My husband says that he is tired from working (he does work a lot) so I told him that he should go take a nap?

Question

My husband says that he is tired from working (he does work a lot) so I told him that he should go take a nap. He said I'm not tired like that I am worn out. He told me to try working 7 days a week without decent sleep. I told him that I do that every single day even the days when is off of work. (I am a SAHM who has a toddler and I go to college online and do all the housework, shopping, cater to him, etc.) He's so wonderful some days and some days I just want to leave him because he is so difficult and irritable and he picks fights even when I am trying to be nice. Whats going wrong and any suggestions on how can I fix it?

I used to work full time and at some points I would work two jobs so being hardworking is not an issue here. I helped him out fiancially before we got pregnant and I made more money and worked longer hours so I know where he is coming from.

Answer 1

He is over worked and over tired , his mind is exhausted and his body.He needs his own time and space as you do..Be patient and don't give him any reason to get angry,it wont take much to set him off.you say there are some days you want to leave . well he may feel the same at times. all work and no play makes people very upset. having sex is probably not the answer. He needs to talk to his boss and explain that he is getting burned out from so much work especially 7 days a week.if his boss is understandable he will make arrangements So your husband can at least have one day off a week and if that happens let your husband decide what he wants to do if anything..

Answer 2

I think you have been really unfair and extremely insensitive to your husband. I worked full time in the day and went to law school at night (did the same for college) - I was so exhausted and suffered from chronic fatigue. The fatigue is really debilitating and I was really depressed. It put a strain on my relationship but my boyfriend (now my husband) was really supportive - it made all the difference. It may not seem like much, but a 5 minute back rub a few times a week could make your husband feel so much better and lift his spirits. He could reciprocate, and you can take turns doing little things like that. He is wound up so tight that everything is bugging him. He doesn't want to start fights but he is just so tired and frustrated.

Answer 3

It is so easy to take your partner for granted. He goes to work everyday, and probably thinks you get off easy by getting to stay home. You probably think you would love to be able to get away and have adult conversations everyday. It is the age old argument.

Maybe you need to get a part time job so he can cut back on his hours and be home with the kids. That would give you a better idea of what he goes through, and he would definetly respect what you do at him more.

Nothing is going wrong in your marriage. If he is working 7 days a week, he must be absolutely exhausted. That is not your fault, but unfortunelty we take our frustrations out on the ones we love the most. Be patient with him and try to come up with a way help him with the financial side of things so he can be home more.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Sounds like he doesn't see and realize just what it is you do all day. And how can he, if he comes home to a clean house and dinner on the table then he has nothing to worry about. He is at work all day he doesn't see what you have to go through in order to make it worry free when he comes home.

If it isn't like this when he comes home then maybe you should evaluate just what it is you do do all day. Remember he isn't taking time out of his day to browse the internet and watch tv (not saying you do, only you know that). He is hard at work all day trying to make a living so you don't have to work so you can stay at home with your children and go to school.

If he is lashing out, picking fights, then something is wrong and maybe he just doesn't know how to approach the subject or know how to deal with the problem.

Have him watch the show called wife swap. It's on ABC but not sure what night. It might open his eyes a little.

Unfortunately we have to sometimes take the bad along with the good in a relationship.

Try someday when he is in a good mood to discuss your feelings with him. Becareful not to use phrases like you hurt me, or you make me feel (anything that will point the finger) start out with I feel as if... Or I feel unappriciated when...

You have to help him be aware of how you feel unappriciated without directly pointing the finger and making it sound like an accusation. Most everybody I know gets defensive if they feel they are being accused of something.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

My husband is the same way so I just go away for a while until he cools off or until he gets some rest.Because I am a house wife so he says there is no reason to be tired I think so when you are dealing with a one year old and three year old when he gets out of school and cooking and cleaning that is a job.

Answer 6

I have been both a SAHM and also one who works a lot of hours. Staying at home never ever compares to a full time job. On a job, you have deadlines, people to answer to, a lot of stress and pressure etc. Unless your child is a total brat, kids really aren't that hard to keep up with or take care of. Mine are 2 years apart. I went back to work because I felt lazy. Don't compare what you do to what he does, because it is apples and oranges. He is tired, he needs some space and understanding. Quit being a spoiled brat.

Answer 7

I don't know...I think that people are so crude and rude and care so little about other people that they can't comprehend anything other than satisfying their need for "gossip." If you show some emotion, and cry, and break down, I think that's the only way they'll leave you alone. But I would never want you to go through that. I'm so sorry...

Answer 8

You need to respect your husband for all the good he is doing and the hard work he is doing for the wellbeing of your family. It is because he works hard that you are afforded the opportunity of staying home with your child. I object to you saying that you "cater to him" - don't you love him and cherish him? Why would you use such a demeaning phrase? You had better think long and hard about the position you are in and be grateful.

Answer 9

It sounds like a complex problem coming up....so before it gets out of hand sit him down, and ask if there is anyway he can cut-down on hours he works.
I think also that before resentment sets in, from husband....you need the both of you.....to work this out.Quickly.
So then you can also write down on paper, how much of your time is taken up.But you both need to come to terms, with it.....
Men often do work fair too hard, and see women as having it easy?..which is not the case.If you both after one month, are not able to work it out....seek help.Never let it get too bad.o.k.....

Answer 10

He just needs a break bc he has no time to recooperate from working. And society it is hard bc you either need both spouses to be working or one working all the time!!

So try to take some time for you to bc work and no play will make anyone irritable including you!!