Add into the equation: you don't know the significant other all that well; that person is over the age of 30; that person has some "habits" that you do not like (e.g., using illegal substances); you've been friends with your friend for over 10 yrs; you are a professional (doctor, lawyer, etc.); you have never worked with your friend's significant other.
2006-09-25 08:05:05 · 7 answers · asked by J.Z. 3 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
To Alex: I guess I mentioned the over 30 thing b/c I figure by that age a person should have other persons who know him/her better to be a reference than someone who barely knows them. My bad :).
2006-09-25 08:25:01 · update #1
Telling the truth softly is probably the best you can do in this case. "I'm flattered that you think I'd be a good reference but I barely know Henry. I wouldn't know what to say if someone asked me a specific question about him. I guess I need to decline. I am really sorry -- (then add, with a smile) I'll be a reference for you though... anytime!"
In your examples of "a professional" you specified "doctor, lawyer, etc." Your friend probably feels that your impressive credentials will far outweigh the factual information that can be provided by Henry's actual work acquaintances or his friends.
... Just my opinion!
2006-09-25 10:42:59 · answer #1 · answered by Map Skraps 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say "No" and give some of the reasons you have stated: You don't know the person well enough and you have never worked with them.
For the sake of friendship, I would probably not mention the "habits".
I would definitely not mention them being over the age of 30 - isn't that discrimination?
2006-09-25 15:12:56 · answer #2 · answered by Alex 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Huh,
I made a reference to my best friend once cuz I wanted to help him to get a better job (within my company). And i knew he was lazy and irresponsible dude, but kinda wanted to trust him when he said "don't worry, i want this job, I won't screw this up".
Well, long story short, he decided not to go for this job and didn't nicely explain it to the hiring manager, just didn't answer her email. So at the end, he is still my friend, but I can't refer anybody to my company cuz management is aware that people that i refer are not responsible.
Lesson learned......
Do your math
2006-09-25 15:18:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Despite all the other stuff you mentioned, if you don't know the person then you can't provide a reference. Just tell your friend politely that you just can't provide a reference for someone you don't even know.
2006-09-25 15:08:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say sorry, no, but I just dont give references.
2006-09-25 16:05:08 · answer #5 · answered by hirebookkeeper 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell the truth, that is all you have to do. They probably won't call on you anyway.
2006-09-25 15:08:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would not lie and refuse to do so in any case not for a friend or their partner
2006-09-25 18:37:07 · answer #7 · answered by churchonthewayseniors 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋