Coping skills for a teen with ODD? I am at wits end.?

Question

My young teen son has ODD (never diagnosed, so it's Oppositional Defiant Disorder-"like" behavior. He has always been fussy and argumentative. Most of the time I can deal with it, but tonight he wore me out and we had a verbal battle. his father travels a great deal, this has strained our marriage into ruin. his brother is doing well, but is frustrated by the amount of negative energy his brother brings into the house.

My dad had a stroke, and with work and all the stress from my son, I haven't been able to do any counseling lately. I will try, but does anyone have any other ideas for coping? I pray a great deal, but to be honest, I can't help but feel betrayed that He gave me more than I can handle.

I feel like such a failure as a mother, and it's a great deal of pain/guilt to bear.

Thanks for any serious thoughts.

Answer 1

ok most of the answers i saw look like junk to me. and the one where you are being beged to enrol in some program, that i am ure is a scam. dont do it.

now to the problem i would sugest you call the boys and girls town hotline (its a national 24/7 teen/parent help line) they hae counclers that might can help. that number is 1-800-448-3000.

i also have a freind who spends his whole life helping teens and their parents. his name is Matt Herbster and he works at "the wilds" a teen camp in the mountians of NC, his number is 1-828-884-7811 for his office or 1-828-553-7846 for his cell.
he is my frist choice for good councling.

Answer 2

ALL teenagers have some kind of ODD. I mean, they are all arguementative and defiant to some degree. It's important here to find out whether this behavior has crossed the line into a serious problem or whether he is just going through a tough teenagehood and adding to all your stress.

I can't tell you that. You have to decide. If you feel it is serious enough, please get help for your son. At least find a counselour to speak to about your own stress and your own feelings. You say you have no time for counseling. But you need to think of counseling as being as necessary for you and your son as taking life saving medicines.

Dealing with teenagers is never easy and when you add emotinal disorders on top of it, then the stress can be overwhelming. You are not a failure as a parent as long as you don't give up on your son.

You don't mention how old your son is. Is there no group in your town or someone outside the family that could take him under their wing? Just a few hours a week apart might give you and he a break. Bowling legues, boy scouts, youth sports teams?

If your son is having the same troubles at school then perhaps the school would be willing to help you have your son assessed. (And if he is diagnosed with ODD or another condition, then the school can work with your family.)

Answer 3

Believe Me, Don't Feel Like Your A Failure Of A Mother. It Sounds Like Your Doing More Then Most. I'd Suggest Making Time To Spend "Quality Time" With Your Son. And Figure Out A Way Of Him Expressing Himself Other Then Defying Everything You Say. I Babysit For Four Kids (Brothers And Sisters), One Who Is Deaf, The Other Who Has ODD, One With ADHD, And The Fourth Is As Normal As Pie. Their Mom Makes Time Set Aside For Each One Of Them. They Sit, And Talk, And Spend Time Together. Prayer Is Good. And God Wont Give You More Then You Can Handle. Because He Is Always There For You. My Mom Used To Say When Me And My Brother Misbehaved, That We Were Gods Children. God Has Faith That You Are The Best Person To Raise Your Children. That Is Why You Have Them. Focus On The Good Things Between You And Your Son. And Make Sure He Understands Why His Behavior Isn't Acceptable At Times. It Might Just Be A Communication Issue. Or He Might Just Want To Spend More Time Around You, And He Doesn't Know How To Express This In A Positive Way. Children Crave Attention. They Don't Care Whether It Is Good Or Bad Attention. If They Get The Attention They Want. They Got Their Way. That Is Why Quality Time Is Good For Both Of You.


I Have To Agree With The Preservative THing As Well. Most Processed Foods Arnt Good For Anybody. They Caus eChemicle Imbalances That Affect Your Health, And Moods.

Answer 4

I work at a mental health clinic with these types of clients and one of the best suggestions I can give you is to go in and get the "official" diagnosis...even though it is just a "label" it will open up many resources for you. Family counseling is awesome and a day treatment program is a great option, but you need the diagnosis to qualify.

Buy yourself a nice relaxation cd or a guided imagery cd. Incense, candles, brief times alone...a bubble bath for example can be wonderful ways to unwind and recharge.

Answer 5

I'm not going to pretend to know what you are going through, but I do have something of an argumentative, stuborn pre-schooler.

Do you think that maybe he needs a strong male role-model? You said that his father isn't are he isn't aound much and mayby he isn't relating to you (a female) well? Can you encourage him to get involved with a sport or boy scouts or something like that? Maybe just a different person influencing him could help. Besides, if he is in soccer or something you will get some much needed time to yourself.

Don't be so hard on yourself, we all feel like failures as parents at one time or another (at least I do).

Good Luck

Answer 6

All you need to do is get some mediciation for ur son. when he gets mad just try and calm him down,. dont get rash because it makes a person with ODD worse and more defiant ( I have ODD, not agreeing with ur son or his actions but saying what my family does that helps it) sometimes they will agree with you but someting in their body wont let them verbally agree. i bet u know all htat though. councleing doesnt work very well, (atleast not for me) it just makes the person more defient and then they wont talk about their problems. just stick to occasional chats with the family, whe i say chats i mean chats, not screaming yelling arguments kind of chats. try not to yell, just let him vent his anger , get him into weight training or sports, take his mind off of what you do and his ODD. works for me. most people with ODD have anger issues, so be aware of that, hopefully not physical anger. what ur son says while trying to prove a point or just yelling is not really true, but his way of releasing his emotions, true or not. but just trying to prove a point, has to have the last word.

so for you i would suggest after a argement or after you have had enough, go for a walk in the park, do somthing relaxing. try to get your son to bond better with you. he will become less defiant with you. and no, God will not give you more that you can handle, He gave u that much because He knows that you can handle it better that others. take that as a compliment, He is pointing out that you are mentally stronger than others that have an easy life. but if you talk with family members or close friends about your situation, it should work well. get a pet(s), it will keep your family occupied. what ever you do do not break down in front of u kid, they/he will stop feeling sorry for you, and kind of feel annoyed when you break down, they will not care as much, and after you break down, it happens more frequently, just take this one step at a time, it usually works. well i said what works for my family, i bet urs might be diff, just do what works best.

Answer 7

Get the book Cures They Don't Want YOu To Know About. My husband and I suffered from this same illness and we found that taking fish oil really helps. They come in a pill form. Also, this might be caused by a preservitive that your son is eating.

As far as relaxing, take a walk everyday if you can. Get a nice relaxing CD and listen to it.

Answer 8

Im sorry. try taking some time just for u. maybe a couple minutes a day to forget about everything and rest for awhile. thats wat i do wen im overwhelmed. just take time to breathe and clear ur mind

Answer 9

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Why should you continue:


To be ashamed of your child?

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To have your child’s behavior put stress on your marriage and your life?

To feel like you have no control over your child, your family, and your home?


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Sincerely,

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ADD ADHD Advances


P. S. Nature has given you everything you need to tame your difficult child. You just need to learn exactly what to do. Enroll Now and begin to teach your child better behavior today.

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Tomorrow, it might be too late!

Answer 10

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