child's face and see them knowing that you will never enjoy their lives together with your former spouse? It about breaks my heart but I don't know what to do and I don't know how to live with my former spouse so that we can make it work for our kids. What do you do?
2006-09-25 08:27:28 · 11 answers · asked by ooolala 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The older they are the older they will begin to understand... my ex and I divorced 4 years ago and I will never forget the looks on my sons' faces but we both talked and talked to them, especially to let them know that none of this was their fault.
Over time, they noticed that our lives improved. We both still made it to parent-teacher meetings, hospital appointments, after-school events, graduations... but now, we both were more cheerful, healthier, more spiritual. So the kids, realized that divorce wasn't the end of the their world but improved on a lot of things.My ex wife and I are still introduced as "My mother and my father" so that's whats most important; that you'll both still be there to support them.
2006-09-25 08:42:46 · answer #1 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It did break my heart in the beginning when my little girl was missing her dad so much. But as time went on I noticed that she's happier now that we are not together. She realizes that her mom is a lot happier now. She understands that mom and dad still love her but sometimes adults just can't live together or get along anymore. She still misses her dad at times but she really looks forward to the time that she spends with him now-which is more now than when we were together. Don't ever let your child forget: They did nothing wrong, it's not their fault. Mom and dad love them very much and that will never change. Also, if you're feeling a lot of guilt about this and it shows, then the child will probably feel worse too. I've learned that my children react to my emotions as well as their own. I believe the one thing a couple should not do is stay together for the sake of the children. It never works, someone will suffer because of it.
2006-09-25 15:57:00 · answer #2 · answered by stormywthr64 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont regret the divorce because he was a loser and losers have NO place in me or my kids lives. Your kids pain should be eased if both you and your ex are making yourkids your top priority by spending time with them and supporting them. You should NOT live with your formal spouse. You kids will get use to the fact that mommy and daddy dont live together and its up to you two adults to make sure the kids know that even thought they aren't together...we are still loved by the both of them.
2006-09-25 15:34:26 · answer #3 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to make a decision based on the needs of everyone involved. Kids are resilient and in time their own lives take on their own needs. Sometimes, things can not be worked out to the satisfaction of each family members expectation. You might try counseling to see if you two can make a life together and with your family. I chose divorce...there are ramifications in staying or leaving. Make the best choice in your mind....good luck.
2006-09-25 15:32:55 · answer #4 · answered by jodie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I divorced my ex 3 yrs ago, and my daughter still misses him and says she wants us back together to this day. I dont think they ever get over it, but you can make it easier by making sure they know just bcuz daddy doesnt live with us anymore, he still loves you, and that you will always be there. They are feeling very insecure right now, just be there and talk to them about it, and listen. They will be ok, just love them like you obviously do, and over time it will work out. Just remember why you left, and remind yourself you are doing this for them too. They will understand later.
2006-09-25 15:32:16 · answer #5 · answered by Kuiper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make it up to your kids by next time being more careful before you get into a long term relationsihip with somoene. Kids suffer for our bad choices unfortunately, and too many people won't accept that a divorce is their fault, for getting into into the ill-fated marriage in the first place.
2006-09-25 15:36:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just allow you children to grow up and accept the fact that some times in life Mommies and Daddies can be friends with out living together and sometimes its better for them not to see you fight so they can be happy.
2006-09-25 15:30:22 · answer #7 · answered by skawp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be friends. Really you should try to be best friends. Now i don't mean telling him every thing like you would a girl friend. If your child does something bad, cute, funny, you share that with them. If your child is having a bad day you share that with them . any thing you would have found a need to share with the other parent when you were married you share with them. Parenting responsibilities, milestones, financial support, disciplining, every thing involving the child.
2006-09-25 15:42:27 · answer #8 · answered by same boat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You move on. Later in life your child will realize that your life together would have been miserable and it was for the best.
2006-09-25 15:29:03 · answer #9 · answered by Lenny B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
compromise!! it works both ways...you don't want to do it alone..
2006-09-25 15:36:14 · answer #10 · answered by guess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋