I met her about 3 yrs ago and we started out quite well but I couldn't always see her cos of distance. I really love her and made it clear about the way I feel . I hv gone to the extent of making it clear to her that we will get married next yr but she doesn't seem to believe me.
Reason: I hv been nonchalant about the relationship bcos i wasn't always there for her.
My position: There is no way i could hv left my job to be with her. Right now I stay in the UK and she is back home in Africa. Even then I still love her and hv tried to reassure her of my intention to get married to her but she keeps harping on this nonchallant thing that is driving me crazy.
Her latest antic is that there is someone else. I love her and don't want to lose her.
Please what do I do? Do I leave her and move on or should I take it that she is overreacting and be patient with her.
Is there something I should do to convince her. I hv not called her in a while now perhaps trying to let things calm a bit.
2006-09-25 11:10:34 · 11 answers · asked by onyimo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No, there is nothing you should do to convince her.
I see no future in your relationship with this girl. This is because she does not seem to be making any effort to see things from your perspective. She does not seem able to recognise that you so-caled "nonchalance" might genuinely be a result of your work commitments.
This suggests that she is either:
-unreasonable
- ungenerous
- lacking in imagination
-simply is not keen on you enough to overcome any reservations she might have about your apparrant "nonchalance".
All those qualities suggest that she is a poor bet and that you should "Get on a bus Gus".
2006-09-25 11:25:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is a frank talk. Tell her how you fell about her behaviour and make her sure that she's everything to you. Maybe she thinks you're looking for a way to end this relationship and doesn't want to get hurt (that's why she's trying not to believe in this marriage thing). The worst part of this story is the distance between you, which can be the reason of "there is someone else". How can a woman possibly know what is her bf doing in the other part of the world!? She probably feels insecure and is afraid of losing you. If you really love her do everything in your power to be with her! Don't give up cos you'd regret it. All the best to both of you!!!
2006-09-25 11:39:51 · answer #2 · answered by prahmedio 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shes a drama queen! From reading your question you have done everything in your power to reassure her and state what the situation is and if she has to resort to this kind of carry on then shes not worth it - bringing up the fact that there is someone else in the picture now is just bitchy.
you sound like a lovely genuine guy and I think you're best off without this one - I know you love her and stuff but if she was the right one for you - she'd have waited patiently.
Also you were unable to stay with her in Africa - was there anything preventing her from being with you in the UK??
Think about it! xx
2006-09-27 03:29:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not from the uk or Africa but i think the nonchalant thing tells her you cant be serious about her cause if your not serious about proposing marriage there isn't anything u are serious about. frankly if your so worried about losing her why the no call in a while. i think u might have just nonchalanted yourself out of a girl. maybe her latest antic as you called it was her nonchallant way of telling you see ya.
2006-09-25 11:19:42 · answer #4 · answered by skylinbaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
'LOVE'????nothing else matter..no matter what...'LOVE' still :-)
we don't know in detail about your relationship and we only know just one side, the only thing I can say is
follow her to Africa or get her back to UK. **and call her every day**!!!! she won't be calm if you stop calling or disappearing for a while, it will make it harder to convince her how much you love her.**oh! if you really love her you won't give up on her unless you have seen her kissing with her new boyfriend. :-)
or seeing her profile and pictures looking for a boyfriend on dating websites
2006-09-25 12:03:44 · answer #5 · answered by SERENE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should send her something to show her how important, maybe something that will remind her of the first time you met. Have you "officially " asked her to marry you? Have you thought of a ring or a promise ring?? Write her a love letter, be sincere, if she is not into you then she will not respond and then it is time to move on.
2006-09-25 11:17:46 · answer #6 · answered by ponyup 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to marry you and move to the UK and live with you or call the whole thing off. It won't work.
2006-09-25 16:07:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move to Africa.
2006-09-25 11:14:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sod off back to Africa.. we promise not to miss you.... bye.
2006-09-25 11:20:14 · answer #9 · answered by Phish 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
she's playing games with u'r heart, forget about her and move on mate!
2006-09-25 11:22:42 · answer #10 · answered by psychogill 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋