i wrote this ...about the guy i like
Hopeless Hope
I see you
Yet you do not see me
Not for what I am
To you I am but a person
Rambling on and on
Yet I see you and think perfection
How can this happen?
A love so strong not returned?
For you are blind
Seeing all, thinking nothing
Feeling nothing
For I feel it all
Love, pain, happiness, sorrow…
All for you
2006-09-25 14:19:19 · 9 answers · asked by savvyfullhouse 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
wow thanks for the answers so far! umm...all i can say is i dont liek big words...that's why none are used..adn i am in 19th grade...soo if that also explains the lack of big words..yeah...it's about a major crush i have on this guy that has been goign on for like a year or so now...wow
thanx! i didnt know people would think ti was good..i just wanted to submit it to our school art magazine! thankyou guys! and any more hints so i can write some more..its what i do when i'm bored!
2006-09-25 14:45:03 · update #1
This poem really speaks from the heart. It has great depth and feeling. If you continue writing like this, we may be reading your work from the pages of a published book. As for the boy, no one knows what the future holds.
I wish you a wonderful "connection".
2006-09-25 14:41:38 · answer #1 · answered by Bethany 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like it. As you develop, you will learn methods to make it even stronger while keeping the emotions which you express here.
For example, you could put in some comparison with something burning like the sun or coals or something else and then place it beside something cold like Pluto which would stand for him but that would be another poem which could be interesting.
2006-09-25 21:25:56 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's good enough. are you happy with that? when writing a poem you have to make it where there will be something about it that people will remember and remember about it. why is it special? was it worth writing? throw in some complex words in there and it might have the caliber of a classic.
2006-09-25 21:30:13 · answer #3 · answered by Eryc 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Need depth beyond the simple infatuation.
2006-09-25 21:40:19 · answer #4 · answered by Labatt113 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW. Finally sum1 has talent good enough to write a REALLY good poem. =]
2006-09-25 21:26:59 · answer #5 · answered by _~^*^~_ Ninja Fighter_~^*^~_ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's simple, but very nice. Try adding some more imagery.
2006-09-25 21:27:33 · answer #6 · answered by jassee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
simple, deep, it seems that you are a little bit dissapointed, that you want to reach some "nirvana", ... you are in love but it does it matter to you!.. i like the poem!
2006-09-25 21:26:32 · answer #7 · answered by mmmh? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is a REALLY good poem. you did a great job. =)
2006-09-25 21:21:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like it....
2006-09-25 21:27:01 · answer #9 · answered by So_Needless_2_Say 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋