We`ve been together for 4 and 1/2 years. (I`m 23, he`s 27) We live to together (Probably my own fault for giving him the milk for free). He always says "When are you going to marry me?" and we have nice discussions about it, but when it comes down to it, he`s bee saying his going to propose to me "soon" for at least a year. Why do men put off proposals? (Don`t be rude okay?)
2006-09-25 11:59:28 · 15 answers · asked by ALittleLight 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What`s there to be scared about? I`m not scared.
2006-09-25 12:03:03 · update #1
I have asked him! He said I`m not allowed to ask. "Thats not how it`s done!" He said. He said he has to do the whole the big get down on one knee scene.
2006-09-25 12:11:35 · update #2
I don`t want to change him with marriage. I`m pretty sure he knows that. I want our relationship to move forward and grow into a family with little Babbas running around :)
2006-09-25 12:12:59 · update #3
As you know hon, living together and doing all the wifey things for him already doesn't give him any incentive too..there is no real sense of urgency to do it. I would if you can afford to or have somewhere else to go, give him an ultimatum that if he doesn't propose within ( very short term time frame) you will be moving out (and really mean it).
If you have to move out and then he wakes up to himself and asks you, be firm and don't move back in with him until after the wedding ..because engagements can go on forever as another delay.
Talk to him and tell him marriage is something that is important to you and it's not fair for him to expect you to put your life on hold and further. Commitment is important for self growth in a relationship. Quite frankly after 4 and half years, you have every right to no longer be put on ice. If he has no intentions of ever marrying you, you need to know now, so you can move on with your life and find a man that will marry you.
Other common reasons include:
*Financial - doesn't apply in your case since you can already afford to live together.
*Feels too young/ not ready ie wants to do more in life first. In your case he is 27 not 23 so he isn't too young to marry you.
* Doesn't value marriage ie doesn't believe in it or thinks it's just a piece of paper-so is just not into commitment full stop, if this is the case RUN!
* Your not the one - if he needs to keep his options open by not making a offical commitment to you..then he is waiting for something else to come along. There has been tons of stories about guys that have lived with a girl for 6 or 7 years and they break up because he won't marry her ...yet the next gf, bang within a year they are married. I mean c'mon 4 and 1/2 years is more than long enough to know if he wants to marry you.
2006-09-25 12:26:52 · answer #1 · answered by xanadu88 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't take this wrong but the the saying is really true:
WHY BUY THE COW WHEN YOU GET THE MILK FOR FREE???
Cross your legs for a few months and you'll see him on his knees proposing, I guarantee it. In other words, he is getting everything a man wants out of a marriage right now without the commitment. So why commit and take the chance of ruining a good thing? Good luck!
2006-09-25 16:09:57 · answer #2 · answered by Professor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
would you rather want him to propse when he knows for sure or would you rather him just do it now. He's waiting for the perfect time to do it, i am sure he has a date set in his mind and is waitin for it. They are nervous for sure, saying your going to propose and actually doing it is two different things. Sure there are so many things rushing through his mind and he just wants to make it the best ever so you wont forget about this. He wants to do it the right way. And believe me you will be happy and glad you waited!Plus getting married isnt cheap, lots and lots of money as well. And not to mention that big dimaond hes going to have to pay for. Give him time he will!
2006-09-25 12:07:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The sad but true answer is that men put off proposing because they're not sure if they want to be married or they're not sure if they want to be married to the one particular woman they are with at the time. Be patient, but don't wait too long either. He may just be stringing you along.
2006-09-25 12:04:08 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
well most guys feel that if they propose badly you might come down on them and blame them for a bad proposal... or something is bothering him. sit down talk and make sure nothing is wrong and make sure you are fair when having a conversation.
getting in a marriage is a big step for both women and men. he mabye is just over stressing on trying to make a perfect proposal in a perfect place at the perfect moment.
2006-09-25 12:06:00 · answer #5 · answered by kentoman2003 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Most men, including myself, need a good reason to do anything. Mostly because they fear the worst MIGHT happen. It could be he fears your relationship might change. once you own him you will try and change him. I have seen friends with very good relationships fall apart because the women feels that marriage should change the relationship, and we men fear change. Let him know WHY you want to get marrried and be honest !!!!!
Also he could be afraid of the COST of a FAIRY TALE wedding. Been there, done that, was a real strain.
Good Luck
2006-09-25 12:09:11 · answer #6 · answered by ohiokenbob 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i do believe he is scared . Because marriage is a big step. Don't feel bad for keeping him in your house. I think it is better when you move in first because you get to see how a person really acts. If he loves you he will pop the big question ?
2006-09-25 12:08:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are stupid and once you live with them for so long they get used to it and figure why get married i am already comforatble and know were going to be together.
Me and my fiance (LOL) have been together for six years have two kids together and keep on plannin our wedding.
With us it is the cost we would rahter go on vacation to disney world than get married. We already know wer are going to be together anyways. What is a peice of paper.
2006-09-25 12:35:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uncertainty. Plus some of the just like to stay single. Or they're afraid their buddies will say something.
2006-09-25 13:07:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they really arent ready and if you push you will drive hime firther away. He could use that for a long time and you have to decide how long you want to put up with it..
2006-09-25 12:06:30 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋