are upset. Secondly, If it happened again, I would personally take a hammer to his cell phone. I'm not kidding either. Good luck!
2006-09-25 14:49:25 · answer #5 · answered by Maggie Mae 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you know that the friends wives were calling him and not the actual friend? Next time check to see how long the call duration was. The wife may have just been calling to see if her husband was with him.
2006-09-25 14:50:43 · answer #6 · answered by ♡chele♡ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your not a child then don't act like one by blowing up and running to the bathroom, tell him that you would appreciate if no more women calls his phone anymore, if he respects that fine, if he don't, you don't have to be put out, leave because then it's obviouse that he doesn't respect you or your feelings, and no matter what you feel for him keep in mind that if he doesn't feel the same way you are not going to be happy.
2006-09-25 15:15:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me...you can't trust him!
Keep a close watch. They can still call his phone even if he's deleted their number (temporarily) off of his cell phone.
PS: Keep an eye out for a secret phone that he may purchase and keep from you so that you cannot monitor his evil ways.
Good Luck.
2006-09-25 14:51:30 · answer #8 · answered by Chicka B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first answerer, investigate further. As for him kicking you out, has he ever done anything that mean and hurtful before? It seems he doesn't take your feelings seriously. He flat out told you what to do, no questions asked. Hes acting like your concerns are unimportant.
2006-09-25 14:56:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what, this is weird cause something like this happened to me. I'll tell you what happened then tell you what I did.
About this time last year my husband asks if I'd like to go to the coast to see a good friend of mine. So I ask him why? Cause, he's never asked that before, so he says "OH so I can see Sarah." Sarah is a friend of his from about 5 years ago, he was friends with Sarah's boyfriend as well, but he is no longer in the picture. Now, we all used to hang out before Sarah and Dawn (my husband's ex girlfriend and Sarah's best friend) started talking about me behind my back saying a bunch of nonsence that was so not even close to true. Any how, he made a big deal out of the fact that I wanted to go with him, so I said, fine but you'd better believe this will happen right back to you one day. You should put yourself in my place and see how it feels. So he said I could go with him, and I told him, thank you but I never wanted to go with you in the first place, its just you always want to be up my ars when I go see my friends, but then you demand I not go with you to your friends. So, I am not going. Then, he starts talking to her and Dawn behind my back for months, and we fought about it constantly, not because he was talking to them but behind my back. Finally, I had enough and started doing the same thing to him, I started talking to an ex boyfriend and other guy friends of mine that he didn't like me talking to because he (and I know) they still have a thing for me. Well, I left a nice bunch of bread crumbs and when he finally said something, I told him it isn't very nice now is it? He decided to stop talking to them behind my back, and about a week later infact Sarah decided she was going to start her crap again and this time work on breaking up our marriage which caused him to completly cut off communication with them. I hope that can help you at least a little bit.
2006-09-25 14:56:17 · answer #10 · answered by Vix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋