My Husband works so much I hardly ever see him. I find myself getting mad because I am getting lonley. I know that he is exhausted, but the only day that he had off he went to hang out with friends. So I got flammin mad at him becuase he didn't want to spend his time with me. How do I make him realize that I need attention! How does he expect our marriage to last if he doesn't put anything into it?
2006-09-25 11:56:29 · 41 answers · asked by akraft1@verizon.net 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow I was in the EXACT same situation! I made the mistake and thought the grass was greener on the other side. BIG MISTAKE!! We are now going through a divorce. At first he realized and wanted me back, but I would have anything to do with him. Now I wish I never went after the attention somewhere else. When I sat him down to express my feeling he responded with I was so selfish and he was so tired. Support what he does and try to have him see it through your eyes. A women needs her man.
2006-09-25 12:02:06 · answer #1 · answered by Di M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all it is very easy to get mad when we feel hurt but you need to keep perspective on what is really going on. Are you mad or are you hurt? I think you are hurt. If so getting mad is only going to make matters worse.
I have to wonder what you do to occupy your time when he is at work. Sometimes we depend too much on our partners to make us happy that we neglect to make our self happy. I say this a lot but it is true - Our mates should add to our life, not be our life.
If you don't work then maybe go to work, or go back to school but do something productive and positive that will make you happy with your life. If we aren't happy with our own life why would someone even be attracted to us?
If this is not the case then just ignore that. Either way you should discuss this with your husband but not in an angry manner. Start off with "I feel unimportant in your life because...... this is expressing how you feel without accusing him of making you feel that way.
Avoid phrases like "you make me feel" or "you hurt me when". These phrases and phrases like them will automatically put someone in a defensive position. They are accusations and will only put a wall up between the two of you.
"How does he expect our marriage to last if he doesn't put anything into it?" Many times men tend to think that because they are working hard and bringing home a paycheck that their part of the bargain is done. This may be how he was raised. But I am willing to bet that he feels as if he is putting everything he knows how to put into this relationship. You won't do yourself any favors by acting as if he doesn't put anything into this relationship.
I hope this helps.
Good Luck!
2006-09-25 12:11:22 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man these people that always say "move on"... "dump him" really urke me.
Tell him that you are not content with the attention that you are getting. A persons emotional needs will be met one way or another. You want him to fulfill yours so you do not find them elsewhere.
The most common reason for an affair is unfulfilled desires. Most affairs are not planned. They just happen. You and he have the benifit of knowing that your desires are not being fulfilled. Tell him that you dont want to leave the possibility of discovering attention from someone else.
2006-09-25 12:02:57 · answer #3 · answered by jah_love_97 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand what U are going through. My husband and I in the beginning of our marriage didn't have much time for each other and when we did, either I was exhausted or he was. He had friends that wanted his attention as well.
The best thing to do, don't be upset, put all that energy in him. When he comes home have the place lite up in candle, and a nice dinner waiting etc....and of course buy your self thy sexiest outfit that will drive him crazy.
Sometimes we need to do things to get what we want ourselves, don't expect too much from him. If you want "IT" go get it!!!
Best of luck!
2006-09-25 12:11:20 · answer #4 · answered by E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all you should tell your husband everything in this message. Make sure you spell it out for him too as us guys need it from time to time. I really hate it when people assume that what's bothering them is as obvious as a giant purple elephant causing a traffic jam. If he truly loves you then he'll care enough to make a difference. You should be prepared however that your marriage may not have been meant to be. God Speed!
2006-09-25 12:07:34 · answer #5 · answered by Dr.C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Find a decent male friend like me.
2) Dress sexy.
3) Invite this friend over for a game of checkers.
4) When your husband gets home act all bubbly and flirtatious.
5) Wait for your husband to get jealous and send your friend packing....he will take you in his arms and make sweet sweet love to you as if you were newlyweds again.
2006-09-25 11:58:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one!!! I kinda no how you feel. My boyfriend just started a new job and he works an hour away, so he feels like if they ask him to work over, it's no big deal because he has an hour drive anyway!!! Kinda bugs me. I guess you should talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. If your relationship is important to him then he will make an effort to spend time with you. Good Luck!!!
2006-09-25 12:02:02 · answer #7 · answered by Cindi R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you women not get it? Guys like sex, beer and football. Tonight is Monday Night football. Get a tight Jersey of his favorite team to wear, thigh highs, garters and high heels on the bottom. Sit him down, hand him a beer, then give him the best **** job of his life. Then make him some nachos and watch the game together.
2006-09-25 12:01:07 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know how you are feeling. People find time for things that are important to them. Arrange a weekly "date" night, even if it's only for one or two hours so you have something to look forward to. When you have that time, make it special, don't talk about household matters or complain about things, just be there and have fun together like when you first started dating.
2006-09-25 12:00:34 · answer #9 · answered by wellbeing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you miss him since he isn't around due to his job. You take the initiative to set up date nights. Tell him that you made plans to go out to dinner and see a movie together. Get someone to watch your kids (if you have them) and make it a very romantic time together. This way, he would definitely wanna be with you rather than his buddies. Try to be positive and do things that you know he likes to do.
2006-09-25 12:03:41 · answer #10 · answered by godsgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋