what are the names of the guys in system of a down?

Answer 1

Serj Tankian- vocals
Daron Malakian-guitarist
Shavo Odadjian-bass
John Dolmayan-drums

Answer 2

SERJ TANKIAN | Lead Vocals
SHAVO ODADJIAN | Bass
DARON MALAKIAN | Lead Guitar
JOHN DOLMAYAN | Drums

Answer 3

who really cares , it's all about thrash metal listen to SEPULTURA the old ones and spread the message out , just try 'em u would love 'em

Answer 4

http://www.soad1.co.nr

Answer 5

way to go old school, sepultura,slayer,S.O.D., kreator and exodus...check them out too

Answer 6

System of a Down
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

System of a Down dancing in the desert, although, they are not blowing up the sunshine because ******* John Dolmayan left the ammo back at the station."More fun than a barrel of monkeys!"


~ Queen Elizebeth II on Connect Four
"Where can I get some of that banana banana terracotta pie?"


~ Curious George on System's song Bananabananabananabananabananabananaterracottapie
"I must say they are quite the dickheads."


~ Oscar Wilde on System of a Down
"I, Oscar Wilde, apologise to the general public for my previous quote. It was bad & wrong. I have no quarrel with System of a... HELP ME!! they're forcing me at gun point to take back what I... Urk....burbage"


~ Oscar Wilde on System of a Down shortly after his other quote
"In Soviet Russia, Malakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakian spells YOU!!."


~ Russian Reversal on System of a Down
System of a Down (sometimes referred to as S.O.A.D or Al Qaeda) is a highly dangerous band/terrorist organisation from Israel, Palestine. 97% of all non-deaf humans consider them to seriously be the best ******* band to ever exist. In a related study 97% of all non-deaf humans have been found to be legally mentally retarded. The band consists of Serj Tankian (Lead Singer, keyboards, Lead jihad), John Dolmayan (Drums, suicide bomber), Daron Malakian (Guitar,Back-Up Singer, Bombmaker) and Terri Shavo (Bass, sniper, archer, vegetable, Queen of all you see before ye), who are known more for their outspoken social and political views found in their songs than for their distinctive dress styles, goatees, and anything normal concerning their lives. All four members are of terrorist ancestry. The band also has no piercings or tattoos; this is rumored to be a diversion. They are well known for their middle-eastern themed propaganda music. Their continuous appraisal of their own responsibility for the death of 1,000,207 Turks is shown in every single one of their songs where they scream: "ALLAH ACKBAR! ITS A TRAP! ALLAH ACKBAR!"

Contents [hide]
1 History
2 Style and Influences
3 Members
3.1 Previous Members
3.2 Andy Khachaturian
3.3 John F Kennedy
3.4 Kano Balalaikan
3.5 Frank Sinatra
3.6 Binge and Purge
3.7 Current Members
4 Serj Tankian
4.1 John Dolmayan
4.2 Shavo Odadjian
4.3 Daron Malakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakian
5 Nu-Terrorists or not?
6 Facts
7 Quotes
7.1 Daron Malakalakalakalakalakian
7.2 Shavo Odadjian
7.3 Serj Tankian
7.4 John Dolmayan
8 Famous people System of a Down have confessed to murdering
9 Albums
10 Notable Songs
11 See Also

[edit]History
"SHOOGAAAHH!"


~ Daron Malakianianianian and his silly voice
In 1998, the band released their cleverly titled debut album, System of a Down. The band enjoyed moderate success, with their first single 'Sugar in the bombs make them go boom!' becoming a radio favorite and gaining a sequal on the album 'Steal your uranium'. The singles 'Crush Them Like Spiders' and 'War Kicks ***!' followed. System of a Down toured and fought extensively. The band's big break came when their critically acclaimed sophomore album "Throw Toxic Waste In Their Rivers" debuted at #1 on the Terrorist and Canadian charts, eventually achieving multi-platinum certification, and the death of 100,000 European children during a concert. The album has since (before then, but not after when I am not talking about) sold 5 million copies worldwide. The album was #1 in America on the week of the September 11, 2001 peace-making attacks and the political environment caused by the peace-making added to the controversy surrounding their hit single 'Chop Suey In Half!' caused it to be taken off radio and bar menus everywhere. Neverless the audio gained constant play on MTV as did the second single 'Toxic Waste is Edible, eat it you american pig!'. Even with the controversy surrounding 'Chop Suey In Half!', for which they earned a Grammy nomination, System of a Down still received constant airplay in the United Arab Emirates. The Album Featured 'Prison The Turks Song', 'Needles Are Fun', 'You (Americans) Dance When Shot', 'Jets Pilot Into Your Buildings', ' X(Multiply The Power Of our bombs)' , 'Chop Suey In Half', 'Jump (A cover of van halens song)', 'For Osama', 'WWBY (We Will Bomb You)', 'Science Made Us Guns', 'Shimmy To Avoid Fire', 'Toxic Waste is Edible, eat it, you american pig!', 'Pshychopaths' and 'Aerials Will ******* Fall (The chant at the end says die you american pig)'

It was no surprise when, a year following their extremely successful sophomore effort, System of a Down claimed credit for the abomibable attacks on listeners incited by an album compiled of the dregs of previous studio sessions. 'Steal This Uranium!', as the album came to be called, was unprecedented in anticipation, promotion, and disappointment. Riding on the band-name recognition of a slurry of second-rate tracks including 'Cock N' Shoot', 'Hippieviewpoint', 'Rubble', 'Boom (Take That America)!', 'Shootguns', 'ADD (One More to the Body Count)', 'Mr. Muhammad Omar Abdullah', 'A-C-R-O-N-Y-M', '666', 'Camel Trail Tune', 'F**k the Infidels', 'Eat Your Own Brain', 'Craters n' Graves', 'Spinny Guess Thing', and 'Stream-of-Consciousness Songwriting', 'Steal This Uranium!' nevertheless wasn't quite unstomachable enough to cause the damage to American listeners that the band had intended. It can, however, be pointed to as a case study of the thoroughly uncapitalistic and artistically dignified motives that led System of a Down to pass off their justly forsaken out-takes as a viable album.

From 2005 to 2005, the band produced a double album from their prison cells, Mezmerize/Hypnotize, with each being released separately to make even more money than ever before. The deaths recorded during the publishing of these albums where remarkably low, a few from the awesomeness of the song "Old School Bollywood" and a few from the suicide bombings (they called in their terrorist buddies to do the recording/mixing, etc.) The first part, Mezmerize, was released in May, 2005, to favorable reviews by critics. It debuted at #1 in the United States, Canada, Australia and all around the world, making it their second #1 album. First week sales rocketed to over 8 copies worldwide. The explosive first single B.U.Y.B (Blow Up Your Bombs)' which demands every children of the world to go out and kill their parents using their own bombs, worked its way up the Billboard Modern Rock and Mainstream Rock charts. The next single, 'Question your religion, do you really want to go to islamic hell', was released next with bassist Shavo Odadjian co-directing the video. Following the release of Mezmerize, the band toured extensively throughout the United States and Canada with The Mars Volta supporting. Question! was one of the most controversial songs on the album, with lyrics ordering fathers to forcibly insert forks in their anus and question themselves if they are happy with their Capitalist way of life and religion or face the wrath of Allah and hell.

Following the release of the 'Hypnotize' single, the second part of the Mezmerize/Hypnotize double album, Hypnotize was released in November, 2005. Like Mezmerize it debuted at #1 in the US, making them the first band since a Beatle to ever have two #1 studio albums in the same year. The album has had a strong critical response.

Another unique feature of System of a Down was that they released singles from the first half of their double album after the second half's release, after the Statue of Liberty in New York plundered to the ground, they released their single "Sad Statue", making this statement "YOU AND ME WILL ALL GO DOWN IN HISTORY FOR PWNING THE POOR STATUE OF LIBERTY!!!~!!!!!1!!~!"

The songs of the band's latest album "Hypnotise" (aka "Hypnotize") have several songs which fans of system of a down have called classics and by far the greatest songs in history, when pleading to the band for their lives. These songs where

"Attack": a song about the somewhat contreversial issue of whether it is okay to attack political figures with lions and machine-guns.
"Kill Rock 'N' Roll": The lyrics of this song explain in graphic detail a tale of when the band held Rock 'N' Roll for ramsom, but unfortunatley tortured & mutilated him to death by "accident".
"Holy Mountains": This song was banned in UK and Australia due to beliefs that it was a song created with intentions to convert SOADs listener by teaching them of the holy mountains of Pakistan.
"She's like heroin": This song is only banned in the UK, because our buddy Serj, was at a nightclub with Queen Elizabeth, where he thought that she reminded him of the sweet wholesomeness of heroin. The "he" in the lyrics was refering to Bill Clinton, who also happened to be in the nightclub........ in a little dress.....
And "Lonely Day" is a tragic song Daron wrote about the day AFTER he'd eaten Queen Elizabeth, referred to in the lyrics as "The most lonliest day of my life."
The music appeal for System Of A Down is diverse. It's rhythms consist mainly of a single chord thrashed up and down with with lots of hardcore terrorist melody so the band can duplicate the sound of a suicide bomb. The Singing is largely middle eastern inspired as most the band members are terrorists as mentioned earlier in this article. SOAD also maintains a strong progressive rock element, using some violin and other classical instruments on their recordings. When they play during their live concerts they actually send john into the audience with a live bomb, thank allah for cloning.

[edit]Style and Influences
The style of System of a Down is described as extremely angry, violent, frightening, terrorist, and somewhat schizophrenic. Their songs generally transition from frantic energetic screaming to soft, slow happiness at the drop of a hat. They can be compared to drugs, first bliss, than hangovers or trips. In every single song they have recorded, this is done at least 15 times. How they pulled this off continues to be debated. Another unique aspect of System of a Down is their use of many unusual instruments. In their five studio albums, they have included guitars, drums, bass, dulcimers, autoharps, balalaikas, paper bags, VCR's, didgeridoos, zithers, banjos, sitars, mandolins, harmonicas, crack pipes, home-security systems, vibraphones, kazoos, trumpets, trombones, William Hung, sousaphones, bassoons, piccolos, Gokus, Veggetas, spoons, fog horns, leg horns, washboards, drum machines, wooden sticks, rocks, heavier rocks, rocks even heavier than the heavier ones, bowling alleys, Poland, 12-string guitars, whistles , the digestive system of a bull, synthesizers, gongs, flügelhorns, saxophones, clarinets and the Philadelphia, London, and Duluth, Minnesota Symphony Orchestras. AK47's, RPG's, C4, MP4's, AK54's and Desert Eagles Are Used During Live Perfprmances. Their main influences are most noticeably taken from earlier alternative terrorist bands such as Pink Floyd.

[edit]Members
[edit]Previous Members
[edit]Andy Khachaturian
AKA That one wot blew up

All but one of the current members of SOAD were alive when it first started. The original drummer, Andy Khachaturian, was tragically killed when he spontaneously combusted on stage during their first show.





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[edit]John F Kennedy
AKA John F Kennedianaian/Muhamed/JFK/Geoff Kay


John F Kennedy before he quit the band.
John F Kennedy was originally the screamer for System of a Down but he was forced to quit the band as he kept shouting "Um..." and "Er..." during their screaming sessions. After John F. said his goodbyes to the band he then told them that he was in fact American. From that day forth the band set out to destroy John. On November 9th, 1345 the replacement screamer Serj Tankian grabbed a rifle and snuck into the Texas book depository in Dallas, Texas. There he waited to assassinate John. John Dolmayan also waited to shoot Kenedy from behind a grassy and rather unrealistic Knoll. As the president approached, Shavo Odadjian filmed the events. His film later became known as ["The Zapruder Film"]

While this was transpiring, System of a Down had just released a new album called "We Like to do it with Girls" and JFK felt it was required of him to listen to it to hear how the band was going without him. However, the album was too good for anyone to hear. Kennedy's head asploded out of sheer amazement of how good it was.

Gandhi has always been blamed for this.


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[edit]Kano Balalaikan
AKA Meatbag

Despite his rather perculiar surname Balalaikan isn't actually a terrorist/theivin'-arab, he is actually a completley English. After System of a Down's 1st performance Balalaikan was so amused that he got up and did a dance in honour of it. However he didn't realise that this dance was rather offensive to the religion that SOAD followed (Islam aka terrorism) The band members held their guns and their spare guns at him and ordered him to turn himself inside out or else they would. Balalaikan feared for his life and began to recite the lord's prayer. Daron Malalalalal.. was so angered by the fact that he had to suffer through hearing the text of another religion that the atoms in his body compressed turning him into a black hole for 2 seconds. When he asumed his body again he madly whipped Balalaikan whith Shavo Odidjain's prehensile beard and then started stabbing Balalaikan. In a bloodlust driven haze Daron accidently stepped on Shavo's Bass, snapping all of his strings. Serj then proceeded to grab the intestines off Balalaikan and tie them to Shavo's Bass. Suprisingly this made Shavo's bass sound even better than before. Balalaikan was the bass guitar for SOAD untill after the second album when Daron ate the guitar.


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[edit]Frank Sinatra

Frank Sinatra when he was part of the bandUsed to be the lead screamer before Serj Tankian kicked him out of the band with the words "My cock is much bigger than yours!!" Since then, Frank Sinatra has had a sucsessfull solo career.
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[edit]Binge and Purge

Binge
PurgeBinge and Purge are a couple of twins who we know very little about. Used to be Frank Sinatras background screamers, but were also kicked out by Serj Tankian.
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[edit]Current Members
There are currently four members of the band, all of which have funny-sounding names:


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[edit]Serj Tankian
A.K.A OLD GAS/Serj Tank-Buster


Serj Tankian, thouroughly satisfied, after eating a particularily delicious bananabananabananaterr acottabananateracottatera cottapie.The lead screamer. For a brief period of time, Tankian had a striking resemblance to the Unabomber, and was arrested at least 52 times. Currently, he has lots of crazy hair, and a goatee which consists of the shaved pubic hair of his fellow band mates. He is also a spokeman for D.A.R.E, and is said to be very effective in his teachings. This is probably because he scares the **** out of the little kids he teaches, and becuase he always comes high. Tankian also wrote an essay about bad stuff and other jibba-jabba, but nobody cared because all it amouted to was 39084390485 pages of stick figures and phrases like "I like to pee on girls" and "I like it when girls pee on me". After (trying to) read this, Daron tried to get it published. Serj is the only person know to man to have a sentient STD. this is shown by the line "my cock could walk right through the door" from his song "Cock Mongering"

Tankian also has full blown Parkinson's Disease, which is evident in his vibrating vocals. Other than having the disease, the only way you can recreate his unique sound is by cramming a vibrator down your throat, or by being a 9.0 earthquake. "tank" is a part of Serj's surname which is ironic because he spends half his time in one threatening to destroy America with his hand-crafted SUPER BOMB!!! which is inside his tank.

Serj has somehow spent enough time with a woman to harvest his seed & make a son. Serj keeps his son locked in an attic safe from the sounds of the modern world to keep him "pure". He feeds this son infidels & milk via his mothers teat. Both items of which Serj slides under the door.

Serj also just happens to be a pogo master.














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[edit]John Dolmayan

Newly modified drummer John Dolmayan,screaming " WE NEED MORE COWBELL!!! AND MORE AK'S AND C4!!!!" behind his ******* huge drum set.AKA Connie

John Dolmayan was born in Lebanon sometime after Jesus was born. His family moved to the US when the entire country broke out in a gigantic riot. He is well-known for his mad drumming skillz, and is imitated, albeit poorly, by aspiring drummers the world over. His angry, Vin Diesel-like face and snazzy outfits make him appear to be a member of the Russian Mafia. Reinforcing this image is his membership of the Russian Mafia. The Russian Mafia, thinking he'd deserted them by joining a mad-metal-music terrorist conspiracy, are still trying to hunt him down and kill him. Unfortuanately, the first bountyhunter was killed at one of Dolmayan's performances, and Malakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakian eat the second one, so the Mafia hasn't had any action in a while. Shortly after Throw Toxic Waste In Their Rivers, Dolmayan underwent extensive plastic surgery, the reason being that his normal body could not provode the drum beats asked of him, which are usaully entirely 64th notes on all drum parts. He recieved two extra arms, as well as having the muscles in his legs replaced with jackhammers and his feet reinforced with diamond shafts.


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Shavo Odadjian, with his bass and goatee preparing to attack.
Shavo Odadjian, summoning Satan.[edit]Shavo Odadjian
AK47

The bassist for System of a Down. In his youth, he spent his time skateboarding, listening to punk and heavy metal, and killing Bluegrass (it wasn't till Hypnotise that he assasinated Rock & Roll). However, he had to wear a hat to cover up his baldness, and he frequently tripped over his extremely long braided goatee. Before joining SOAD, Odadjian made a living robbing banks, kicking elderly people, and being a stunt double for Rapunzel. In many of System of a Down's songs, Odadjian uses unusual tuning for his bass. One of his more common tunings is making all the strings an octave lower than usual. This gives the E string (the largest string) the same tension as that of a longbow. Taking advantage of this, Odadjian has become a skilled archer, and frequently uses his bass to shoot arrows into the audience at concerts. To date, Odadjian has made 34 confirmed kills in this fashion. This talented bassist also spends his free time modding his bass to a "cross-bass", so he can quickly shoot as much as 4 arrows at a time, greatly improving his rate of fire. He says: "The higher the rate of fire, the better it sounds. I can also make my bass sound better by shooting explosive arrows. Imagine 4 of those arrows... Have you ever listened to the bass in "Psycho"? It sounds great because of the killing spree I went on that day... To sum it up, the most kills I score, the better my bass sounds. Now... I'm about to try poisonous arrows, would you like to be my guinea pig? It won't hurt :D!"... Lovely, isn't he?. He is rumored to bring a very large bomb to this years Ozzfest and set it off in the audience while Malakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakian eats Ozzy Osbourne.

Whilst not with the band Odadjian is known to teach scuicide bombing classes to innocent children & Fraser. His students (all dead now) said that he was a kind teacher. One reported: Odadjian is the nicest man I ever new. He would only cut me into half for breathing in public unlike my father who would cut me into eighths". Odadjian was also rememebered by his students for his humour. Most of his students thought Odadjian's "Pay attention, because I am only going to do this once!" this gag would cause their sides to split (or at least it would when he cut them in half).


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[edit]Daron Malakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakian

Daron Malakalakalakalakalakian speaks to the elderly folk of Los Angeles retirement villa. He states "**** you all you old wankers! DIE INFIDELS!DIE!!!! ALLAH ACKBED! ALLAH ACKBED!"AKA RUN AWAY!!!!

Not to be confused whith Donald Trump, Daron is the band's lead guitarist, and the person whose name is the most amusing to pronounce. In order to pull off even the simplest riffs, Malakalakala- kalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakian has given himself Parkinson's Disease. He has written most of the music, and recently has been sharing the screaming portion with Serj. His more intense screaming has resulted in him having to get vocal chord surgery 20 times in the past four minutes, and will eventually have to speak through a voice box, similar to Stephen Hawking or Ned.

Daron has been credited for many accomplishments. One is he can repell any woman that comes his way. Another is his extrodinary diet. Daron will eat anything that comes his way. Daron doesn't breath air. He EATS it! He is also known for his tactless & more importantly terrorist way of looking at life. He believes that all westerners, (especially women) should be lined up so he can eat them. Although his most perculiar attribute is that he cannot look at another religion whithout being physically sick. Sometimes Daron may read a bible so he can shoot someones head off with his incredibly powerful projectile vomit.


Daron currently lives in Hitler's home in that country out in Europe(he makes a lot of trips to the U.S.), and likes to collect candles, Persian rugs, instruments, and skulls. It is considered proper etiquette to stay at least 30 feet away from him whenever he's in public. Malakalakalakalian hobbies according to the CIA are knitting kittens together, scaring children, scarring children, masturbation & helping old ladies cross the road before eating them whole. Malakalakalakalian's sworm enemy is George Dubya Bush. It is not uncommon to see Malakalakalakalian dropping anthrax bombs upon the orphanareums recentley built by George Dubya.

Malakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakalakian is well known for this quote he said when he met the Queen of England (Betty II) :

"ROAR! Stop crying you little western *****! Stop screaming while I am trying to eat you! I SHALL DESTROY YOU!!"


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[edit]Nu-Terrorists or not?
There is some contention over the band's aggression towards Western society, regarding whether or not they are 'nu-terrorists', which can carry negative connotations and empty threats.

System of a Down have been labeled as "nu-terrorists" by some fans and media since their incarnation. This can be attributed to the release of their first album, which occurred during the nu-terrorist boom of the mid-to-late 90s, and to their continuous attacks on the American Army during the First Gulf War. Adding to this, the band toured with Ozzfest - a festival that typically features many up-and-coming terrorist bands. In contrast, their music rarely features rapped threats of violence or a DJ (Deterent Jubilee) , which are common traits of nu-terrorist groups.

Furthermore, the band does not consider themselves to be nu-terrorists. Guitarist Daron Malakalakalakalakalakian has said in a Terrorist World interview that he is glad that System of a Down had not slipped into the nu-terrorist genre. During a 2005 concert, he announced, "They used to call us nu-terrorists, now they call us Freedom Fighters. I think they'll call us anything that's popular."

Also in a 2005 interview with the Houston Press, Daron said, "Lately, we've been doing interviews, and people have been like, 'You guys are really leading the way for the nu-terrorist movement,' and I'm like, 'ALLAH ACKBAR!?' Because a couple of years ago, these guys were comparing us to Limp Bizkit and Korn, and now that we're still here and those bands aren't , they're talking about terrorism. It's just kind of aggravating that people always have to have something to compare us to, or bunch us up with. I'm not saying we're the most original band in the world, but I don't really feel that we fall into the 'nu-terrosist' category. There's a lot of stuff mixed up into one, but it still involves a lot of AK-47s and suicide bombing."

Nu-Terrorists or not, System of a Down are still often associated with nu-guns, nu-world orders, and fig nu-tons.

[edit]Facts
According to Nostradamus, next time SOAD plays in California Tank buster's vocals will cause part of it to split off and join Hawaii.
System of a Down once fought Chuck Norris while invading Texas, causing Hurricane Katrina to divert from it's original Target in Texas and hit New Orleans because it was Terrified of the sheer power displayed.
System of a Down invented Down Syndrome as a publicity stunt for their "Toxicity" album. They also invented cysts for a publicity stunt for their latest album "Terrorize".
When Sadamm Hussain was no longer of any use to them, System of a Down buried him in a hole for the United States Army to find.
The members of the band regularily play water polo.
When playing water polo, System of a Down ask Allah whether they should shoot the ball over the net or shoot the infidels
When playing water polo, System of a Down believes that Allah should decide whether they win or lose. In the mean time, KILL ALL THE INFIDELS!
Once when Shavo Odadjian was trying to take out the pope, he accidentaly mistook his Dragunov sniper for an AK47 and he wasnt able to make the range! Fortunately, a few seconds later, the pope was smoten down by Allah and no one knew what a silly mistake Shavo had made.
System of a down once ate the entire United Nations.
There was no assasination of President Kennedy. He was just listening to System of a Down on his ipod and his head exploded out of sheer amazment at how awesome they are.
The Queen rated Daron Malakalakalakalakalakian as the best sex she's ever had. She later died in hospital due to severe paper cuts from the Koran and a ruptured asshole.
A new sexualy transmited disease was created from Daron Malakalakalakalakalakian it is known as Malakalakalakalakalakian infection. Sufferer's of it will realise they have it as their pubic hairs will be tied into a fashion simular to the band members beard. People who catch this disease do not die quickly and experience a rather slow and drawn out death. They will die before they can get half way through naming the band members of system of a down. Malakalakalakalakalakian infection was caused by the band being too close to their nuclear arsenal.
Daron Malakalakalakalakalakian can open doors by screaming at them
The reason why the emperor of Japan seems to be unable to produce any male offspring is because he can't! Malakalakalakalakalakian ATE all his Y-Chromasones
Once Daron Malakalakalakalakalakian ate the laws of gravity and threw George Bush to Mars. However he then spewed them up because he saw a priest walking down the street whithout being hassled by terrorists and the sight of this made him sick because he wasn't doing it.
Simular to the way some people have crafted "Spud-guns" which are thrusted into a potatoe & the potatoe that remains in the barrel is shot out. Shavo Odadjain has a "human-head-and-anthrax-gun" which works in the same style just replacing spuds with human heads & anthrax.
Instead of playing with guitars, they play with big machine guns.
When playing "B.Y.O.B" and say "Where the **** are you!?" they kill any fan who wasn't at that concert.
the song "questions" or as they call it aL Qashma, they say "When we, when we go, do we die?" change some words and it is "when you, When you go, do u die?" Answer : yes
Newtons jr´s theory is that they write their songs (prais to allah) in 3rd person, that they write the song in their audiences perspective:
In the song BYOB< Bring your own bacon, they say "why do they allways set the clock" that is baced on what Soad do at the begining of their preformance (plant a bomb under the place where the audience sits)

System of a down had cornflakes for breakfast this morning, and urge you to follow in their footsteps, together we shall make a lovely cornflakey world were kittens and lepers can walk hand in hand and not be called gay.
After releasing 'Steal this Album', shoplifting rose 90% in America. SOAD later admitted this was their new tactic on bringing jihad to the West
The song BOOM is actually a gibberish message to fellow terrorists to blow themselves up. Notice that BOOM is said four times at once, the same amount of SOAD members there are.
Bassist Shavo Odadjian is known to play his bass guitar with all seven of the fingers on his right hand.
[edit]Quotes
[edit]Daron Malakalakalakalakalakian
"Kill that mother and her innocent freedom loving child. Allah would hate her free way of life".
"The sight of that puny teenage girl listening to western music is a disgrace to this Earth and she must be destroyed immediately."
"Everyone should die. Except Allah."
"What are you looking at you western *****? I SHALL DESTROY YOU!!!"
"WE... ARE THE CHAMPIONS... MY FRIEND..... I LOVE FREDDY MERCURY!!! and Allah."
"AICK EIK FREEKEN WEEKEN" (German for: Kill the Infidels they're in my dairy - spoken in an Indian accent)
"HOÅ I lööve Amerrika i am an Amerikkan Pupil, i had very much goose at monkey bone" - Daron makal..
[edit]Shavo Odadjian
"May your puny God protect the President. For we are coming to eat him eat him eat him eat him!"
I" love the sound of daisies being blown in the wind. Underneath SCUD missiles."
"Blessed are the meek. For they shall all be slaughtered!!"
"Oh.. Mighty Allah you are so sexy! I want to feel your holy body."
[edit]Serj Tankian
"I have a BOOMSHAKALAKALAKLAKA!"
"Rhetoric and my garden shall go walking down albian road."
"Do we, do we know. When we die. When we, when we go. Do we fly?"
"Do we all, learn defeat, from the whores, with bad feet? Beat the meat. Treat the feet, to the sweet, milky seat."
[edit]John Dolmayan
"Allah Amakka Allah Amakka!"
"Jihad Phuk Vyrone Dai"
"Derka derka derka..."
"Kahmar Jihad Gehfhaar."
"La la la lala la..."
[edit]Famous people System of a Down have confessed to murdering
Rock 'N' Roll
Queen Elizabeth
Some Hippie
John Howard
JR
Fred Phelps
Some french chick
Rakanishu
Bill Clinton
Margaret Thatcher
Napoleon Dynamite
JFK
Anyone to Mezmerize on an iPod mini from France
Horatio Nelson
C. Montgomery Burns
Kylie Minogue
Bono
Each of the members of the band have all killed their fathers
No woman has survived an encounter with Malakalakalakalakalakian
All the children that Bono is trying to save
Joseph Stalin (he wasnt very funny anymore)
Pudding
Robin Williams
Aristotle
Kim Jong Il
Paris Hilton (But can you blame them?)
Sonic the Hedgehog
Pauline Hanson
The Face
Vince Vega
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[edit]Albums
System Of A Down (1998)
Throw Toxic Waste in their Rivers (2001)
Steal This Uranium! (2002)
Mezmerize (2005)
Hypnotize (2005)
Terrorize (2142)
Sodomize (2142)
Plagiarize (2143)


[edit]Notable Songs
I Read It In A Pamphlet (2004)
This track was released on the soundtrack to Osama Bin Laden's film Death To America VII: Still In A Cave Somewhere

I Read It In A Pamphlet! (file info)
Your typical SOAD song... (help)



PIZZAPIZZAPIZZAPIZZAPIZZAPIZZAPIZZA (1942)
Written to support the Italian forces during WWII

36 (6/9/69)
Made to brainwash people

BYOB (Build Your Own Bicycle) (1234)
They were poor in that time

Chop Suey In A Can (666 B.C.)
Nobody's quite sure WHAT this was written about. Some gay hippie **** anyway. It sounds strangely important, because they continuosly say random words, and ANGELS DESERVE TO DIE!

Bananabananabananabananabananabananaterracottapie (Obscenity of Viscinty of Obscenity) (3456)
This song uses the word banana so much because System of a Down are all such fruits. Also has SOAD asking for the long-sought-after answer to the question "What's The Perfect Way To Hold Your baby?". Serj wants to know for his new child that was conceived with Daron of the band.

Steal This Uranium! (2006)
Giving Iran advice

Holy Mountains (2009)
Where they recieved their vision of Allah and Allah Ackbar

Hypnotize (666 A.C.)
Hypnotize people into hating freedom

Terrorize (2142)
This is the one that started it all! (It being insurgency)

IEAIOUIAAEAEAEIOUEAOUOIEAOUUIOAU (4577)
Written to express SOAD's extreme hate of vowels, which are used by the Western World.

BYOWMD (Bring Your Own WMD) (7,123456789987654321x10³²²)
Instructing terrorists to bring their own ordanance, they will not supply it.

Toxicity (3082)
This song tells the listeners of how intoxicated they are most of the time.

Hyphonize (2055)
A song about the importance of puncuation and sitting in cars waiting for girls (see pedophile)

[edit]See Also
Ten reasons System of a Down cant be terrorists[1] Somehow, they still manage...

Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/System_of_a_Down"
Categories: Bands | Minions of Satan | Music | Supervillains | Terrorists | Retards

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This page was last modified 02:52, 25 September 2006. Content is available under a Creative Commons License. About Uncyclopedia Disclaimers