I met my ex-boyfriend in 91. We were together until 95. We broke up over a silly thing. We re-connected in 97. Unfortunately by then, I was engaged to someone else. Been married since 98. I don't love my husband as a wife should. I love him for being a wonderful father and a friend. I don't think I'll ever grow to love him in that way. This past friday I did an online background check and tracked down my ex. I called him and told him that after all these years, I still loved him. He said he'd also done a background check and had tracked me down. He said he was on his way to my home when I called. The problem - My son means the world to me. My husband means the world to my son. I'm not happy in the marriage and would like to leave. My parents and family also love my husband and would be upset if I left him. Shall I follow my heart and leave my husband for my ex? Should I sacrafice my happiness and stay with my husband for my son's sake ? What to do?
2006-09-25 08:57:28 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well heck sweety, I still love my x-wife, but that don't mean I'm in love with her, you never forget ever, you must just learn to move on..Loving your x is what makes you a better person,...Your friend from Tennessee....ROB
2006-09-25 09:01:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever loved your husband as a wife should? Don't you think for the sake of your son you should give your marriage a change and put some real effort into it before you just leave? Does you husband even know that you are unhappy with your marriage? If you hadn't found your ex would you still feel the way you do right now? There are alot more details needed to really address this question but with the information given my answer would be to fight for you marriage before you just give it up so easily, go to counseling, talk to your husband about what makes you unhappy, that kind of thing, and if it doesn't work at least you will know in your heart that you tried because once you walk away things will NEVER be the way they were before....OKAY after seeing this question that you asked : I've been developing some feelings for a guy from work. Problem - I'm married.?
I started a new job a few months ago and is how I met this guy, who is also married. We speak to each other on a daily basis. We even take our breaks and go to lunch together. We have so much in common. I love my husband very much, but at the same time I want to be with this guy. He asked me out for friendly drinks and I said yes. I know that if do meet him for drinks, I will be all over him. I'm tempted to go and see what happens. What makes it exciting is that my husband is away on a business trip and would never ever find out if I actually did something with this guy. Do you think I should go and see what happens?...I have changed my mind, you OBVIOUSLY have no respect for the vows you took or for the man you took them with. If you really cared about your son's well being you wouldn't be trying to get with everything except for your husband. People like you disgust me. Oh yeah...such a coincidence that your ex was on his way to your house at the very moment you called and talked to him LMAO!!!!!!!!
2006-09-25 09:07:05 · answer #2 · answered by klillie0261 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should think about it for awhile. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. On the otherhand, you can't stay in a marriage and be miserable for your child. It may take a lot of adjusting for him, as well as your husband, but in the end all three of you will be better off....and happy! You deserve to be happy, and so does your current husband. Does he know you're unhappy and feel the way you do? Once it's all said and done, he'll be able to move on and find someone who loves him in "that way".
As far as your son goes....he'll be happier NOT growing up in a disfunctional household. Good luck.
2006-09-25 09:12:49 · answer #3 · answered by kristieblades 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should commit yourself to your family and marriage and only leave when you have exausted all avenues. You should try counseling and open communication and discussing your unhappiness with your husband. Only after trying everything should you give up on your marriage and your family. And no, you should not go back with your ex until you are divorced and have worked all of the issues with that and healed yourself as a person.
If your husband is abusive (physically or emotionally) then I do think you should leave him, but not just to get back together with your ex. Do what you think is best for your child, not yourself.
2006-09-25 09:11:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
life is more than just the husband and wife, the problems here is you not your ex or your husband, you should think of the consequences, put your son & maybe down the road you have a daughter that is in the same situation like you, so what do you feel about that? to me its sound like you're still young so why dont you go out there and enjoy your life leave you son to your husband, i dont even care how u turned out down the road i just feel sorry for your husband and your son . good luck
2006-09-25 09:23:16 · answer #5 · answered by kevin n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband is playing the part he's supposed to. unfortunately this is why divorces happen so often, seriously you are not a bad person for still loving your ex! if there is any way of not leaving your husband but coming to an understanding about maybe seeing this other person... it's sound cruel, but that IS human nature!
and secondly, if you are unhappy in your marriage you would be a better mother for your son if your were truly happy...
2006-09-25 09:02:43 · answer #6 · answered by kissed_by_a_nymph 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not saying you should go back to the ex, but if your unhappy in your marriage AND don't want to work it out..you should end your marriage. Your son would not be losing his father...he just wouldnt be living with his father. I hope you dont feel the way for your hubby BECAUSE of the ex. Also, your wrong to be looking up the ex when and while your still married....your basically cheating lady.
2006-09-25 09:01:16 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen, you made a promise..till death do you part. It's not like your husband abuses you or neglects you. You should work at your marriage and forget your ex. You don't know what his intentions are. You don't know if he'll be a good father to your son or a good husband. Every relationship goes through hard times, this is yours. Don't throw away a marriage because of urges.
2006-09-25 09:04:28 · answer #8 · answered by cyber_music 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
By all means, go with your heart...and coochie too.
All that is important is that your happy and in love.
Screw the fact that it will ruin your husband.
Your kid is young, he can bounce back from a divorce. So what if his mom looked up an exlover and ran off with him? As long as your happy.
If you don't love your husband as a wifwe should (Which is obvious if your looking up past lovers) then you need to do him a favor and leave him.
Don't cheat on him.
Don't lie to him.
Do him the kindest favor you can.
Just leave him and allow him to hopefully find someone that DOES love him like a wife should before she agrees to marry his butt.
2006-09-25 09:05:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Grow up. Consider what it would be like to break your son's heart over a this guy you haven't seen in years. Go get counseling and get your head on straight before you do something to ruin your child's life. If you still want to leave after that, go.
2006-09-25 09:14:53 · answer #10 · answered by Buffy Summers 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sit down and shut up. You found a man that is good to you and what do you do? You cheat on him, even if not physically yet, your heart is there. You disgust me! You deserve to be thrown on the street without your chilld and made to fend for yourself. Feel lucky you have a good man and cease contact with you ex IMMEDIATELY!
Funny how women condemn men for the very thing your considering. But when you flip it around, I guess men are still dogs and a "mom" needs her happiness so it's O.K. for women. BULL. YOU SAID LOVE, HONOR, CHERISH, & OBEY. Which on of those promises that you said before you friends, family and god are you keeping. NONE in my opinion. Zip your pants up and go home to the good man who is keeping his vows. You don't deserve him.
2006-09-25 09:03:07 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋