Why does everyone automatically assume that having a baby will ruin their lives (details)?

Question

I'm not trying to turn this into a nasty prolife/prochoice debate. What I'm curious about is why do girls/young women think this? When they find out they're pregnant, their first thought is, "I can't have this baby...it'll ruin my life!" (Not ALL of them obviously, but a good many of them.) Why is this? Is this what their teaching in sex-ed these days? Are their parents telling them this? Are they seeing it on TV? How would a 17 or 18 year old girl possibly know how much it costs to raise a baby? How do they KNOW they can't do it until they try? Or until they talk with women who have had babies?

Whoops! I meant to say Why do so many people automatically assume that... Didn't mean to imply that everyone thinks this way. lol

Answer 1

It's not that they CAN'T raise the baby it's that they don't WANT to. Teens/young women are so selfish these days that they'd go so far as to kill a child just because they don't want responsibilities. My thing is this: They know the consequinces of sex and they should have to live with it.

Answer 2

Being male my opinion on this may not mean as much admittedly because I can never be directly in this situation.

But having said that here is my thoughts...

I do not believe this is being taught in sex ed... they may be teaching that it is life changing but that is so that people take the decision to have sex seriously. It is not meant to mean that it is a bad thing.

I do think some of this attitude does come from the media since everytime you see a women in an unexpected pregnancy on TV they are automatically in a horrible situation that they have to do something about. But TV spins everything in ways that 1 will drive ratings and 2 that server the producers desires.

Parents may also contribute to this because if a child becomes pregnant more than likely they will have to help deal with it, which will add additional stress to the family.

Now once you get past all of the outside influences it's also a somewhat automatic response because as children we see our parents working so hard, so often to support and take care of us and when that is suddenly what we are unexpectedly facing it can be a shocking reality that many may not be ready for.

And it will change a persons life it just doesn't have to be for the worse.

Answer 3

If you're ready, having a baby is great. Having a baby changes your life, you can no longer focus on yourself. If you're not ready or you're under 18 a baby CAN ruin your life. Do you really want emotionally unstable people raising babies? Obviously you're not worried about "family values", because those come from stable families!

As for the $ issue, how is a teenager going to make enough $ to raise a baby AND finish high school? They'd have to have some very supportive parents! Plus young parents usually end up splitting up because of the stress. It takes a lot of time and energy (not to mention $) to raise a child. If you think everyone who gets pregnant should bring the baby to term and raise it themselves, then you better be willing to dish out some welfare $, childcare subsudies, free healthcare and free counseling services. Most pro-lifers aren't willing to put their $ where their mouth is. Sure they care about the baby while the mom's pregnant, after that she's on her own! Babies aren't pets or toys. Being a parent takes maturity and responsibility. Kids/teenagers need a chance to grow up and find their own path before having babies. If you're so pro-life, you should encourage adoption, it's a win/win situation.

Answer 4

I think that they have input from parents and the media (many programs stress how difficult it is), or the lucky few have seen a friend go through it and have first-hand witnessed:
-often a lack of a stable partner
-lack of good employment (high school or recent graduate jobs do not pay well) which causes difficulty in getting good daycare, buying what the baby needs, good health insurance.
-decreased likelihood that they will attend college- it's a trade off. If you must work, you have to also make a choice to see your child less and go to school.
-being unprepared emotionally to deal with someone needing them 24-7
-the inability to have time on their own- you learn so much about yourself in those first few years.

I think it's better that they think it's too hard than too easy. Parenting is not easy. It's especially more difficult as a teen. I realize that some girls have an easier time of it, but most do not.

Answer 5

Why are you asking this question? Are you part of the Gabriel project or something? What do you know about raising children (or how much it costs)? Each woman is entitled to her own opinion and her own decisions. I agree that as much information as possible should be provided so that a girl/woman can make an informed decision. The people who think a baby is too hard for them, are usually right. Some people who think a baby is "nothing" end up with 6 of them, become a drain on welfare, and end up raising criminals. I maybe stereotyping, but then again, so are you.

Answer 6

That is what they are teaching in sex-ed these days. They are trying to scare kids into not having sex. They tell the girls that having a baby when you are young will ruin your life and take away your childhood. It might make you grow up to fast but your life is just beginning. I know from experience. I had my little girl when i was 19 and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Answer 7

I understand what you are implying and asking. When a woman no matter the age experiences an unexpected pregnancy they are bombarded with a ton of feelings. They range from excitement to resentment. Most of the time what is said is purely that, just something being said. I know when we were suprised with the news of a new baby it went through my head but now that he is here I would not have changed a thing and we just found out we are expecting again.

Answer 8

I had my son at 18. I wouldn't say that I thought it would ruin my life... but adults around me did try pushing that thought on me. People would ask, "What are you going to do?" It hurt a lot and made me feel more negativity about the situation.
I am now 25, married and 39 wks pregnant. Looking back...my son saved my life. I was not a good kid, probly the reason I was pregnant at 17.

Answer 9

when u are young its better not to have chillden in my opinion because u never know if the dad will stick, around also unless you are rich can a 18 year old really afford extra food clothes start a college fund, i couldnt, plus i would like to have a little more time to compleete my degrees for my career, u know, get settled, 60% of my girls i went to school with have at least one kid, less than 10% are single and living off their parents i dont think that right , i think girls should wait untill about 25-29 y.o to have kids.

Answer 10

I am not for abortion (baby murder) but I can see how a women would think that way. Like myself.
It doesnt really ruin your life though, having a baby, it just kinda puts it on the back burner.
Its like pressing the pause button for a few years.
Your old life may indeed be gone ith a baby, but you do get a better one afterwards, with a baby!