One of my bestfriends is 24 years old and she has been married for 5 years. She has 2 kids also with her husband. She has been talking to an old boyfriend alot lately and she is starting to get some feelings for him. He is all that she talks about now and it is driving my crazy because she is gonna end up making a huge mistake (if she hasn't already!) What do I tell her when she asks for my advice? I don't want her to cheat on her husband, but I just have this feeling that she will do something like that. To make matters worse, her ex boyfriend is supposed to be getting married next spring too!!! Please help, I am confused as to what to do...
2006-09-25 08:15:00 · 8 answers · asked by Jennifer Lindeman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just continue to give the same advice that you're stating here... I would also ask her to refrain from bringing up her ex in your conversations. List the important things her family should mean to her and what she risks losing if she does cheat on her husband. Tell her you don't think you could lie if her husband questioned you about what you suspect and you don't think you could hang out with an adulterer.
2006-09-25 08:34:09 · answer #1 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend that she is shallow and vain if she would abandon her children and husband for another man. So she's 24. It's her fault that she got married and had kids so young.
Why is the divorce rate so high? Why can't people just keep it in their pants? Relationships aren't about love and emotion - it's a unit, it's a family, and when someone ABANDONS that unit, it causes great pain and torment and anguish.
Why don't you ask her if she enjoys the idea of throwing her kids in front of a speeding bus. Because if she screws this one up - that is what she's doing.
You get married young - welcome to the real world where it isn't always sunshine and roses and you don't always get your way. Sorry - but once you have those kids your life is OVER! No more of that "I want to have fun and go on a fling and ..." That's all gone. Now you are a parent for the rest of your life.
Actually - just tell her to grow up.
FP
2006-09-25 15:20:49 · answer #2 · answered by F. Perdurabo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all when yo talk to her tell her that you are doing so because you care for her and the future of her children and her marriage. Tell her that you think that the relationship with the ex is getting a little out of control and she is losing focus on what she should be focusing on which is her current husband and children. Ask her what her infatuation is with this guy and is she so interested because he has some qualities that lack in her marriage. If her answer is yes then I would recommend to her that she discuss those issues with her husband to try to get them resolved or seek marriage counceling. She has time to change this situation before it escalates out of control and before she does something that could ruin her marriage and devistate her children. Sounds to me like she got married young and is regretting living a litte more before settling down. You have to tell her that she made a choice years ago and she has the responsibility to live up to her commitments. Selfishness is not her answer. Good luck and hope this has helped.
2006-09-25 15:27:05 · answer #3 · answered by Stacy H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you respect the sanctity of marriage, then it is your duty to tell your friend that whatever she is about to do with this other guy is a sin. To do this to her husband and kids says a lot about her as a person. For one she has no sense of morals and values, two, she is rather self serving and she ought to use better judgment.
You say she is your best, if you want to help. Just talk to her, advice her of the foolishness she is doing to herself & family.
2006-09-25 15:44:11 · answer #4 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know I may sound old fashioned, but in such situations I always consult the Bible. IF she asks I would tell her she is playing with fire and a lot of innocent beings are going to be badly burned. She needs to devote all this "spare" time to her husband and children.
2006-09-25 15:24:40 · answer #5 · answered by 321Taylor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's gonna do what she's gonna do, there's not much you can help her with. Sounds like she's unhappy, and is trying to run away from it instead of facing it.
2006-09-25 15:32:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
alls you can do is be hoenst with her. She is the only one who can make her decisions.
2006-09-25 15:19:39 · answer #7 · answered by oxygenO 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to think about ____________ and ____________.... and put her kids names in the blanks.
2006-09-25 15:18:32 · answer #8 · answered by jh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋