I am recently seperated, I met someone I really want to know better. I just moved out and I went out a couple of times with him. He says that because I am still married, he doesn't want this to be happening. I feel that I am ready to just get on with life and date, nothing serious. Is this too soon? I have only been gone three weeks.
2006-09-25 08:28:33 · 34 answers · asked by hawkespatricia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This marriage was over 4 years ago, I stayed in the house to help out with my step-son. He is now sleeping with my ex-business partner(ex because of this)
2006-09-25 08:44:45 · update #1
If you want to date already after three weeks, it sounds like you are not even considering ever going back. Do you think it's over?
2006-09-25 08:46:04 · answer #1 · answered by whitebird002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Living in limbo is the worst. I filed for divorce and its now going on year three for the trial date due to the court and the ex. I think that its okay to date, spend time with others and it is not cheating if you are separated by the court and that you have a docket number. But give yourself the time before moving into a serious relationship with him. If you have kids keep your adult dating life and kids separate. The kids are going through a lot of changes too. They don't need to be involved with another person until you know for sure where it might lead.
2006-09-25 09:01:09 · answer #2 · answered by chancesare45 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three weeks isn't very long but it depends on where you've been emotionally for the last length of time before your separation.
In general I'd say that it's much too soon to become involved with someone. You need to get your own house in order before you have anything to offer someone else. You've got to respect this guy for not wanting to be involved with a married woman. If he cares he'll wait. Until then you might suggest you just stay friends.
2006-09-25 08:32:46 · answer #3 · answered by janisko 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's only been 3 weeks and you feel like this... I come to only two conclusions about your marriage:
1. It was OVER A LONG TIME AGO.
2. The separation is YOUR FAULT - cheating... misleading the hubby - what have you...
That being said, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and just assume that #1 is the real reason. If you really like this new guy, then get the divorce finalized A.S.A.P.
2006-09-25 08:34:31 · answer #4 · answered by tbayxxxv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm also newly separated-4 months. I was dating a guy for about 2 months and had to end it because he was moving way too fast for me. He was talking about moving in with him and getting married, yada, yada, yada. I'm like, whoa. I still have 9 months before I can get out of this marriage. He couldn't slow down so I put a stop to it-I'm no longer seeing him. His divorce was due to be finalized in a couple of weeks. He seemed obsessed about remarrying but EVERYONE MOVES AT THERE OWN PACE. If you're ready (and you're sure it's over between your soon to be ex), go for it. If the guy isn't interested in dating a separated woman-find one that is. I personally like to take things slow and easy, maybe the guy you went out with is that way too. If you really like him, maybe you guys can be friends and let things develop slowly. I can understand his reluctance-many separated couples end up back together-leaving a trail of hurt feelings.
2006-09-25 08:45:39 · answer #5 · answered by stormywthr64 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think this is too soon. Three weeks is not enough time to have resolved issues with your husband. You are still legally married. Even if during the separation period you decide to date, now is too soon. I can imagine that you are lonely and would like companionship but give it some time, if not you could find yourself in a similar if not worse situation.
2006-09-25 08:33:54 · answer #6 · answered by DaddysGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in your place i would still waite at least three months, till i start dating and have a new boyfriend. it is good to just think about the past relationship, and why it went wrong and just feel the pain, it hurts in the first moments, but after months you let go, and heal and move on with your life. i say if with this guy or anyone else, just wait a couple of months before you start something serious.
2006-09-25 08:32:28 · answer #7 · answered by franky c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, yeah, maybe it could be too soon. Try not making decisions right away. Give it some time. But, after about a year or so, and you still feel this way, then maybe it is best for you to move on and to date other people. It's totally up to you!
2006-09-25 08:32:08 · answer #8 · answered by *~*RaChAel*~* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not too soon if you're taking it slowly and as long as you're legally separated. Don't rush into anything. If you mean "get to know better" as in a physical relationship I think your progressing too fast. If you're just looking for good company and someone to have platonic fun with it's fine. Tread carefully, you are after all still married, make sure it's ok with your ex before you get into trouble.
2006-09-25 08:35:17 · answer #9 · answered by i have no idea 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it might be too soon. Are you and your husband going to be getting a divorce or is there a chance for reconciliation? These are things that need to be taken care of before you move onto another relationship. No one wants to be the rebound guy or get involved with you and develop feelings only to find out you are going back to your husband.
2006-09-25 08:33:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋