This guy i've been seeing for a short time asks to come over and hang out with me and my kids and I only let him when the kids aren't home he thinks it is because of him and doesnt seem to understand that I'm just trying to avoid any unnecessary confusion with the kids, and when the time is right it will happen. He has no children of his own so I know its hard for him to see where im coming from.
2006-09-25 07:25:14 · 13 answers · asked by daiseynavigator 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You go girl! You are doing the right thing, if he keeps insisting on pressuring you then you need to kick him to the curb. Tell him your kids are #1 in your life, children are naive and easily love people and you are not going to let your children like him or love him till you know there is something there to build on. Tell him you are willing to let your heart get broken but not your kids' hearts! You are definitely being a super mom...I'm so proud of you for not exposing your kids to this new person....KUDOS!!
2006-09-25 07:28:40 · answer #1 · answered by Shae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have romantic inclinations with him...youre right not to get the kids involved.
Beginning romances tend to have the single person without kids trying to win the kids over right away or not wanting anything to do with them. Either way, the kids get hurt sooo easily. It's best to get to know the other person you might like to be in yours AND your kids' life. Do they ask about your kids, do they seem to not take interest, do they want kids, etc. If the relationship is going to the marriage level..youre engaged..then its good to introduce them but only for limited amounts of time.
But, you can prepare the kids ahead of time for any changes that will come from marriage.
Kids will become attached quickly when done right. Just as if you introduce them to a relative you havent seen in a long time. If you trust this person, they will too.
2006-09-25 07:33:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was a single mother for almost 5 yrs...and I wouldnt let anyone near my daughter....I simply explained that my dating is a transitional period for my children and that I am still letting them get used to the idea,and that unless you are positive it will be a permanent relationship,it would not be fair to the kids to get attached tosomeone you have only dating for a month or 2....and if he is constantly "pushing" the subject than I would start wondering why???
2006-09-25 07:32:45 · answer #3 · answered by joelden2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been dating a guy for 4 years it wasnt until this year after I moved in that I introduced my kids to him.(For school district purposes,kids live with thier dad). The reason for this is I wanted things to be solid and for my girls NOT to get attached and then things not work out. Take your time when the time is right you'll know it.
2006-09-25 07:31:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you are not going to drag your kids through one guy after another to keep them getting attached to someone and then it doesn't work out. I applaud you, I did the same thing with my children. I dated their step father for over a year before I let them meet each other and get to know each other!! So many Mothers don't care!!
2006-09-25 08:00:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't up to him. You lay out the rules. You will continue to see him on your time and not with your children. If he's not ok with that, then BYE!
I'm not even sure why you asked. These are your KIDS and you are doing the right thing. His understanding it won't change that, right?
2006-09-25 07:28:07 · answer #6 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with you on this one! I've been in your shoes and you are wise to put this "meeting" off until you are comfortable with your children in his presence.
If the guy is pushy about meeting your kids, I'd cut the cord on this relationship because a red flag is going up in my head.
A mother knows!
2006-09-25 07:32:50 · answer #7 · answered by niteowl716 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would explain to him that you like him but you dont want to hurt your children if they get attached to him. Obviously when your relationship takes a few steps forward then "ALL" of your life will come into his that includes your children. Im a guy and I understand that. Nobody wants to hurt their children.....
2006-09-25 07:30:45 · answer #8 · answered by da_leeda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice that he wants to meet your kids. But if the times not right, he needs to respect that. Just try to explain it to him the best you can.
2006-09-25 07:30:14 · answer #9 · answered by beweird22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you want to make sure the relationship is a good one befor you meet the kids .I think you are smart not to rush in
2006-09-25 07:28:52 · answer #10 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋