Why do?????????????

Question

My mom says people who get married young 18 or early 20's end up divorced a lot of the time?Is this true if so why?

Answer 1

Yes, it is true. But that does not mean all of them!

What really counts is the commitment and how much you both understand that a good marriage requires compromise.

If you both were raised by parents who had good marriages, your chances are much better. If one set of parents is divorced, then it all depends on whether the one whose parents stayed married had a good marriage, and if that one is the strong one, the "teacher" in the relationship.

Analyze your own skills and your partner's skills very carefully, and be totally honest with yourself. If you think it might be risky, then I think you should wait a couple years, just to make sure it's going to last.

I would strongly advise against living together first, though.
Statistics show that those marriages are more likely to fail because there wasn't enough ardent commitment to make the couple wait for marriage and take a chance on one another.

So.... if it's marriage VS living together.... then pick marriage, that's my advice. That's what we told our son and daughter-in-law... and they are very happily married.

Answer 2

Yes your Mother is absolutely right. If this is true love it will be there when you are ready to marry. What is the rush go to school get an education and enjoy life. Take it from a girl that married young and divorced at 44 there is plenty of time for marriage. Also to fairly answer your question the reason my married failed is that I was to young to make a good choice. The man I married is a good man but he was not the man for me. Unfortunatley I did not mature and realize that untill there was already children and I felt obligated to stay married and raise them. In the end we were both miserable. I won't say that there are not marriages that work out but I know that they are few and far between. Let me ask you this if you had to choose a dress style that you could only wear for the rest of your life.............would you be ready to make that choice and could you seee your likes and dislikes changing as you get older? I f you think you are ready then there is nothing that anyone can say to change your mind...............Good luck I hope you make the right choice...............it's a life time.

Answer 3

I'm not going to say that it is true, but many of the people I know who married early and divorced did so because they weren't done growing emotionally when they married. They both still needed to gain some maturity, independence, etc.

So, although it isn't a death sentance for the marriage, it should be a thought out decision, not something that one jumps into...

Answer 4

This is true, more for young people thant older people.

The reason is that they lack maturity. Marriage is extermly difficult and staying together is a decision an not a feeling. You will not feel in love everymoment with your spouse, but if you both have made the decision to solve problems in your marriage then you will solve and find the emotional attachement again. The problem is that this solution may take a long time month's even. Couples who are commited to finding a solution will do anything to solve it. Even if that means counseling and outside advice.

Answer 5

you change alot in your twenties, your goals and aspirations become more apparent, alot people who get married young end up resenting either the marriage or their partner, because they feel they missed out on a lot of things, education, single time to date, and just hang with friends. Your twenties are a time of major personal growth and realization, and for some the responsibilities of marriage, and most of the time those who marry young have children very young, seems to stifle that growth that each person needs...

Dont get me wrong my grandparents got married at 16 and 18 and were married for 5o yrs but times are very different now, and so are relationships.

Answer 6

Because she is right. People that young still have alot of things to do in their life before being ready to settle down. Marriage is not the fairy tale that TV portrays. It takes alot of work, you have some good times and some bad. You have to learn to take the bad as well as the good. Marriage is alot of give and take and most of the time it seems that you give more than you receive. If love is forever, then why hurry up the process of getting married. Take the time to learn all about your future partner, get to know him/her, thru the good times as well as the bad. Know their weaknesses and their strengths. It takes only 2 minutes to say "I do" but its takes a lot longer to change your mind once the committment has been made. Trust me.. been married for over 1/2 my life. Its not easy and been thru some tough times that somedays it seemed easier to run away than to be married to this person I call my husband, who even today after 23 years of marriage is still sometimes as much of a stranger as anyone on the street. So.. all in all.. all I want to say.. is just be patient. If its meant to be, then it will happen. Take the time to find out who you are, what you want out of life and the road you want to follow. If in a few years, your future partner is still the same and accepting you for who you are and what you want out of life and traveling a similiar road, then it may be the perfect time to say the "I do's". Until then, patience is a virtue. Good luck!!

Answer 7

People at this age still need to mature and in order to mature you need to gain experience in all aspects of life and it's challenges. If you get married young, then you both go through these changes together ill equipped to handle it together. You see that you may now have differing view than your spouse and you will fight all of the time and being immature you will not be able to understand that you both need to grow together and leave your selfishness behind.

Being this young, you are still in a selfish mode and need to grow out of it. Getting married at this point; being selfish defeats the purpose of what a marriage is all about.

Wait, grow, and then you will be better off in making decisions on relationships and marriage.

A very tiny fraction of a percent will actually make it and it's very tiny.

Answer 8

It's true. Typically at that age you know nothing about real life yet and the first time something hard to handle comes up it destroys the marriage. I am a firm believer in try before you buy. Jumping into marriage too young is nothing but a disaster waiting for a place to happen.

Answer 9

yes, people in their late teens and early 20's are still trying to find themselves. they think they know what they want and how to achieve it, but it doesn't always work the way they think it will, so they have to find another route, and in the mean time, they are changing in personality, values, image, etc.
up until their turned 18 mom and dad made most of the decisions in life, now all of the sudden mom and dad aren't making decisions, but making suggestions, and the suggestions are necessarily what the person wants to hear, because they had other ideas. mom and dad suggestions usually turned out to be the opposite of what the person thought, and mom and dad were right, so they are having to deal with mom and dad not being as stupid as they once were. again, they are changing in several ways. i wouldn't suggest getting married until at least the mid 20's or later.

Answer 10

Cuz they grow up and change, i.e., grow apart, not together. However, in all fairness, one can get married at any age and still end up divorced.