I know my boyfriend loves me but he needs to wake up and see that i am the only one working for us to survive, I pay rent , pay for the phone etc....He keeps telling me his going to do something try , but play games on computer constantly all nite, while I am sleeping., and talk to to his team members while he plays. I love him , I know I need to do something to wake him up . Otherwise everything is going to fall apart. How do I get strength for him!
2006-09-25 08:10:11 · 25 answers · asked by Tellie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Thank You Everyone For your answers , I can't choose the best too many helpfull answers. Thanks !
2006-09-25 08:37:21 · update #1
stop paying for the rent and bills and tell him a man is only a man if he takes responsibilities. if he still doesn't get a job move out and rent a place of your own away from him and them he will come running to you cos he will have no money no home and most importantly no job!
if he still doesn't get a job, then dump him cos he will be too lazy to love you. i bet he loves his vice city games more than you! no offence
oh and take all the stuff that you own(must be everything!) with you. he is worthless
2006-09-25 08:16:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not responsible for giving him strength. Why are you paying all of the bills and allowing to live there off of you. A man that doesn't work doesn't eat. He is not going to get a job as long as you allow him to stay with you for free. How long has he been telling you that he is going to get a job? Love doesn't pay the bills. If you are paying the bills by yourself, you should be living by yourself. You are getting the short end of the stick. Are you doing all of the cooking and cleaning too? He'll never do anything more than what he is going right now..........unless you put your foot down and stop babying him.
2006-09-25 08:30:04 · answer #2 · answered by DaddysGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to say it but really the best option to get him to notice things OTHER than his games, is to almost make it seem like you're becoming interested in other people.................I'm not saying go out or anything with anyone else, but do things that from the outside, make it seem like you have a new "friend" or something. Dont pay much attention to him.......he'll wake up when he starts getting lonely and all.......his little gamer buddies would probably pick on him after a while anyway of wanting to play games over be with you and make REAL life work first.
2006-09-25 08:15:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. This sounds like Deja- Vu. I just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years for many reasons- this being one of them. He had 2 - 3 jobs for less than 4 mths total within 2 years. I , on the other hand always maintained a job. We didnt live together - but your story is showing me where my relationship would've headed. What I realized, and I think you do too - is that you shouldn't have to " Wake him up". He's a grown *** man and you are not his mother. If he is in a relationship, and living together with his woman.. that is a responsibility in itself, and he is just being IRRESPONSIBLE and needs to grow up. I apologize if I am sounding harsh, but I am speaking from recent experience( we broke up last month) and it makes perfect sense to me. You seem to be responsible, handling your business, and why should you be with someone who is not on your level? SUre, you love him( I still love my ex) but who comes first? Love, or the bills? or you? If he loved you.. wouldn't he help? Wouldn't he want to get a job if that makes you happy - or because everyone SHOULD HAVE A JOB! This is 2006. I'll tell you the honest truth. He is not getting a job because he knows he has YOu to lean on. He knows you are not going to leave him and if you have ever threatened him.. they are empty threats. He keeps " telling you" he will do something.. and you keep " believing" . But the only person actually DOING - is YOU. Please! You do not have to " get strength" for him. You have your own life, own responsibilities.. he is not your child. He needs to get his life together... and you need to start thinking about what's more important. I know this may hurt, because you love him-- but as I stated before-- if he loved you, he wouldn't do what he is doing. I just find it ridiculous @ this point. These men not being MEN.
2006-09-25 08:20:53 · answer #4 · answered by Danny 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Within the past few weeks, I have posted a similar situation. Long story short, I am breaking up with my b/f. You should do the same. I am not a bill-paying crutch while I support my low-life b/f who plays video games all day. No way, jose! I'm breaking up with him this week. I hope you wake up and smell the coffee soon. I love my b/f with all my heart too, but I've got to draw the line somewhere because obviously people like him will just keep taking advantage of people like us. I'm drawing the line this week by asking him to get out!!
2006-09-25 08:15:30 · answer #5 · answered by melcar12345 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Degrade him as a man. Tell him that Your he one bringing home the bacon, and that he's the b i t c h in the realationship. Becuase technically that's what he is. Tell him that you're going to try to find a really man that doesn't take life like a boy. Playing games on the computer and doesn't get is lazy a s s to find a job so he can provide for himself at least an you.
2006-09-25 08:16:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow- some girls will do anything to keep a lazy, worthless guy around. And you love him.... why?
Oh wait- because he's unemployed, plays on the computer, talks to his friends, won't get out of bed, and forces you to be financially responsible for him. What a guy!
Honey, tell this loser to get out. You might love him, but to the rest of the world, you're being used, abused and taken for a ride. He's a bum. Dump him as soon as he wakes up from his beauty sleep.
2006-09-25 08:15:20 · answer #7 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be so nice about it. Unplug the computer at night, or let the internet get shut off. Then, sit him down and tell him that he needs to go and find a job, if he honestly tries, good for him, and you. If he does not, the nest day wake him with a nice cold glass of ice water in the bed with him, I bet he'll be more eager to find a job then, don't you!!!
2006-09-25 08:17:35 · answer #8 · answered by LittleLady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I am sorry and I know exactly how you are feeling. I have been in a similar situation. But tough love worked for me. I told him that it wouldn't work if he didn't get a job because a man is suppose to work and that its not fair for me to go to work every day while he does nothing. I gave him all the job leads I could find until he got one. You are going to have to stay on him constantly, and if that doesn't work or you get tired of the whole situation. Make him move.
2006-09-25 08:17:21 · answer #9 · answered by Brown Sugar 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kick his no good a-- out the door and let him see on his own. If he loves you so much, then why are you on yahoo answers looking for assistance? Shouldnt he know to get a job on his own? If he was a MAN then you wouldnt have to tell him to get a job he would do it.....he is a BOY not a man. Tell him to go live with his mama bc you are not going to be mooched off of anymore. I bet if you didnt work he would move out!
2006-09-25 08:17:18 · answer #10 · answered by Evil Red 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋