How can I put things right? My husband wants to hit me and said if he does then things can go back to the way they were. I don't want him to hit me, just forgive me. He is really angry and I can't talk to him. He has never hit me before. What will save my marriage? Please help.
2006-09-25 09:14:56 · 45 answers · asked by he_dared_to_rock 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm not really a drinker, I have a few now and again and I'm fine with that. I was at a friends house and we had a drinking game. I mixed my drinks quite alot. The other guy told me I was wrong to do it, he didn't take advantage or lead me on. He's a good friend of ours.
2006-09-25 09:22:42 · update #1
Whoah....there is no excuse for physical violence. Your husband should not lay a hand on you even if you are sleeping with the entire town.
It sounds like you are truly sorry and embarrassed by what you did and very committed to fixing your marriage. Verbalize that to him and then follow through with it. Tell him you will do anything (short of letting him hurt or abuse you) to make it up to you. Tell him you love and respect him and that you hope one drunken mistake will not erase years of happy marriage. Tell him you will stop drinking, stop hanging out with that guy, and will do anything he needs to you to do to regain his trust.
You can make it work.
2006-09-25 09:20:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
We've all done things when we were drunk that we've later regretted,but that does'nt mean, regardless that you did kiss another man,that you should allow your husband to hit you.
Explain to him that it was an impulse kiss,not a planned one,that you feel really aweful about it,but you are not prepared to allow him to hit you.
Express to him that you will never do anything like it again.
His pride is very hurt,and if you reversed the situation, you would probably feel the same,except that being a woman, you would probably have already hit him and possibly the other person as well. You know what us women can be like.It won't be easy living with him, but time is a great healer,just confirm how much you love him and show him as well.However, if he can't find itin his heart to forgive you, he never really loved you in the first place. 7 years is a of time to let go for a stupit drunken kiss. Good luck.
2006-09-28 00:51:48 · answer #2 · answered by animalwatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hitting you is not the answer. First forgive yourself, then move forward. Drinking is not an excuse, so don't use it. You made a mistake, put it behind you. We are human, none of us is perfect. As long as you correct the root of the problem, then the heartache won't be for nothing.
Look deep in yourself as to why you kissed the guy. Be honest with yourself with no lies. You will find a reason deep down. After you are comfortable with the reason, talk to your husband about the reason as you express your sorrow for not sharing the emotion sooner and doing what you did. Then maybe you can address the issue together to make your relationship even better then it was before. Him getting stupid angry can be forgiven, he's human too remember. If he still wants to hit you after he calms down and you talk to him, then you really should question his motives and your safety. Good Luck.
2006-09-25 09:23:32 · answer #3 · answered by Thomas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you have a very nice husband there, I am not suprised you kissed another guy, you say your husband wants to HIT you and then all will be as before? I don't want to ask how that was. Look love, do yourself a big favor and kiss some more guys, I can tell you that there are some really nice, caring guys around. I am married and am always kissing and flirting with guys, my husband knows and is often around to witness it too!! the difference is he trusts me and I trust him, we go home together. You have a lost cause on your hands here, for you to go back to how you were is unthinkable, I am just praying you two have no children that you can ruin in the process.
2006-09-25 23:21:03 · answer #4 · answered by pottydotty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to think why you kissed this guy in the first place. There has to be a reason. Did you feel the need to be reminded of how attractive you are? maybe you feel your husband isn't attentive enough to you. If this is the case it is probably due to bad communication on both your parts. Figure out what is really going on with you, drunk or not you did kiss the guy and if you were truly happy in your marriage you would not have done it. You need to sort that out in your head first before you even begin to try putting things right with your husband
2006-09-25 09:33:59 · answer #5 · answered by pamperpooch39 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made a mistake and now it is time for damage control. The BIG problem is him wanting to hit you! It sounds as though you guys have had problems before. I would go stay with a family member or friend for a while. Let him cool off. He will either chill out or not and if not then you know he is not safe to be around. At least you did not have sex.
Best of luck to you guys.
2006-09-25 09:33:31 · answer #6 · answered by Hollli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-02-11 03:24:55 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about your dilemma, but no matter what, DO NOT LET YOUR HUSBAND HIT YOU! Drunk of not, yes you were wrong. Your husband seeing that obviously had a dramatic impact for him and he may need some time to sort through his feelings and cool off. Forgive yourself first and dont feel like you need any punishment for a mistake you made, we all make them including your husband. Personally, I feel if he loves you he would'nt want to inflict any pain on you especially phyically. No man or woman deserves to be hit no matter what they do. Good Luck!
2006-09-25 09:31:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you don't drink much but how about taking a pledge NEVER to touch another drop of drink EVER AGAIN. This sacrifice will clearly show your husband that you believe your dalliance was totally because of the drink AND that you believe your marriage is worth more to you than anything else.
2006-09-25 23:45:40 · answer #9 · answered by Drummer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if there is something else other then hitting that will make things right. Tell him you are truly sorry for what you did and that you were drunk when it happened. And that it would of never gone any further then a kiss. Good luck.
2006-09-25 09:20:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋