So my girl friend and I are not together right now. I love her with all of my heart and she feels the same way about me. She left me after 3 years because when we first started going out I had abused her physically it hasnt happened in about 2 years now because I almost lost her because of it after it happened and she gave me a chance and I made sure it never happened again so I didn't hurt her or lose her. Recently her mom was in an abusive relationship and the guy had came into her house and choked her mom. i know this really scared my girl friend and it caused her to recall all those thoughts of the abuse. She said she couldn't take a chance of that happening again so we can't be together because I know it won;t happen again but she says she needs to know that. So i am going to start a group therapy next week not just to get her back but so i know what i am saying to her is the truth and to ensure her that i never want those things to happen again.
2006-09-25 13:32:38 · 11 answers · asked by Cursive 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It is easier to believe you when you act on what you say, rather than make promises. By going to therapy, you are taking a good first step. She needs time to completely trust you again, don't rush her.
2006-09-25 13:35:34 · answer #1 · answered by JillA 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol seriously admitting you did wrong and that you had a problem and being willing to do some thing about it and actually doing the group thing is fantastic most men wouldn't and she will see that you are truly sorry with time and she will also forgive and it will prove to her that you are committed enough to her to do this lol but most of all she will see just how much you truly love her yes domestic violence hurts but it also leave very bad scars not the type you can see rather emotional ones that run very deep she needs to also ask for some kind of help because even tho you will support her and you are getting help she still will have some kind of after effect from this and she needs to heal those wounds too just as you do congrats for being a man and not a coward and saying this is every one Else's fault you really are a great person and take care.
2006-09-25 20:45:28 · answer #2 · answered by angelsrose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back off. She just had a bad experience that reminded her of how awful it was when you were her abuser.
Keep your distance but let her know in a friendly way what you're up to, give her an update once in a while. Encourage her to go to an abused-womens group as well.
Whether you are the abuser or the abusee, nothing is going to change until you reach out for help.
2006-09-25 20:36:28 · answer #3 · answered by booktender 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is a very noble thing you are doing. If you doing this doesnt show her you are ready to have a loving, abusive-free relationship, maybe she isint the person you should give your heart to, i wish you luck. Sounds like your headed in the right direction!!
2006-09-25 20:37:06 · answer #4 · answered by J. J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her to come to therapy with you so she can see first hand that you've changed and you'd never hurt her. Then maybe she'll take you back. And you can tell her if she still has any doubt after the therapy sessions then she should take a self-defense class just in case so she can kick your ***.
2006-09-25 20:36:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The group therapy is a good step, it will help you and also show her your trying, try and win her back again but take it slowly and reassure her every step of the way, hopefully she will give you another chance.good luck
2006-09-25 20:38:59 · answer #6 · answered by sadistic_bondagelover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is the first step. without stress/anger management or a domestic violence group... chances are you will abuse her again, maybe not this yr or the next five but it will happen if you do not confront this issue.
2006-09-25 20:36:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay so whats your problem? it sounds like you already solved it. u made the right choice by going to the group therapy. this shows that you really love her and will do anything for her!
2006-09-25 20:36:32 · answer #8 · answered by Ariel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
'Well you really must care for her, so you made the right choice in seeking help. No one needs to be abused, and she was smart enough to realize it, give her credit for it. abuse solves nothing, and only leads to an abnormal life........you don 't want that!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-25 20:38:21 · answer #9 · answered by zuriel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cme on can u blame her? get help then it will be her decision, things happen for a reason, u may find some1 else in Therapy
2006-09-25 20:37:47 · answer #10 · answered by VEROMEX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋