he says things like "tell me there's no other" and tell me i'm the best you've ever had. what is up with that? should i be scared of him?
2006-09-25 07:32:35 · 15 answers · asked by goddess1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Men want to be in control of everything in their life. Most guys won't even admit if they don't have control, or will find a way to get a bit of control.
A guy says things like 'tell me there is no other' and 'I'm the best', because he is insecure. He is afraid you'll leave him in a second as soon as you find someone better. Guy's believe this, because they would do it themselves. They are just with their current girlfriend because they have not met that super model yet.
It's not much to be 'scared of', he sounds harmless...so far. Concerned, sure, but not scared.
2006-09-25 07:37:09 · answer #1 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not about control, its probably about him being let down before, and he just wants some reassurance that he's not misplacing his trust.
Men are not all the same - in spite of what most women say - and women are not all the same, in spite of what most men say.
Sometimes when a man is trying to be in control he's trying to say "stop trying to control me" or he's saying "I'm very old fashioned and I actually think men used to command their wives as posed by films, and feminists"
Men never make fun of women during sex... but they are very concious that a girl will laugh at the size of his you know what, or how long he lasts... the media would have men believe that unless he's James Bond and lasts for 4 hours that he's deficient. It's the man version of what women have to go through... some women think that if they are size 12 or upwards they are fat, when they aren't.
Perhaps you should explain to you man that you aren't going anywhere, how you feel about him, that you value him and your relationship, but these words he is saying make you feel uneasy, and ask him in return how he feels about you.
You both might know that "of course he/she loves me" but the words have to be said once in a while.
Good luck, and I hope you both will be very happy
2006-09-25 07:41:51 · answer #2 · answered by Mark S_UK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you need to be scared of him. He probably needs to receive a lot of affection to realize that you care about him. One way of doing this is to periodically remind him of why you're with him to begin with.
Some guys do not care and are the opposite of the guy you've described. Although I am sure they are as genuine, it can be difficult to gage how he feels.
If you're comfortable with the 2nd man, the first man you described may not be ideal for you because he may, over a long period of time, become bitter because he would have felt unloved because he didn't receive those reminders from time to time.
It's not that you are wrong or that you haven't shown your affection in other manners, such as your actions, but, to some, hearing words of praise mean a lot. Try it a couple of times and you'll notice that his behavior may improve and his overall attitude might even become more positive.
No, he isn't a weirdo so don't worry about being scared of him.
2006-09-25 07:38:43 · answer #3 · answered by Tones 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I use to be in a relationship just like that and it lead to him betting on me and rapping me multi time and I desided to leave my life was worth more then to let a man take control of it. Some men try to have control because of how they were raised or from what they have seen others do. they think women are weak, you can tlet him know he is hurting you , you have to stand strong and let him know you are in charge of your life and stand your ground. if you are scared call your family or a friend or the abuse hotline
2006-09-25 07:42:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men and women both love their ego's stroked. Keeps him at home and keeps his eye from wandering to another female that is willing to do it for him. My guy and I stroke eachother's ego's all the time, nothing wrong with it and doesn't make us any less of a person for making eachother feel good about ourselves and about eachother as a couple.
2006-09-25 07:39:56 · answer #5 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
The best way to hold on to a good man is to stroke his ego. If you don't like him do both of yourselves a favor and leave the relationship. If you are kind, you will not contact him again. Let him get on with his life and you get on with yours.
Take care,
2006-09-25 07:37:41 · answer #6 · answered by Radioactive1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him...He's got a confidence problem. Or better yet, tell him NO he's not the best you've had so he better step it up.
2006-09-25 07:37:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is not being control, that is,seeking reassurance. and he shouldn't have to, if you tell him all the things you admire about him. Men sometimes want to know you care
2006-09-25 07:39:20 · answer #8 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys need boosts to their self-esteem, and rely on that kind of thing to make them feel manly. I wouldn't really worry about it unless it's really excessive.
2006-09-25 07:54:27 · answer #9 · answered by ask the eightball 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's insecure. just tell him "I've never had better..." then mumble under you breathe "in the last five minutes." He needs the ego boost.
2006-09-25 07:39:05 · answer #10 · answered by mikeyditka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋