How do you honestly tell a woman; wife or girlfriend; that she has become overweight. That you would love to help her with this. Its just how do you tell her WITHOUT being rude or hateful.
2006-09-25 07:52:27 · 38 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To be perfectly honest; if you tell your wife/girlfriend etc. that you're concerned about her health due to the few extra pounds she's put on and explain that you'd be willing to accompany her at a gym or a romantic stroll each night, she would probably come more to thanking you for being concerned and love you more for your honesty than just ignoring it completely and letting it go! My opinion is to speak openly at the same time letting her know she's loved either way!
2006-09-25 08:01:35 · answer #1 · answered by shelly_mo67 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you really love someone you won't be telling them they are overweight because of the way they look, you would be telling them because you are concerned for their health, and if this is the case it is not rude to say anything. Just simply tell her that you really care for her and want to live a long happy healthy life with her, and that you think it would be a good idea if you both when to the gym together a few times a week, started going on walks and start eating healthier. That way you don't have to mention that she is overweight, just that you think you both should start living healthier lives. Good luck man!
2006-09-25 07:57:20 · answer #2 · answered by italianbaby 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Telling a woman she is overweight is akin to telling a man he is an alcoholic or has anger problems. You can't break the bad news in a good way and hope they aren't offended. If you feel you must tell her, then tell her upfront (not passive, you can't expect the person to take a clue or expect that it isn't offensive) and do NOT make fun of her. I know it does NOT comfort her but you can't just go lying to her that she is pretty when in your head she isn't. Your body language and day to day mannerisms will still show you are losing respect for her. Do not throw tantrums at her if she gives any typical response (shallow, do you not love me) and point out that she isn't gettting any respect out of you via guilt trips. No man wants to be with a controlling woman. Stand up to your words, set a good example of what a person should act, but don't be an asshole and call her names.
You BETTER be willing to help her improve herself though. Calling her fat but not willing to help her does her NO GOOD. Just don't be a doormat and tell her it's ok for her to be overweight when in your mind it isn't. You will just end up regretting your actions later. This IS NOT about whether you love her, but whether you LUST for her/ respect her body and looks. Women it is NOT the same. Men, don't lie just to say on her good side, telling her that that dress does not make her butt look big, when she is overweight. Nothing is more disgusting than a man that is desperate for sex.
2006-09-25 14:44:52 · answer #3 · answered by deusdenton 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is NO way to tell a woman she is overweight! Trying the "exercise together" b*llsh*t doesn't work either. She will say "What do you think I'm fat?" and all men know where that leads. You would be better off losing your job and not having money for groceries than to tell her to lose some weight. If her size bothers you, then leave. You WILL NOT win. It's best to move on because you seem too shallow to really care what she thinks. Good luck!
2006-09-25 08:00:07 · answer #4 · answered by denverbroncos1973 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a question for you...Do you love her? If the answer is yes then you love her regardless if she is 100 pounds or 200 pounds. You have to be very delicate with wanting to tell her she is over weight because she probably already know. She doesn't need you to tell her she is fat. But if you do feel the need to tell her. Do it nicely. Be gentle. Maybe buy some activities that you can do together like a volleyball net or play basketball together. After I had my husbands two children I gained weight and I knew I was a little overweight. So per my request, we started doing more outdoor activity like volleyball and badminton, as well as basket ball. Just please keep her feelings at the top of your list and everything will be okay.
2006-09-25 08:08:38 · answer #5 · answered by ga_gyrl91 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't........ you just suggest that the two of you start getting out more and being more athletic. Walking, riding bikes, dancing maybe the gym together and f course more sexual activities. Then after a few weeks start suggesting meals that are healthier. Make sure to comment on how much better you feel now that the two of you are getting out and enjoying life... and you might add that it sure does look good on her. In no time at all you will notice a difference in her appearance.
2006-09-25 07:58:14 · answer #6 · answered by shughes2000_2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to do this. Anything you say will be wrong. This is not your place, whether it is your wife or girlfriend. She is not stupid, she knows she is overweight and is making the choices she is for some reason. It's too bad you cannot accept her as she is - that fact will hurt her more than anything else.....
2006-09-25 10:00:47 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a man with a wife who feels she is over weight. The only thing to do in your position. Is let her decide whether she feels over weight or not. If she tells you she is be caring and offer your support. If not. Let her be and love her for who she is. Telling her shes over weight when she thinks shes just fine could and most likley would crush her. So Just Be There For Her Either Way.
2006-09-25 08:01:19 · answer #8 · answered by brandon k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate being overweight, but not as much as I hate to excercise and not as much as I love food. What do you do? Hell if I know. I hate my body. I'm depressed and never want to go anywhere in public, unless it's out of town where no body knows me. I'm ashamed. I hate me, but I hate to excersice too. I'd rather do crack to get skinny and if I knew I could, I would in a heart beat.
Maybe your woman is depressed and that's what's causing her weightgain, so whatever you do, be gentle with her emotions.
2006-09-25 08:23:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU DON'T!!!
If she truly is overweight she already knows it.
The best approach is positive reinforcement when she makes good decisions about eating and exercise.
The only other thing you can do (if you are also overweight) would be to suggest you both get in shape together.
Be careful, my friend... You're treading on thin ice here.
2006-09-25 08:04:26 · answer #10 · answered by janisko 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋