ok so my husband has been talking about having a 3sum...he says that this is every guys fantasy...i would love to fullfill his wishes but however im not the skinniest of girls(im not that fat either). I just had a baby and dont really have my body back in shape. So i feel a little down about this because he wants it with a skinnier girl...plus a prettiar one(my own opinion considering the girls that he has picked out) I love my husband and want to give him this but im afrid ill be really jealous and wont be able to take it....if you have ever had a 3 sum can u tell me what it was like seeing ur guy with another chick??and guys can you please tell me WHY this is every guys fantasy i just dont get it....please IM me with any further questions ..dazeaway_fromtoday@yahoo
2006-09-25 07:17:32 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
we have gone out together and tryed to pick out girls but the one's that i am comftorable with he thinks are ugly. he says he needs to be attracted to her to make it work, and he wont go for the guy guy girl 3 sum because he cant imagine another weiner next to his
2006-09-25 07:27:53 · update #1
Just stay away from it. Not only it will create friction between you and your husband (you are obviously doing this to please HIM), but you already have insecurities. Eventually you will feel resentment and who knows what will happen.
You just had a baby. Why would you want to expose yourself to catch a STD?? It's ok for people to have fantasies and it's great for spouses to explore each other's ideas; but somehow when you get married and decide to have kids, you need to stop and analyze the risks you are taking.
Ask yourself as well how comfortable are you being touched or kissed by another woman? will that make you feel uneasy? it's interesting that his answer to a MMF 3some is he can't have another di** next to him. Can you have a ?ussy next to you? it goes both ways sweetie.
I agree with the poster who states your husband is just trying to get some extra-marital fun without having to lie to you.
Use your head and trust your feelings.
Good Luck!
2006-09-25 08:48:08 · answer #1 · answered by Brujita 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since you ask your question in the public forum, I am willing to publicly share my understanding. I hope you won't be offended. When younger, I shared in what you might call a 3sum when I explored polygamy (1 man being married to more than 1 woman). I thought it was o.k., because of things from the Bible (Old Testament), and things we see in Islam. Since then, I have learned the Christian meaning of "fornication": You share not just your body. You share emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. Fornication is such a problem because you defile your own inward spirit. You take in the spirit of every person your partner(s) have had contact with. So, if he had 10, you had 8, there are at least 20 spiritual influences pressing your mind and heart. (Keep in mind the 10 might each have had 10, the 8 might each have had 8. Do the math). At first, like with AIDES or herpes, you show no "symptoms", but later you show changes in attitude, disposition and temperament -- and you don't immediately connect it to the sex. You can't really tell where its coming from -- who it's coming from. Many married men who think 3sum is cool, do so because, frankly, they are afraid. They are afraid they are missing something. A single woman, fidelity, and marriage does not excite and satisfy. The risk to one's spirit is rarely spoken of or clearly explained. I encourage you, be thoughtful, be prayerful. Grow in grace.
THE BLACK PHOENIX
Washington, DC
2006-09-25 13:16:37 · answer #2 · answered by THE BLACK PHOENIX 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One, you just had a baby, and he brings this up? he should be helping you and child. If you Love your husband, which I am sure you do, but follow your heart, if you have any doubts DO NOT DO IT! I had a threesome and I did not want it but to please and supposedly cause I loved him, it happened, and in a 3-way, one person is for the most part left out, so if you have any fears jealousys', and or insecuritys' about this DO NOT DO IT! The ending to mine was it the beginning of the end, it took 3 weeks to totally destroy the relationship...The guys interest in all of this is really no more than an addictive porn, only played out in real life. And their still are guys that want a monogomous relationship. Think of the health aspect, she could be carrying the AIDS Virus, are you willing to carry that as a burden thru life? Think of your child and your-self, and lose the Jack***
2006-09-25 08:00:00 · answer #3 · answered by Jamaison D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said you wanted to "fullfill his wishes." But obviously this is not something you want to do. DO NOT do this, especially since it's just for him. It's one thing to want to please your man, but this is something else. Have you told him how you feel about this? He should love & respect you enough to not want you to do anything that would make you uncomfortable.
Sometimes when men want this it's because they want to open up a door so they can't be accused of "cheating." What would he expect after this? He had his chance to sow all his wild oats BEFORE he got married. Some fantasies should remain just that: a fantasy. If you two have always had an understanding that your relationship was to be monogamous, then that's that. When you said your vows, I do believe you both said..."forsaking all others." Sounds like he needs to be reminded of this. I can almost assure you that if you go through with this, it will open a can of worms you won't be able to close, not to mention what it will do to your self-esteem.
2006-09-25 14:48:12 · answer #4 · answered by jude89 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have never had a threesome but I do know people who have and they have always ended badly. Even though the women may go into this thinking that it will be ok and they are doing it to please their man they will get jealous. Women are emotional by nature and seeing the man that you love in the process of making love to another woman is potentially going to be devastating to you and your relationship with your husband.
I understand that you love your husband and want to fulfill his fantasies but unless you are 100% sure you can handle it I don't think it is a good idea.
If you decide this isn't a good idea for you just tell him the truth and let him see that you want to take care of him and fulfill his fantasies but you have to draw the line at something that can damage your marriage. If he loves you and respects you and your relationship he will understand.
2006-09-25 07:24:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter that you may have a little extra weight, it will be so exciting for him to see both you and the other girl naked at the same time, he will probably *** before he has much of a chance to do anything, or you and the other girl might have so much fun, he might get jealous, not you.
Its every guys fantasy to see two women play and then try to have sex with both women at the same time, trading off or oral with one and coitus with the other. If women have bisexual tendencies, they enjoy being with and being seen getting pleasure by their man. Also they like to see what it looks like when their man penetrates and gives pleasure to another woman.
The hottest thing of all tho, is when their man brings home another man and he and the other guy share the woman and he watches her being taken and pleasured.
2006-09-25 07:24:55 · answer #6 · answered by orygunduk1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is every guys fantasy because men and women are wired differently. Women want one man to satisfy their every need. Men want every woman to satisfy their one need. Trust me on this, things will be awkward after you do this. Unless you both have an above average sex drive, your relationship will definitely change. This isn't one story to tell the grandkids about. But i've been there and done that and believe me, it changes everything. You may think you are cool with it, but really think it through. You are lucky in the sense that your husband is straightforward with you. Think long and hard about it, I recommend not, things get awkward and the trust factor goes down. It also does not help that most men are pigs. Trust me, I used to be one before I got married.
2006-09-25 07:23:37 · answer #7 · answered by Texas M.B.A. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about having a little more weight. There are many men that like a little meat on their women. That is not going to be the thing that breaks you two apart.
The fact that you do have a threesome is going to change your relationship with him and you may end up divorced. You will resent the fact that he wanted to make you do it and you don't really want too. Tell him if he makes you do it then it is the highway for him and that if he really loved you he would not even have asked you to have a three-way.
2006-09-25 14:42:11 · answer #8 · answered by Aliz 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to fantasize away, but no other person is coming into our bed!!! You two better grow up & realize that you have a child to care for. Besides, how do you know what diseases a 3rd person will bring to you both?
This is NOT every guys fantasy!!! My normal, sex loving hubby would never dream of it! I asked him!
You say you love your husband - well - it doesn't sound as if he has your best interests at heart. Good luck!
2006-09-25 16:15:42 · answer #9 · answered by Da Bomb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you think that you will be jealous then don't do it. do YOU want to be with another chick? if not then don't do it. I've never had a 3 way and I never would, but here are some suggestions:
you get to pick the girl out.
you get to set the rules about what your husband can and can't do with the girl.
you can always tell your husband... you could have ME or you could have a 3 way... but not both!
2006-09-25 07:23:26 · answer #10 · answered by Crazy dog lady 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋