Just wondered if anyone else out there totally didnt bond with their baby after birth?
I had my daughter 4 years ago and I now love her more than life, but after I gave birth, I rejected her for almost 10 weeks. I just wasnt interested in her. I didnt want to pick her up, I told the midwife to take her back to the hospital, she seemed as important to me as a cold bowl of soup.
I just toally detatched from her.
Im just curious really as to how other people dealt with it. I know its normal and lots of women go through it, its so annoying to go through it especially people who kept saying 'once the baby is born you fall in love with it straight away'. Its just not always true, and I still now after 4 years feel terrible guilt about it.
How do you feel about it now?
2006-09-25 12:02:07 · 12 answers · asked by lozzielaws 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I have alot of admiration for you! Not many would stand up and admit that, you're very brave!
I suffered terribly from Post-Natal depression. I didn't want to be anywhere near my daughter, I didn't pick her up, only fed her when there was no-one else to do it and I constantly thought to myself "Someone take this thing away from me, I don't want it any where near me!"
BUT!!!!! It only lasted a few weeks, the first time I saw her smile at me (5 weeks) my heart melted and I felt like a complete *****! I love my daughter to pieces now, I couldn't be without her, she's my life, heart and soul!
I think alot of Mum's feel like this, but 9 times out of 10 you get over it!
2006-09-26 08:56:42 · answer #1 · answered by Kirk_84 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had severe post natal depression with my first daughter who is now 15.
It took me 18 months to bond with her, I still feel I missed out on so much.
I dont feel guilty though, I realise I was very ill and so was she for a time. I didnt breastfeed, she went straight onto bottle, but screamed constantly from day one for weeks.
I took her into town one day in the pram and she was still crying, she was about 6 weeks.
I couldnt stand it anymore and screamed at her in the middle of the town and walked away from the pram.
A very kind stranger then took us both to my GP straight away and he diagnosed me with PND and my daughter with lactose intolerance. She was changed onto soya formula and was instantly better.
I always will feel that I wasnt a great mother then but like Silverbirch said I just wasnt prepared at all.
P.S Silverbirchs answer was so sweet it brought a tear to my eye.
2006-09-26 08:35:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It dosn't count what label it has yet you're depressed. The Beta Blockers could help with the rigidity, yet while no better in a week or 2 you may bypass back to the docs. you may connect a clean Mums team the place you will locate different youthful Mums, by ability of speaking to others you will get your life into attitude. wish you experience better quickly. uk
2016-10-17 23:25:32 · answer #3 · answered by comesana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how it feels my daughter is almost 2, i have only just started feeling the overwhelming love we are all told WE WILL GET! I feel i have lost out on so much with her but we just have to make the most of the future the past is gone we can never get it back its now that matters.
2006-09-26 10:41:03 · answer #4 · answered by rsrs782005 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you must not feel guilty for your emotions it is not your fault the main thing is you got throught it and you love her to bits these things do happen like you say .You have to remember your body goes through a massive change when you give birth and your hormones are flying off all over the place and this person suddenly appears and its not all its cracked up to be or that you dreamed of but that does not make you a bad parent as you are proving now
2006-09-26 02:25:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
postpartum depression is serious. If u continue to feel this way talk to your doctor. It is very important u let someone know how u are feeling, It may take a while for the feeling to go away. Seek out help u are not alone. Please
Call 1800328-3838, if u live in NJ, visit www.njspeakup.gov, go to a support group for postpartum depression. If it goes untreated it can have long lasting effects. good luck
2006-09-25 12:25:43 · answer #6 · answered by mary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think most of us go through it to be honest. I was so looking forward to my son being born, i could feel his leg through my wife's stomach, and I used to talk to him.
When he was born, though, it was like he wasn't the same person. My wife had trouble getting her milk flowing, and for about 5 weeks he was just this screaming thing that was hurting the woman I loved. I did get to the stage of hating him.
On doctor's advice, we then changed to a mixture of formula and breast. The change was instantaneous. he was happy, she was happy, he slept, I slept. About two weeks later he started smiling at us.
He is now almost 14, and I know I shouldn't say this, but is probably the best son a father could ever wish for. I honestly do love him more than life, even though he drives me up the wall on occasion.
Looking back on it, I realise just how unprepared we were, and didn't realise how totally in control he was going to be. I wish we had gone with gut feel, and put him on a bottle sooner. I still feel bitter towards the - not "breast is best" - but "breast is the only" brigade, who did con us with their propaganda.
2006-09-25 12:18:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
I was a nanny and loved kids, the min I knew i was pregs I used to look at babies and think 'yuk'
, I hated being preggers and it took me 9 long months to bond with my son, (also I was deperate for a girl) but I've treasured that day for the past 18 years
2006-09-25 22:01:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Postnatal depressions are very common after birth.I also had that.But i didnt hate my baby.I was just crying without any reason.
But i read about ur problem as well in the book.these r very common.Dont feel guilty.Bad time has gone.Now love her as u can.
2006-09-26 01:22:58 · answer #9 · answered by angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yea i had post natal depression with my first child she is now 7 i love her with all my heart but not as close as i would like us to be i still find it hard to cuddle her and give her emotional support i feel guilty about it but i really try.dont get me wrong i love her so much she is my little girl but just find it hard sometimes
2006-09-26 03:16:12 · answer #10 · answered by gosport girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋