My hubby has a female friend who he used to work with.They still ring and text/sms each other nearly every day and night.My hubby says she is really just a good friend. She is single and they have met each other after work a few times.He tells me if he is meeting her and he also shows me any messages on his phone to show there is nothing going on.But i have this funny feeling that it may lead to something more serious.They know each 18 months.Are they just friends or is there more.I trust my hubby but not her.I have never met this girl(shes 31)Any advise guys!!!!!
2006-09-25 10:12:12 · 35 answers · asked by mel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The bottom line is .......a married guy should not be having single women as friends whom the wife doesn't know. Even if the wife knows but disapproves of the relationship, he should stop it. His friendship with this female will and have a high possibility of turning into an affair. He should not text/sms her at all. Why isn't he texting or smsing you instead. Why is he closer to her than to you? It is not right. That woman should be expending her energies finding a boyfriend for herself instead of spending so much time on a married man. This is a big DANGER sign.
Tell your hubby to stop contacting her "cold turkey". Stop completely and instantly. Otherwise you should question his motives. You should even threaten separation/divorce if he disregards your request to stop.
If possible, text the woman and tell her to stop texting your hubby.
2006-09-25 16:36:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is probably harmless, but when you get married you are supposed to forego any relationships of this nature, this keeps from temptation, jealousy, lying, etc from developing and causeing a problem in your marriage!! i know most people would say you can be friends w/ whoever and being married doesn't mean giving up relationships! But i believe this is something if you aren't comfy w/ should put a stop to it!! You never know where sin can root itself in your life and this is a possible place and there is nothing wrong at all w/ wanting to protect your marriage!!! as long as you are willing to do the same for him there is nothing wrong w/ asking this of him!!! You need to set him down and explain your side and your feelings to him calmly and lovingly!! If he has a problem w/ this or refuses to give up the friendship you will then have a large problem on your hands, you should be way more important than this woman!! Good luck and God bless!!
2006-09-25 10:15:30 · answer #2 · answered by *walkinthelight* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a guy . . . but I think do believe that women and men can be friends and just friends. I am married, and I have a very good friend who is male, and we email each other all the time, and we talk on the phone, and there is no sex involved. We just enjoy each others company. He is married also. You are being a bit neurotic . . . besides, if he is going to cheat, there is nothing you can do about it anyway except leave him. I think you need concrete proof of that before you would do anything that drastic.
2006-09-25 10:18:36 · answer #3 · answered by imstillsandy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know ...it sounds kosher cause he's telling you and showing you their comunications...Can you invite her over to your home for dinner???if she likes your husband ( as a friend) may be you two will get along too.
I am single and have a guy friend at work and his girl friend works there too (in another department) Me and this guy hang out , call and text each other several times week.At first his girlfriend was worried but I made a effort to get to know her and now we are all friends ... honesty he's like my brother we mostly just bash on our coworkers and bosses. I would like to think this girl has morals and would not mess with a married man.
2006-09-25 10:24:30 · answer #4 · answered by yeah , yeah whatever 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not be comfortable with my husband being a "good friend" with a woman that he has known for a year and a half. In fact, it would be a very limited friendship. Office conversation is one thing but meeting up outside of work and phone calls and text messages daily? Oh no! This is jus t how it would be if I were in your shoes.
2006-09-25 11:28:50 · answer #5 · answered by yanistar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not being a complete idiot, because complete idiots are rare. However, you are running the risk of allowing your paranoias to destroy your relationship. The simple truth is that, if she can get him there is little or nothing you can do to stop it. What you can prevent is driving him into her arms and her bed by behaving like a jealous jerk. Life and relationships are based on risk. They are also based on trust.
That having been said, you could consider trying to make her your friend too. Plan parties, invite her to dinners. The more of a real, normal, likable, trusting person you become, it will be harder (not impossible, but harder) for her to go along with his betrayal of you.
2006-09-25 10:18:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know your hubby really well and trust him, then he is not doing anything. How about you try and get to know her? Maybe if you know more about her, you can learn to trust her. Casually suggest to your husband that any friend of his you would like to be friends with too. Suggest that the three of you go out to dinner together sometime, or something else like that where you can casually meet her.
2006-09-25 10:17:38 · answer #7 · answered by dogluver8906 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely meet her, then decide what to do. Push your husband to set up a dinner plan for the three of you. If there's nothing going on, he shouldn't feel like he has to keep this woman from you. You can watch them over dinner and decide if there's anything between them. Also, I bet it's easier to cheat with a guy when you've never met his wife. Once this woman meets you, if she had been thinking of stealing him away, maybe she'll have second thoughts.
2006-09-25 10:17:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you trust him...what does trusting her have to do with anything? She can not make him do anything he doesnt want to do. I am damn good friend ONLY with 4 guys and our friendships go back as far ar 18 years. One of my friends is married and he use to take me to lunch at least 3 times a week. She was in the picture before I came along but she knows there is nothing going on with us EVER because she trusts her husband and he has NEVER given her reason to not trust him. Unless your man gives you reason to not trust him.....TRUST HIM!
2006-09-25 10:17:07 · answer #9 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't walk through a mud puddle and not get dirty. If he loves you and wants to be true to you then he needs to stay out of situations that may lead to more with this "friend". True trust comes from doing more then just the minimum, it means doing everything to make that person know they are the most important person. He isn't doing enough to make you feel enough trust for him.
2006-09-25 10:17:51 · answer #10 · answered by gizbit76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋