That's how I feel. I'm only 21 and people say that my thinking will change with age, but I seriously doubt it. I don't really understand or care for children and the thought of being a father scares me a little. Maybe its selfish, but I'd prefer to live my life with the focus on me. When I talked to my mother about this, she was kind of dissapointed or saddened. Is something wrong with me?
2006-09-25 10:54:56 · 22 answers · asked by Subconsciousless 7 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Nott at all, I have one (too many). Why bring more children into this already over populated world?
2006-09-25 10:58:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Children are a huge responsibility and dependent for the most part until the age of eighteen, sometimes longer. I have a wonderful grown son, but as a single parent; for most of his life, I was unable to spend the time with him that he deserved! I love my son very much, but I have let him down in many ways! I am glad I have my son, but if I was starting over with the world the way it is now; I would not have children either. I rerspect your decision! There is nothing wrong with you!
2006-09-25 11:06:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Mom's always hope to spoil grandchildren someday....Fact!
2. You just may not be molded for fatherhood. Nothing wrong with that but don't ever mislead a girl into thinking you'll change you mind someday if that's what she wants. Let her go and find someone who feels like you do. They do exist....really.
3. If you do change your mind some day that's ok too but make sure your wife is aware of how you feel....when you do get married that is. Til then keep it covered to avoid a very unwanted mishap that ends up hurting all people involved
2006-09-25 10:59:26 · answer #3 · answered by Baby girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what motivates your decision. If you don't want to have kids because of fear, I wouldn't say that you don't want to have kids but rather say that you don't want to have them yet.
If, however, you feel that it would take away from your life, to some aspects it will ...but in many others will it enrich it. It is a choice to want to give more of yourself. It is an act of love. If you don't give children a fair chance in your life then you are only cheating yourself.
If after all this, you can accept children, in general, and still don't want one of your own, then your decision isn't a selfish one but a very mature and educated one. Good Luck on your journey my friend.
2006-09-25 12:20:43 · answer #4 · answered by adia_246 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent question!
No there is nothing wrong with you in the least!
Your mom is disappointed probably because she wants a grandchild to ooh and ahh over!
I have friends who are married and they don't want children and are perfectly content with each other and do more things like travel then they would if they had kids. Not every one is cut out to have kids.
Don't allow anyone to lay this guilt trip on you!
2006-09-25 12:07:55 · answer #5 · answered by December Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I'd prefer to live my life with the focus on me" That answers your question right there. Yes, it's selfish. Not everyone's reasons for not wanting children are selfish, but yours obviously is.
2006-09-25 11:04:00 · answer #6 · answered by ask the eightball 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are to be admired for your honesty, and I don't think there is anything wrong with you. But you are young and you will change in the coming years. With that in mind, don't get a vasectomy for at least 10 to 15 years. My brother got one, didn't wait long enough for it to take and his wife ended up pregnant. He fell in love with the one child they have, and really regrets not being able to have more. Regret is a terrible thing to live with.
2006-09-25 11:15:31 · answer #7 · answered by Kathie Emmanuelite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe there is a right or wrong answer to your question. Too many people, I think, have family's because they believe "they are supposed to" which is a very stupid reason. This is equal to getting married in the first place.
Do your future children a big favor. Have them only because you want them.
Vaya con DIOS
2006-09-25 11:01:37 · answer #8 · answered by chrisbrown_222 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not at that age no. I never wanted children, but now that I have one I feel a lot different. I don't want anymore, but if I had another one I know I couldn't live without them.
Sometimes, you end up with children you never intended to have. If that happens to you, you will love them.
I just wouldn't worry about it. Just focus on school.
2006-09-25 10:57:26 · answer #9 · answered by it 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i'm interior an identical boat as you-i'm 22 and do not favor to have youthful toddlers. I agree, i favor me time, no longer youngster time. I also do not imagine it is a strong international to convey toddlers into (seems only straightforward mean). in the experience that your mom is dissatisfied with you because of it, it looks that she is somewhat egocentric in wanting you to have them. it is your selection, no longer her's. Any mom ought to understand your selection, because it really is what you want. at the same time as i'm requested about it-human beings also tell me that i will change my ideas. i have given up on arguing my aspect (i understand i will by no skill favor youthful toddlers), they're going to by no skill trust you. they are declaring "Oh, supply it many years, you'd be death to have some!". I only smile and nod. They end bugging me and that i flow on with my day. no longer something, no longer something, no longer something is incorrect with you! some persons only don't have that materinal istinct. For those persons that do not, the suitable we are able to do for ourselves and the toddlers that we will by no skill have is to no longer have youthful toddlers. Why fall into the stress of having them if it will make us so unhappy and our youthful toddlers too? go away it to the ladies human beings that are born moms to have toddlers. I understand very a lot women human beings which have households and boost awesome human beings, i don't have it in me to do it. and that i'd delight in understand from others that i don't have toddlers as a lot as I supply understand to those who do.
2016-11-23 21:19:30 · answer #10 · answered by dungey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you have loads of money, all a breeder is good for is making a slave for their government... Instead of bringing in Mexicans, they can use people that live paycheck to paycheck to do the same thing.. Do yourself a favor and don't have them. Plus they're not your children anyways. The government rules every aspect of their daily lives. You can't hit your child, you have to send him/her to those annoying schools, you have to do all the bs homework that they assign. And if the kid doesn't follow the rules to a tee, then he/she ends up on Prozac. So if you are well off with a lot of money, think about having kids. And if you are middle class, realize that in 20 years there will BE no middle class and university and college will be unattainable.
The main reason people wanna have a kid is to show it off. The baby boomer days are over. Life is too tough now to support a kid. You should wait until your 40 years old to make the decision. Kids having kids is nothing but a tax burden on society. They can't support em' working at KFC and McDonald's. So like I said if you DON'T have money, don't have one.
Peace
2006-09-25 11:00:26 · answer #11 · answered by Margaret I 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋