For instance, if I have been married for 12 years and have 4 children and have given every moment of my adult life being the best wife and mother I can...and I find out that my husband is searching on Craigs List Personals for girls and is calling and text messaging girls he meets at sports bars and the gym, and even though he knows I know he continues to minimize the severity of what he did since he claims that nothing actually got past the talking stage, but he would have scammed with one of the girls if given the chance but not had intercourse.....would I not be justified in wrapping my hands tightly around his throat? How about a cast iron frying pan smasing his skull? Well, what do you think? Is there an excuse for domestic abuse?
2006-09-25 11:41:57 · 36 answers · asked by Chicka B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Damn... I am so so sorry. If it's any help, I've heard that removing *ahem* strategic parts of his body with manicure scissors is good therapy.
While I personally think you would be completely justified to do any of the things you mentioned, the law wouldn't agree. Get him out of the picture - neither you nor your children need this crap.
2006-09-25 11:47:20 · answer #1 · answered by Church Music Girl 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
NEVER..Male or Female there is never an excuse for domestic abuse.I am sure you felt like doing those thing to your husband.Yes he is on Craig's list personal for a reason. We both know why. Things change after 12 yrs of marriage and 4 kids. I am sure being a mother and a wife takes a lot of your time. If you work there is the rest of your time.If your husband would take the time and energy that he spends on the inter-net and put it in your marriage you would be the happiest woman around. Men dont plan they just take action and get caught.Now that you have proof what will you do ? If he respects you he will stop. If he does not I dont think I would make it 13 yrs. I know this is your marriage and your kids father but he isnt using his head to think he is using his other head.He has to make a choice to see which is better to use.. Good Luck
2006-09-25 11:56:00 · answer #2 · answered by justturning40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though in the heat of the moment it sounds like such a great idea becuase you are hurt and angry and you have every right ot be, dont do it. You have 4 children to be around for. You dont know what will happen if you proceed to put your hands on your husband in violence:he could strike you back and really hurt you, the authorities might become involved and cart you off to jail and place your children in foster care, you could seriously injure him by accident and kill him . . . . .it all sounds far fetched but it could definitely happen. If you are that unhappy leave him and move on with your life and continue to be a good mom. If you want to stay with him, try to think of a better way to release your emotions than violence. The only person in the end who will hurt behind you putting your hands on him is your children. The end will not justify the means.
2006-09-25 11:51:19 · answer #3 · answered by S.L. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, well domestic abuse is never justified. Its causes can be traced back to the typical childhood. If a child witnesses broken parents, fighting or anything like that, or if he's abused, it's likely he will take it out on his loved ones when he's an adult. Or she, of course.
What you're suggesting is reasonable, but not just. Tell him exactly how you feel. Don't just tell him what he's doing and why it's wrong, tell him why you -don't- want him to do it, and force him to realise the magnitude of his flirtation. Truly, if he's going to express interest in other women then you have to get him to pull his head in. I'd suggest a good long talk, and possibly a marriage counsellor. Remember- if you kill him, there'll be a lot of paperwork waiting for you later. And -nobody- likes paperwork.
2006-09-25 11:47:55 · answer #4 · answered by Link 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes,the reason that I hit my husband over the head with a frying pan is because I like jail. Try spending some time in jail and I think you will realize that there is a better way to handle the situation.
2006-09-25 11:46:36 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your man is out lokking, it means your not getting the job done in bed. Did you let yourself go? Did you stop paying attention to him? Did you gain 50 pounds and do nothing about it? Cut your hair? Stop doing CERTAIN things? If a guy gets to that point it means he's looking for something he isn't getting at home. No don't be violent. Fix your marriage or leave.
2006-09-25 11:46:08 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone hits you, it's assault. If you hit back, it's a fight, and you get in trouble too. This guy sounds like a real jerk and he has emotionally hit you way too many times for you to stick with him. But if you hit back, he will have ammo to use against you that he doesn't deserve to have that may get him out of his duties to you and your children if you do get divorced. You will have the last laugh when he is sending you alimony/child support and heating canned soup in the microwave every night.
2006-09-25 11:48:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Totally understand how you feel but beating his a$$ isn't the answer. Granted it might feel good but God forbid you end up in jail for domestic abuse. You have to think about yourself and the kids. Leave the loser. Paying alimony and child support will cause him enough pain.
2006-09-25 11:49:43 · answer #8 · answered by sunssecret 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I totally understand your level of frustration and anger, there is never a excuse for violence. If I were you I would ask him to leave for an indefinite period of time and tell him that the one and only way that he can come back is if he stops this foolish and immature behavior.
2006-09-25 11:54:09 · answer #9 · answered by godsgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope not an excuse for domestic abuse.... but definitely an excuse for the two of you to sit down with a marriage councilor!
2006-09-25 11:45:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋