My husband and I are still together working out our marriage. I fell out with my cousin for this and have not talked to her in months. We were very close; our kids grew up together and my son's birthday is coming up. He wants to invite her son. I don't know what to do. My feeling is H*LL NO.
2006-09-25 09:51:14 · 54 answers · asked by sassy lady 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dont bring your child into this. The only ones you are hurting are the kids. You son and her son didnt have any affair. They are innocent. I would invite them and let the kids enjoy themselves. Your husband wasnt innocent. If you forgave him then why not her? was she any more involved? it takes two.
I know it is hard but honestly just move on and stop holding a grudge. Either you are over it or you are not. If your not, then why still be with the husband????
2006-09-25 16:18:17 · answer #1 · answered by firemansgirl001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your son is having a birthday party and wants to invite his cousin, I wouldn't interfere with that. Your quarrel is with the mother/your cousin. I can understand you wanting no part of your cousin, but you should not transfer those ill feelings toward her son. Her son has done nothing to you or to your son. Leave that alone. After all, you are working to forgive your husband and in my opinion, he is undeserving of your forgiveness and the second chance you are giving him. What happened is between your cousin, your husband and you. It's not a good idea to drag the children into the mess.
2006-09-25 10:09:34 · answer #2 · answered by Call Me Babs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i was in your situation i would of divorced my husband. But since your still with him i recommend you inviting the lil boy to your son's birthday party. Have one of your family members pick him up on their way over to the party. It's not the kids fault that your husband and your cousin had an affair. Good luck w/ whatever you choose to do.
2006-09-25 10:58:27 · answer #3 · answered by BadAssGirlINWV 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that in this situation, the fall out is with the parents, NOT the children. Therefore, the children should not be involved. If it is very important to your son that his cousin be there, then why don't you go ahead and invite him? After all, it's only for a few hours. Also, maybe you could request that his mom doesn't stay for the party. She could just drop her child off. Good luck, I know this has got to be tough to deal with.
2006-09-25 09:54:42 · answer #4 · answered by LadyBug 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The kids did nothing wrong ... everyone in this situation needs to take a step back and realize you're all family ... no matter what they're always going to be there ... what your husband did was wrong and your cousin has some issues ... but your kids and her kids are still family and still love each other ... I would hate for my mom to tell me I can't see my cousins because of their problems ... I'd be pissed ... !
It's going to take a lot of time but you all need to forgive and forget ... if you want to continue your relationship with your husband ... it's up to you how long you want to hold this over their heads ... but don't drag other kids and family members into your drama ... sorry but true ... kids don't need to see family members fighting .. it sucks .. !
2006-09-25 09:58:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife thinks "No way!"
Your husband and your cousin will be realizing the damage done for a long while.
Of course, if you were to forgive them, let the cousin's son come. I wouldn't blame you for being reminded of the hurt, but it's not the boy's fault. Nobody said loving was easy.
2006-09-25 09:59:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with you, but my question to my husband would be "why are you trying to give her entrance to our lives???????" I personally wouldn't have him in my house either, but I guess I can understand wanting to keep a family together. You'll probably forgive your cousin in time, but you aren't ready yet. Hubby is quite bold at even suggesting her presence anywhere around (I'm assuming we are talking about relatively young kids, meaning her son would have to be brought to the party rather than coming on his own) I doubt she would show up anyway, because she should be too embarrassed.
2006-09-25 09:58:51 · answer #7 · answered by lilacslooklovely 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feeling is correct. Your feelings towards your cousin and her actions maybe directed at her son which is unfair. Just explain to your son that you are sure he can't come due to a prior engagement and that you are sure he wishes you a happy birthday. Continue working on your marriage.
2006-09-25 09:54:33 · answer #8 · answered by Mark S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know in a situation like this there is no real cut & dry answer. The one thing you must remember is blood is thicker than water. Sounds like you guys have a lot of history together. Has she tried to talk to you and is she sorry or does she just not care?? I wouldn't deprieve your son from seeing his son, if worse comes to worse see if there is anyway that you can have him there without her. Good luck!
2006-09-25 09:54:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wish i had a good answer for you. don't know what i would do. kids can not help what adults do. they are always the ones in the middle. go on and ivite the son. tell her what time the party will be over and she can pick him up if all else fails. my step son 19,now, was living still is who knows, with my 30 year old niece. now that is wierd
2006-09-25 10:40:34 · answer #10 · answered by mamma bird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋