i am married to the guy whom i fell in love with...we had lond distance relation for 2 yrs b4 we were married..and we met only like once in 12 months...during that time he used to watch porn and i came to later this later...and i was all upset and its been 2 yrs and he has never watched ane...ofcourse i have always around as i am not working now...but recently i checked my comp log i see that he had been seeing something like boot shake dances ,nip slips,sexy dances and stuff on you tube...i got so furious and i made a big deal..i was like i started to trust u and again u hurt me...he was like whats the big deal in me watching those things...no nudity and nothing...u are treating me like a school kid and stuff....
well...he got into all grr mood and he was like if u treat me like this then its very difficult to live together....
well..i don't know ...i get very annoyed and angry...not insure (just to make it clear)...if i get bored i see all the comedy stuff...on youtube .
2006-09-25 13:42:11 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
but why does he see only these kind....like booty shakes,sexy dance and boobs and stuff....
inspite of me being angry he does this....and he is not guilty abt it...and this time he had cleared viewing history....but i checked and it showed recent log...
i am so annoyed with the attitude with him..
i want to know is...am i making a big deal?is this natural for guys?
what would u guys advice me?
please help me...this fight has gone on many time b4...and it had made me so angry and depressed...
he has been great husband or else..please need ur advice...
2006-09-25 13:45:43 · update #1
Well, I am married also, newly, and my husband watches porn every once in a while(not as much as he used to). It used to make me so mad I would yell at him, but then I realized that the little stuff I do now makes a lot of difference. For example, I tease him a lot. I put on panties or little shorts and dresses that I know will get his attention and when he's watching I get in his view and bend over or other little cute things to distract him. This will work I'm telling you. It'll be like a fantasy for him. Plus it may help him watch less porn and more of you. He still watches porn a little, but now I don't care because I know I can easily distract him from that now. I hope this helps.
2006-09-25 14:00:55 · answer #1 · answered by Dominique F 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
lighten up. I watch you tube also. and break.com and kontraband.com and shooshtime.com and somtimes ill click on a video that has a half naked chick on the front of it or if it says nipslip because 9 times outa 10 the video has some form of humor in it. and if it doesnt then whatever i saw a boob big deal and i move on to the next video. the funnyest videos i find on youtube.com are ones like where this guy and girl are trying to film a porn video and they get in a argument about somthing and the camera guy just kept filming, it was hilrious! the guy is just bored and wants some intertainment, I do the same thing when im bored and online. does it mean im "looking" at other girls? nope. does it mean i dont love my girlfriend as much? nope. does it change anything at all in this world? nope. i have seen a boob i have seen a *** and i seen snatch millions times before just like your husband/boyfriend did, and im just trying to get some intertainment. so is he.
2006-09-25 13:47:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
My ex bf used to do the same thing. I know now that it was insecurity for the most part. He liked it that I watched it with him. It's a problem if it affects your sex life, for example, he can only gets it off when he watches porn. He can work with you on this by letting you in many ways that you're better than what he's watching.
2006-09-25 14:00:09 · answer #3 · answered by webmail0806 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your right to get upset. think of it this way, if his porn watching is such a not big deal, than why is he getting so upset and refusing to give it up if it makes u happy? if he really loved u, he would be happy to do something that would make u happy.
his habit is obviously an adiction, u two should go to therapy together to resolve this issue, if he refuses to go and get help in order to be the best man he can be for u, than he's not worth a second glance. *hugs* u need someone who is going to treat u tenderly, and listen to how u feel about things, i know if the women i loved was suffering becuase of something i did, i would feel terible..
2006-09-25 13:50:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here's my advise! Watch a pron together, make your own porn or strip for him. Next time you see him get on the computer to do his thing, interrupt him. Go sit between him and the screen and give him a little lap dance! Maybe that's all he wants, but he's just afraid to ask. Take the clues he's dropping to you, to heart! pdqnlq_3106@yahoo.com
2006-09-25 14:00:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is a good husband and he is not cheating on you, then I would just tell him that I disapproved of him watching porn, however if its the worst he has done, feel priveleged. My husband does not watch porn but I know alot of single and married men that do. I think its just something they want to see. If my husband watched it, I honestly dont think I would care. Of course I dont want to see it, but if that was his choice, then as long as he does it without me having to view it, then it would be ok with me. Now, if he was becoming obsessed with it, that would be a different story. Good luck!!
2006-09-25 13:57:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no issue with the media he chooses to watch.
You were very aware of this on several occasions.
If this offended you so much why did you get married?
If this is a hill worth dieing over confront him and set some ground rules as to what your expectations are.
If you continue to freak out he will continue to do it behind your back and then there is no trust. With no trust or understanding he will never confide in you on bigger issues. Don't drive him away!
2006-09-25 13:56:17 · answer #7 · answered by r g 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well fist, we are human, all our opinions are biased, so sorry I can't.
Here is my best biased one:
I think porn is mostly ok and falls into the fantasy category, as long as the folks making it are old enough and know what they are doing.
Maybe ask him whats so good about it, watch it with him maybe, ask what he is thinking, maybe he won't want it if can please him. Maybe he would when you are not here anyway. Men are different from women and individual people are different from each other.
2006-09-25 13:47:55 · answer #8 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should re-read what you wrote & fix it so that it makes more sense.
I would suggest that you control your anger & learn to deal another way. You're only hurting yourself by getting so upset. Have a heart to heart with him & make sure he knows exactly how you feel about it. If he can't respect your feelings then re-evaluate your relationship. He should stop for you; If you truly mean everything to him.
2006-09-25 14:12:50 · answer #9 · answered by bcre8ive2day 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
play by ear tell him exactly what u want it's me or the tube porno some my way or the hi way tell him put yourself together and start vibrating in more serious direction he keeps u kind on stand by stretching elastic and he prays to god so won't snap sit down and talk to him is he still committed to u 100% or less and take the action cus time is money and money is time good luck
2006-09-25 13:52:14 · answer #10 · answered by george p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋