Married for 3 years and the spark is most definately gone. We live together like roommates and our sex life is lukewarm at best. I've tried books, the internet, talking with him, and nothing works. I'm bored and so very tempted to just leave and find someone who I can have that firey romance with.
2006-09-25 09:44:00 · 10 answers · asked by brainy_blonde 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would think the most logical place to start would be a local church. The pastor would be willing to counsel you at no charge.
2006-09-25 09:48:58 · answer #1 · answered by ncmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Understand this. When the relationship is new, your body makes all kinds of chemicals, which create a 'high' and 'euphoria', and in time these chemicals dwindle. They are replaced with other chemicals that promote comfort, security, and acceptance for the long term.
Don;t make the mistake of choosing to be bored. It is up to you to make a greated contribution to the relationship. You have to tell your partner what you need, and what it would take to fulfil that need. And you have to be willing to do the same for your partner. This is so fixable.....
But it's not, if you go on thinking that it's up to your partner to "make you feel" like you did when the relationship was new. if this is your goal, don't get married, but rather keep cycling through relationships until 2-3 years, when the 'buzz' wears off.
But you chose marriage. You made a committment to the long term with this partner. You just have to learn to create the feelings you want by figuring them out and asking for them.
Turning away from your partner to another, is not only unfair but it lacks integrity. You will eventaully become ashamed of yourself as you should be.
You just have to seek to unerstand your partner before expecting to be understood. It's a good idea to walk in your partner's shoes and show some empathy, especially if you want them to do the same for you. You just have to make more effort to get what you want.
2006-09-25 17:05:06 · answer #2 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look in the phone book and find your local United Way office. They will most likely be able to refer you to counseling services that will be free or based on your income. A marriage is a serious commitment, not to be thrown away because you're bored. You will be doing both your husband and yourself a disservice if you throw your marriage away with out seeking counseling.
2006-09-25 16:53:44 · answer #3 · answered by EAmethyst 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most communities have marriage counselors that will work on a sliding fee scale. Look through your yellow pages under counseling because some times they even say that in their ad. Good luck.
2006-09-25 16:47:54 · answer #4 · answered by WiserAngel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can pack up and move home without warning one day. It might take him a bit to find you but let him search. When he finally comes around. Let him know you are prepared to stay away if he is not going to work on it. Lay down the law. One finger in anger he gets assault charges,Period. Give him a strong effective wake up call. If he does not come around have a lawyer in place.
2006-09-25 16:56:11 · answer #5 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To bring back the fire.
1. I would try to cook home cook meals daily.
2. Make candle light bath with soft music.
3. Clean your home.
4. Laugh at his jokes.
5. Rub his feet.
6. Walk around the house in some of your "Victoria Secrets with heels on."
It may sound crazy but men like a clean house with a home cook meal.
A lot of American woman does not like to cook, clean and be nice to their husbands, and men are very very simple. Did you read the book "Proper care and feeding of husbands."
2006-09-25 16:56:27 · answer #6 · answered by Errolyn27 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Never give up on marriage, remember, for good, or for bad. Try seeking help through the church, they have marriage counseling classes.
2006-09-25 16:57:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why is the spark gone?
ask yourself what you would ask someone in your situation- what advice would you give them?
i say seduce him- try different things - if he still doesn't budge - then tell him you are unhappy and thinking of leaving
2006-09-25 16:48:00 · answer #8 · answered by gabby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE GOOD WITH THE BAD IN A MARRIAGE. IF YOU ARE TRULY UNHAPPY, FINISH ONE RELATIONSHIP BEFORE STARTING ANOTHER.
NO ONE EVER SAID BEING MARRIED WAS EASY.
2006-09-25 16:58:00 · answer #9 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you said to him , im considering leaving you because it seems like you are doing all the work and researching and what is he doing?
2006-09-25 16:47:09 · answer #10 · answered by hamhead 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋