Ok, so my best friends girl just called me to tell me about a problem that they are having. Keep in mind I have never talked to her on the phone. Not sure how she has my number. But the question is. Do I tell him knowing that it will drive him crazy and cause more trouble then good???? Or do I just ask her not to call me about there problems anymore??? And hope that she doesn't tell him she called me and I didn't let him know??
2006-09-25 07:27:33 · 23 answers · asked by BigDanEaglesFan 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You just said it yourself, your BEST FRIEND's girl. So who counts more, the girl or your best friend? I think you know what I'm getting at. It's important at this stage to tell your best friend that she called and it's best to do this in front of her. Don't be all wise and "I am a saint" kinda mood, just say it cuz you care. Say that talking to people about personal problems only creates more issues, it's a way out. You make sure that your friend gets to know this before she tells your friend. Otherwise you can forget calling him your best friend, cuz he may not trust you.
2006-09-25 07:34:35 · answer #1 · answered by R. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell the girl not to call you w/problems again, or else you will have to tell your best friend. Your loyalty is to him, not her, and she should know that before she tells you anything else. As for her first call to you--call her back and tell her you shouldn't have talked to her about this problem because it puts you in a difficult position. Tell her you feel your friend should know, but give her the opportunity to say something to him first. If she doesn't tell him in, say a few days or however long you give her, then tell her you will tell your friend yourself. When you talk to your friend, apologize and tell him it won't happen again, and that you didnt' know what to do at the time the girl called and made the wrong decision at the time. If he's a true friend, he'll understand.
2006-09-25 07:31:16 · answer #2 · answered by Michelle V 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It'll be sensible not to bring the world crashing down on your head. She told you about problems, but its best to stay neutral. Dont get things too close between you two. Just give her a little bit of advice and try to be neutral and not put blame on anyone. If she gets too close, tell her to sit her boy down and talk things out. If she tries tp get too close, tell her off or say you are sorry but in view of your friendhsip with her guy, you cant help much and you might have to let her boyfriend know how things are.
2006-09-25 07:36:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how about trying to help her fix the problem and tell her she should talk to her boyfriend and then go to your friend and say "i hope you don't mind your girl called me for some advise?"
or you could just tell her "you need to talk to your boyfriend about this and not me"
the only reason she came to you is cus she needed a guys opinion on the problem and you know him pretty good so you know what your friend would react
and one more thing if its something really big you should tell your friend straight out, but if its not anything huge then try to help them fix it
good luck i hope it all pans out for you
2006-09-25 07:40:22 · answer #4 · answered by carmelfude2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell her your uncomfortable with her calling you and that she should talk to her man, or her friends about the problems shes having. Then tell your best friend that she called you and what you said.
2006-09-25 07:30:49 · answer #5 · answered by marie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she calls you again, tell her that she shouldn't be talking to you about their problems. She should find another woman she trusts to talk to it about! If she still calls you, tell you friend and let him know you didn't want her calling because he's your friend and she's his girlfriend. Stay true to him.
(If she continues to do this and you feed into it it's techinically considered as you having a emotional affair with her.)
Also, if he's physically hurting her and you know it, report it to someone who can help!
2006-09-25 07:32:24 · answer #6 · answered by Lacking Daisies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you tell here exactly what you told us. How you are obligated as a friend to not keep secrets. You are right ...if she tells him that she called before you do, he may be mad. Remember, you are HIS friend first, not hers. Tell her that you must metion it to him, and that you will always mention it to him if she calls you again, not because you want to cause problems, but because you don't want to become part of them.
2006-09-25 07:35:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sit down with both of them and you tell him that she called and that you want that out in the open and you ask her to not call you anymore for things that don't involve you and that's it. No one should be upset at that point and now you've also not had anymore private talks with her.
2006-09-25 07:29:49 · answer #8 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
IF I WERE IN YOUR SHOES, I'D DO BOTH. I WOULD TELL THE GIRL TO STOP CALLING ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS AND TELL MY FRIEND THAT SHE CALLED. THAT WAY IT WON'T LOOK LIKE YOU WERE DOING ANYTHING WRONG. BECAUSE IF SHE WERE TO TELL HIM THAT SHE CALLED YOU, THE BOYFRIEND COULD GET ANGRY AT THE THOUGHT THAT SHE KNOWS YOUR PHONE NUMBER AND THAT YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM.
2006-09-25 07:33:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you should sit them both down and tell them that what you are about to do won't be pleasant, and that you appreciate her coming to you for help, but you have to do it anyway. and just tell them that you would like to stay out of their business and that you would greatly appreciate if his gf didn't call you with problems. You have to make sure that they are both there and that its clear to both that way you can't really cause a problem. good luck
2006-09-25 07:32:06 · answer #10 · answered by wantstoknow 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋